[FFML] [Fate/Stay Night, Mai Hime, Sailor Moon] Unlimited Food Porn (HAS NO ACTUAL PORN )

John Biles john at biles.us
Thu Mar 4 17:54:21 PST 2010


I'm very sorry I took so long to reply; this got lost in my mailbox.

Thank you for the feedback and here is me replying!


> >"And Shirou, what are you doing, running around with
> >other women?  My mistress won't be pleased.  I'm going to
> >have to kill them so you won't be tempted," the woman
> >with the naginata said cheerfully.
>
> Ah, crazy-logic, where would we be without you?
>

Much less crazy, much more bored!


>
>
> >    "You're hurt and you need to rest," Rin said firmly.
> >"And that's all.  We can deal with witnesses later."
>
> Rin is never really as hardcore as she thinks she should be.
>

Her father did not do a very good job of instilling hard-core ness, probably
because he mostly left her alone.


>
> >the power to revolutionize the world
> ~Zettai Unmei Mokushiroku~
>
>
Hheh.


>
> >But a Master can only have one
> >Servant at a time, by the rules.
>
> Given how some people support multiple Servants later you might want to
> make
> it clear that this is merely a convention, not an actual Law of Magic.
>
>
Yep, the rules are enforced by people rather than being laws of nature.
But most people don't know that.


>
> Usagi is doing a decent job of being slightly more mature without losing
> her
> characteristic compassion.
>

Thanks, she is older.

>
>
>
> >    "Father wouldn't let me learn that because he said
> >most mages use it to see people naked and he didn't want
> >me to be a pervert," Rin mumbled.
>
> That is so very anime. :)
>
> Heh.



> >    "Don't smile at me like that!" Rin protested.
>
> >    "Yes, master."
>
> >    "STOP SMILING AT ME LIKE THAT!"
>
> Rin is so cute.
>
>
Yep!


> >    "There is no one here," Rin shouted, then ran.
> >
> >    "Oh, okay," he said, then stopped.  "Wait, then who
> >are you?"  He clambered up and stuck his head out just in
> >time to see a flash of red and black around the corner of the
> >house.  "..."
> >
> >    "I'll put on more vegetables," Mai said cheerfully.
> >"For our extra guest."
> >
> >    "But she said there was no one there," Shirou said.
> >
> >   Mai laughed and went to work.
>
> >    A minute later, Shirou heard a banging at the door, so
> >he answered it.  "Oh, hello, Tohsaka-san," he said.  "Were
> >you around by the window?"
>
> >    "Of course not, I told you I wasn't, so I wasn't," she
> >said.
>
>
> This section didn't work as well for me. I think it's because it seems more
> like a farce than the character driven comedy from before. More "crack"
> than
> "humor."
>
> Hmm, yeah, true.


>
>
> >    Rude girl, Rin thought, frowning.  The Mato family
> >are a bunch of arrogant bastards who don't deserve their
> >pride; I've heard rumors their blood has become so weak
> >they can't produce any proper magi any more.
>
>
> Ooh, irony AND foreshadowing.
>

Yep!

>
>
> >    Rin sipped her tea and nodded approvingly.  Rin
> >admired anyone who dedicated themselves to something
> >and became good at it.  Mastering two arts (English and
> >Kendo) was even more impressive.
>
> Nice spot of charaterization; it rings very true.
>

Rin worked her butt off and she respects hard work.

>
> >    Now I remember, Usagi thought.  Urgently,
> >desperately, she suddenly blurted out, "Akane will be
> >staying with us because she's my cousin from the future!"
>
> >    THAT WAS NOT MY PLAN AT ALL, Usagi
> >thought, but now she felt a flare of pain in her arm and a
> >flash of light erupted over the entire planet from her
> >forehead.
>
>
> o.O;  Ouch.
>

Just a little messy.


>
>
> >    Six if you counted Onizuka-sensei, but since he acted
> >ike a kid in an adult's body, Usagi was not sure if he
> >counted.
>
> GTO!
> I'm liking Naru's habit of falling for older men. I have no idea if it's
> canon, but it's amusing.
>

It's based on her crush on Nephrite. After that in canon, she hooks up with
Umino and even history being rewritten at the end of season 1 can't break
those two up.


>
> >    Right now, she could just have a nice relaxing lunch
> >with a nice guy she probably wouldn't have to kill at all.
>
> I love Rin's tone here.
>

Hehe.


>
> >    Akane now noticed a beautiful, mature
> Comma after mature.
>
> >"Haha, I'm so impulsive," Usagi babbled in a panic.  If
> >only they...no, I'll trigger them!  Everyone will forget the
> >moon exists or something!
>
> Frighteningly possible. :)
>
>
Yes.
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