[FFML] [SHnY] The Score of Haruhi Suzumiya
henry.cobb at gmail.com
Fri Sep 2 11:44:25 PDT 2011
[SHnY] The Score of Haruhi Suzumiya
By Henry J. Cobb
[The Haruhi Suzumiya characters and situations are the creation of Nagaru
Tanigawa. Other than that, he's blameless for the following.]
"Ah ha!" Haruhi Suzumiya threw open the door of the Literature Club
room. "I thought you'd be in here."
I looked over the shoulder of the crazy girl, who had introduced herself to
my class as wanting to live her life like the movies, and saw one person
in the room. By her slight frame, I would have judged her to be a middle
school student at most, but she wore the smallest North High School girl's
uniform I had seen.
The smaller girl looked up from the book in her lap. She had very pale
skin, short blueish gray hair and large glasses. She sat there for several
seconds looking at us silently, but she seemed distracted, as if she was
listening to something. Perhaps she wore one of those tiny radios that
would be hidden in the ear?
Haruhi, who had recently cut her own hair short, marched over to the
corner where the girl sat and pointed at her. "Are you in the Literature
The girl nodded.
"Is there anybody else in this club?"
The girl shook her head.
"What is your special power?"
The girl's eyes darted to myself, then back to Haruhi. She leaned back in
her seat and lifted her book to hide her face.
"That's enough Haruhi." I walked over to them. "Isn't it obvious that
you're scaring her? Let's go before you leave her emotionally scared for
"No." Haruhi turned to me. "This is the only clubroom available and
there's only one person here. Obviously she must play an important role."
"What kind of logic is that?"
Haruhi turned back to the smaller girl, placed a hand on the top of her
book, and forced it down from her face. "Spit it out. We're not leaving
until you tell us what is special about you."
"Haruhi, that's enough."
"Close the door." The girl's voice quavered in a whisper.
"You heard her, Haruhi. Let's go."
"Close the door, Kyon." Haruhi stood with arms crossed, a smug smile on
"Fine, if that will get this over with." I closed the door and then
returned, to drag Haruhi away by force if need be.
The girl put her book down in her lap again, then whispered, "I hear
"Ah ha! I thought so." Haruhi clinched her fist in victory. "What kind of
The girl looked down at her book. "It isn't songs, just instruments. It
doesn't repeat." She looked back up at us with a faint blush on her
face. "I know it sounds crazy, but it helps me. Last week I was about to
step into the street while reading a book, and the music changed. I looked
up and saw a truck pass by. I know you won't believe me."
"Of course I believe you. That is exactly the sort of super power I want
in my club. I'm Haruhi Suzumiya, action girl, and this is my boy hostage,
The girl book her book aside, rose and bowed to us. "I'm Yuki
Haruhi ignored my glare. "You know, he gets kidnapped or threatened to
call me into action. He's my Lois Lane."
"What?" I stood there shocked.
"Does, does that mean he's your boyfriend?"
Haruhi tilted her head to the side and thought about it for a few seconds
and then she turned to me with a smile as bright as a supernova, just
before a star would collapse into a black hole. She put her arm through
mine. "I suppose he must be, for the proper motivation and such. But Kyon,
this is no excuse for you to slack off. We have to keep the tension
up. Your job will be to complain and stumble into mysteries. Promise that
you won't surrender to me, no matter how many times I'm proved right and
"Rescue me from what?"
Haruhi grinned and turned to Nagato. "What did your music sound like just
"See? It's foreshadowing. Yuki, you must join our club."
"What is your club?"
"Yes." Haruhi released me and rested her chin on her hand. "It needs to be
a top secret organization, but we'll need a cover story to deal with the
school authorities. Yuki, do you have application forms for the Literature
Haruhi tagged alongside as I walked down the hill from school. Was she
serious about my being her boyfriend? Didn't I get a vote about that? "So
what is an action girl?"
"Let me show you, Kyon. Now watch me carefully." Haruhi did four backflips
down the hill, then ran back and stopped me in place with a half dozen
kicks that stopped centimeters from my nose. She then stepped up, grabbed
me by the arm, and pulled me into motion again. "So Kyon, think carefully
"Think carefully about how you almost kicked me in the face?"
"No, that's not it. The real question is, what color are my panties?"
"What? What kind of question is that?"
"You didn't see them, did you?" She grinned.
"Uh." It was only Haruhi's grip on my arm that kept me walking
forwards. The memory of a few seconds back was etched in my brain. The
sense of danger had been immediate. "Sorry, I didn't see them. My eyes
were focused on your shoes."
"See, I've got a magic skirt."
"It looks like a standard North High school uniform to me."
"It doesn't matter what I wear. I'm never exposed."
I didn't know what to say to that so I walked in silence. I had known that
all the sports clubs had begged her to join, and now I had seen why for
myself. Was her athletic ability matched by any other girl in Japan?
At the station she spoke up again as I was unlocking my bike.
"Give me a ride to your house."
"I want to meet your family."
"What, to announce our engagement?"
"Nope. We've got to keep that a secret. Now do you want me to sneak after
you, or will you give me a ride?"
She rode in the same fashion that Sasaki had a few months previous,
standing on the back of my bicycle with her hands on my shoulder.
My little sister seemed pleased that I had brought another girl by, but
not half as much as my mother was. Haruhi agreed when my mom asked her to
stay for dinner.
At dinner my mom was full of questions which Haruhi cheerfully
answered. Haruhi explained how we had both joined the Literature Club that
day and even brought up her own high class standing in Middle School,
unbidden. She asked what my cell phone number was and my mom told her as
she entered it into her phone, then she made a test call right there, so I
would "have her number handy".
After dinner I escorted Haruhi to our door.
She grabbed me and leaned in close. For a moment I thought she might kiss
me or something, but instead she whispered in my ear, "Thanks, Kyon. Now
that I know what your family looks like, I'll be able to rescue them when
they get kidnapped." She stepped back. "Well, goodnight. I'll see you in
class tomorrow." She waved and walked away.
I didn't need Miss Nagato's so-called gift to have an ominous feeling
myself. Haruhi had said when, not if.
As I turned back inside I saw my mother standing there.
"She's such a nice girl. I fully approve."
That makes one of us, Mom. Unfortunately I didn't give voice to my doubts.
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