[FFML] [Azumanga] Muzak in F Flat

DB Sommer sommert at connecttime.net
Tue Dec 8 20:11:00 PST 2009

Muzak in F Flat

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Standard disclaimer: I don’t own any of the Azumanga characters


Many of the students had already filtered into the classroom when Tomo 
bounded in. Her eyes first espied Kagura in her seat, and she was by her 
‘Blockhead’ partner in a flash.

Smiling broadly, Tomo announced, “I’m going to start a Pop Music Club band!”

“You saw K-On! last night, didn’t you?” Kagura said through a flat stare.

Tomo gave Kagura an indignant look. “I’ll have you know not all of my 
brilliant ideas come from television.”

“Fine, fine,” Kagura said in a placating voice. “So what instrument do 
you play?”

Tomo pumped her fist in the air. “All you need is heart and spirit to 
play an instrument!”

“You did watch K-On!” Kagura said.

“There’s nothing wrong with receiving inspiration from an outside 
source. It’s called a muse.” Tomo smirked at having established a point. 
“So what do you think?” Her stance shifted to a more serious one. “And 
don’t tell me it’s a stupid idea.”

“So you want me to remain silent on this one, eh?”

“What I’m really looking for are additional band members.” Tomo looked 
at her hopefully.

“Already in the swimming club.” Kagura always enjoyed having an easy 
out. A pity none of the other usual suspects belonged to any clubs. They 
were going to have to work for their ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ cards.

Tomo turned to Sakaki. “How about you?”

“I can play a saxophone,” Sakaki said, looking a bit upbeat.

“Useless,” Tomo replied. “Everyone knows all you need are two 
guitarists, a drummer, and a keyboard for a band.”

Kagura said, “No. Talent and skill are what you need, otherwise it’s not 
music, just noise. Can you even read music?”

Tomo gave her a sad look. “Duh, you read books and play music, not the 
other way around. And people call me dumb.”

Osaka entered the room. Tomo was quick to accost her. “I’m forming a Pop 
Music Club band. Want in?”

Osaka said, “Actually I was in a garage band before I moved here.”

“What instrument did you play? Drums? Keyboard? There’s still a position 
open for a guitarist.”

“I am good with a kazoo, but they wanted me to be lead singer instead. 
Two sisters were my backup vocalists. It was sort of like I was Gladys 
Knight and they were my Pimps.”

“Pips,” Kagura corrected. “Pimps are… something else.” She had learned 
that much English, at least, as well as praying Osaka *had* 
mispronounced that.

Osaka was lost in her memories. “We were talking with a big time music 
label when I had to move, so the sisters took over lead vocals. I wonder 
how Emi and Yumi are doing.”

“If their last names are Sugiyama, pretty damn good.” Kagura mumbled.

Chiyo entered the room. Seeing her circle of friends, she walked over to 
them. “What’s going on?”

Tomo was quick to answer. “I’m putting together a Pop Music Club band 
and doing a membership drive.”

Chiyo looked excited. “I’d love to join. I enjoy music and singing.”

Osaka looked at her curiously. “I’m surprised. You don’t look like the 
type to deal with stalkers well.”

Chiyo suddenly looked a lot less enthusiastic. “Stalkers?”

The loss of enthusiasm from Chiyo seemed to flow to Osaka as she became 
more excited. “Sure. Once you become famous, you get stalkers. You’ll be 
especially appealing to the lolicon stalker type. They’ll follow you in 
droves everywhere. They’ll even camp outside your home, hoping to catch 
a glimpse of you. Your underwear will be sold for thousands of yen on ebay.”

Tomo had a thoughtful look on her face. “Hey, Chiyo, you shower after 
gym class, right?”

Chiyo looked terrified. “You can’t have my underwear, and I don’t want 
to join your band!”

Osaka shrugged. “Some people can’t handle fame.”

“What kind of stalkers do you think I’d get?” Tomo asked.

Osaka considered that. “I’m pretty sure you’d scare any stalkers off.”

Yomi finally entered the room, looking a bit out of breath from having 
to rush to school without being late. Tomo sidled up to her. “Hey Yomi, 
I’m making a Pop Music Club band. How--”

“I’ll be lead singer!” Yomi said quickly, grinning from ear-to-ear.

Tomo looked at Yomi, visions of karaoke night dancing through her head. 
She turned to Kagura. “You’re right. It is a dumb idea. Why don’t we 
make a Go club instead? My uncle has an old go board in his attic--.”

“--And you think it might be haunted,” Kagura finished.

“Is it my fault anime stole all the good ideas!” she shouted.


[End fic]

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