[FFML] [Fanfic][Ranma/SM] On A Clear Day You Can See Forever Chapter 22

[Bert Miller]

Mark MacKinnon wrote:
> was, well, pretty lacklustre.  It's always daunting, realising that 
> you've got 50 or 60 pages of material that don't really make the grade.  
>   
I can't say I've ever had that particular experience,
but that would be pretty depressing.

> because everytime you guys tell me how much you appreciate the work that 
> goes into this story, it shows me that all the time spent on this is not 
> in vain.
>   
By the way, I appreciate all the work you've put into
this story (just in case I've forgotten to mention it
previously).  I thought the action scenes in this
chapter may just be your best yet.

>      This was one of the new ones, the critters that nobody had seen
> until our very recent problems.
So the effect generated by the shattering of Silkaine's sphere, linked 
with his Halo
Generator, hasn't passed yet.  And these effects would seem to be, at 
this point,
the major occurrence so far which was NOT part of Wynneth's plan (at
least, to judge by her thoughts at the time). 

However, we don't see any indication in this chapter of these effects
working against Wynneth's plan; indeed, what indication we get seems
to suggest that the effects (a general weakening of barriers between
planes) are helping her.

>      "Well, he found one.  This is about as nigh as it gets.  Come on, let's
> make like a baby and head out."
>   
Never heard that one before; did you originate it?

>      "Welcome to the apocalypse," V sighed.  "You must be at least
> THIS tall to get on this ride."  
Reminds me of the old Far Side cartoon:  monsters must be at least THIS tall
to attack the city.

>      "Especially with AsterGate sealed," V agreed glumly.  "'The
> Gods Have Forsaken Us', indeed.  Either they're hiding, or Wynneth's
> little spell closed that particular door from our side and threw away the
> key."
>   
At this point, my guess is the latter, particularly in view of what 
Dasma tells Dragon later on.

But I can't help wondering how mortals know this.  Presumably the high 
priests
can tell, and spread the word, but do they sense it directly?  We don't even
know if AsterGate is a single physical structure/location, or something 
else.
(If it has a location, where is it?)  We also don't know why the gods, who
can transit directly to various other planes, need a Gate to get to Nikhien,
which we assume to be yet another plane.  I suppose, though, it might
not really be that.

Assuming Nikhien itself still exists, presumably Ranma, had he a clue,
could go there anyway.

> tall and slender.  The light quickly faded, revealing a woman, long-
> limbed and possessed of delicate strength, her fine features regal beneath
> a tiny black moon that graced her forehead, lustrous hair a rare shade of
> deep reddish-cerise-violet.  Mars had only seen her once before, but there
> was no mistaking her.
>      Dasma.
>   
This surprised me; I wasn't expecting Dasma to show this chapter at all,
and I certainly wasn't expecting her to play such a big role in it.

>      "You!  Step away from the boy, in the name of the Shining
> Crusade!"
>      Ah, swell.  Her again.  I peered around V, only to have my fears
> confirmed.
>      The Vestra Carlina Val Cassanda.  And friends.
>   
Another interesting development.  I was kind of expecting Carlina
here to have been half-converted, after her experiences underground,
and to be struggling to convince her superiors that the senshi might
not be all bad.  You do, however, give us good reason later this
chapter why she herself might be the biggest die-hard.

>      "Garven d'Or," he told them.  "Pleased to meet you."
>      Silence.
>      "Garven d'Or?" the princess gaped.  "THE Garven d'Or?"
>      "Oh, no," he grinned.  "Just a Garven d'Or.  You'd be surprised
> at how common a name it is."
>   
Heh.

>      "But you're not a god," Rei frowned.  "Are you a demigod?"
>      "Sort of," he confirmed. 
>      "Gar is my half-brother," Dasma told them, regarding the man
> with a mixture of exasperation and affection. 
>   
Interesting.  Somehow that hadn't occurred to me, even though we knew
that Gar's mother wasn't mortal (from Chap 17, Gar lied when he told Hild
that his mother was local and mortal).  It was obvious from Chap 20 that
Gar knew and was fond of Dasma, but I'd been thinking "old girlfriend".

This might give us further insight into Dasma's decision to stay behind
after Godswar, too.  If Gar wasn't permitted into Nikhien,
maybe Dasma stayed behind just so Gar wouldn't be alone?

> crystal casket holding me.  Banri kept him close, and when Baniesti
> came, a wave of energy came with it, rippling through the planes.  That
> energy interacted with the converter, and my prison was punched through
> the fabric of space, away from the Osiren."
>   
So the fragments we saw at the end of the last chapter were indeed
Dasma's casket, and NOT Osiren Black.  And nobody stayed on
that desolate plane, and Wynneth and Saekianna were never there
at all.

>      "But you knew the ceremony was coming," Rei said slowly.
> "You knew to be in the Osiren with this converter ..."
>      "I knew the signs to look for," he told her, his expression turning
> grave for the first time.  "My mother ... our mother, Dee's and mine, had
>   
So apparently Dasma's and Gar's mother is NOT the mother of anyone else (or,
at least, anyone else Gar would expect Moon and Rei to have heard of).

>      "What is your name?" Carlina demanded coldly.
>      "That's DC Chiba," a voice came from behind me.  "And I'm DS
> Otohari, Saeni Metro Operations Group, Fifty-five Division.  Are you in
>   
Heh.  So Yu Otohari actually IS here, at the fountain, but we can't find
out what, if anything, Peorth might have to say about him, because she ISN'T
here.  You're a cruel, cruel writer when you want to be.

(Although, going over your comments on my comments on Chap 21,
I suspect I was off-base on Yu, despite his last name.  You didn't
seem to have much to say about Piakesti, however. ;)  Not to
mention that the entire discussion in this chapter of the gods'
offspring may shed a different light on certain resemblances.)

>      "This woman is in league with the people who attacked our
> temple," Carlina gritted.  "And brought great harm to the White Order.  I
>   
Carlina KNOWS that this charge isn't true.  What's her game?

> happy in their place.  Yusaku Otohari struck me as a fairly laid-back
>   
Huh?  When did Ranma learn Otohari's first name?  (Checking previous 
chapter...
oh, okay, Yu gave it to the Queen within Ranma's hearing last chapter.)

> you, so very long.  On that day I fell to my sister and was sealed, and so
>   
Presumably Alieva is a half-sister, with the same father and a
different mother?  While I suppose Gar could have just left
Alieva out earlier, this arrangement better explains why Dasma
would decide to stay, for Gar, and Alieva wouldn't feel the
same need.  And then why Dasma might feel betrayed
by Alieva's decision (if, in fact, she did).

> judge you harshly without also judging myself, my Maidens.  For why do
> I wear this emblem?"  She touched the crescent moon on her forehead
> lightly with the tip of one finger.  "Why am I proud to be Fallen?"
>       
>      "Because," she said, her soft voice carrying effortlessly.
> "Because in return for your devotion, we are obligated to guide and
> protect our followers.  Our duty demands this.  But our cousins forgot the
> ancient covenant between us.  They judged themselves above it.  We who
> rebelled against this injustice, we have never forgotten.  
"our cousins" presumably refers to the non-Fallen gods, then.  And "our" 
is not capitalized,
not a royal "our", so it must really be a plural "our".  So who else 
does Dasma mean?  As
far as we know, her closest relatives among the gods are non-Fallen.

And Dasma's "ancient covenant" is interesting too; I suspect this isn't 
metaphor or
hyperbole, but a real formal agreement.


>      "Maidens, this is my Deitra, daughter of my blood.  You know
> her as Sailor Moon."
>   
Heh.  Now, you've been making a point in this series of saying things 
literally,
but in such a way that your readers take them for metaphor.  We're supposed
to take this for hyperbole, given that we're supposed to believe that 
umpteen
generations came between Dasma and Moon.  Is there a way we could take
this more literally?  Dasma would have to have been either posing as Queen
Serenity, problematic; or been Moon's father, in disguise.  So far, we don't
know the latter to be possible (except, of course, for Ranma :) ).

>      "Usagi, there's only one place I can take them."
>      "Oh, Rei.  Ami will have an EPISODE!"
>      Yes, Rei thought glumly.  She probably will.
>   
Heh.  You can be the most mischievous of authors too, putting
your characters through this.

Not to mention the sheer irony of taking the Maidens to the one
place that was the Senshi's top-secret refuge FROM the Sisterhood
just a few chapters ago.  Heh.

>      "Yes, but what's interesting is the outpost's location.  It was 
> apparently
> built on the ruins of the spaceport at Carnica.  And this Wynneth would
> have had to reach Gaia from the moon somehow ..."
>   
So the spaceport was (barely) functional eight thousand years ago,
then rapidly became ruins.

>      "Maybe.  But in the old tongue, Wynneth translates to 'bringer of
> storms'."
>   
(gasp!)  Wynneth is really Elric's sword?!  I KNEW it!

>      "These are the earliest references I could find anywhere to
> vampires or vampiric lore.  I'm almost certain that there were never any
> stories of vampires during the Silver Millennium, and Setsuna backed me
> up on that."
>      "So she's an ancient vampire," Makoto said.  "She was telling
> the truth."
>      "Not just that, Makoto.  Wynneth may very well be the FIRST
> vampire.  The mother of them all."
>      "Holy shit," Makoto whispered as the implications sunk in.  "But
> ... wait.  Vampires can make other vampires.  If she was first, who made
> her?"
>   
Heh.  The Outsider, of course.  And if this occurred before the Fall, 
when Hotaru
was still alive, and Hotaru became aware of it, this might explain 
exactly HOW
Hotaru became aware of the Outsider at all, when it seems that very few
others, including Hild and Peorth, do.

> name never comes up.  The oldest, most powerful vampire known was
> Demetias, who was thought to be nearly three thousand years old,
>   
So the overthrow of the Genrous took place nearly three thousand years 
ago as well.
Again, a longer duration than I'd thought; you used language early on in 
this story
which seemed to me similar to the way we talk about Rome, not the way we 
talk
about Babylon or Egypt or the very beginnings of Chinese civilization.

>      "You go," Makoto said, standing and extending into a luxuriant
> stretch.  "I'm going to get changed."
>   
Whew!  That's a relief!  (Perhaps a little too convenient?  A touch more
justification for Makoto skipping this might not be amiss.)

>      Makoto headed to her room as Ami went downstairs to find the
> others.  The past few days had been hectic, but Wynneth's absence had
> gone from puzzling to worrisome in Ami's eyes.  It had taken a great deal
> of planning to bring about this new Dark.  If Wynneth really had
> survived for millennia, then she was patient beyond anything they had
> ever encountered short of a goddess.
How about patient well beyond any of the goddesses, given the Voice's
identity as an Outsider?

> the doorway.  "Actually, the Dark Lady made me the new
> Nightmistress."
>      "She.  You.  Did.  What?  Holy hells, woman!"
>   
Heh.  I like the first four words.  I'm not sure the exclamation
really sounds like Ami to me, though.  You might consider
just stopping short, with a description of Ami's blank look
and open mouth.
> at Usagi, who seemed to be choosing her words carefully.  "Usagi?
> Okay, seriously, tell me what you did."
>      "Oh, relax.  I didn't do anything stup ... well, craz ... okay, here's
> the thing.  
Heh.  I like Usagi's honesty here.
>      "Apparently, an aftereffect of the spell released her," Rei told us.
> "Thanks to Garven d'Or and some piece of advanced technology."
>      "Wait.  The Garven d'Or?" Minako asked.
>      "No, just a Garven d'Or," Usagi beamed.  Everybody stared at
> her.  "Well, it was funnier when he said it," she mumbled with an
> apologetic smile.
>   
Heh.

>      "Deidar and Deitra are terms for recognised offspring of the
> gods," Minako told me, still staring at Usagi.  "Sons and daughters of
> divine blood.  Demigods.  Dasma just elevated Usagi to basically being
> her family."
>      "But wasn't she already that?" I asked.
>      "Yeah!" Usagi blurted.  "That was the whole point of ..."
>      "This is different," Rei insisted.  "There are plenty of divine
> bastards running around, although at this point most of them are pretty
> far removed from the source of their divine blood.  But not only can
> Usagi trace her lineage directly back to Dasma, she's basically been
> elevated to the position of being the Dark Lady's daughter."
>   
All else being equal, one might expect the offspring of a god and a human to
be roughly halfway between in power and longevity.  But this sounds like, in
this world, such an offspring is more like just a few percent above human
baseline, especially given what we see Dasma do in this chapter.  Now, why
would this be?  Are the gods' powers not innate, but learned?  Or assisted,
by appropriate technology?

On the other hand, Hild had no problems believing Gar still alive and his
mother simultaneously mortal.  But if demi-gods always have this
much power and longevity, why aren't there more around?

>      The fabric of Aethyr rippled around her as she came through, and
> Dasma fought the urge to grimace at the sensation of gossamer tendrils of
> this place slithering across her skin.  Her kind shunned Aethyr whenever
> possible.
Does Dragon hang out in Aethyr because of this?  Or in spite of this?
> time.  That had been a different time, of course, a time when she'd still
> believed the mistakes that had been made could be undone.  She'd been
> younger then, and headstrong, but she experienced a pang of
> uncharacteristic wistfulness as she realised that she missed those days.
> And the companions she'd shared them with.
>      Nostalgia, she thought ruefully as she banished the garb of
> Dasma the Wild, Coronn's Huntress.  
This might be taken as indicating that the whole "Let's build us a Time 
Gate" thing
was the actual cause of Godswar, idealists out to build it versus 
conservatives.

>      "You speak of Larnis Tia?"
>      "That place was dangerous enough, brooding in sullen madness,"
> Dasma said, fighting the urge to shiver.  "But not only has our ancient
> capital appeared in Saeni, the Elders have done nothing about it!"
>      "Larnis Tia remains inviolate," Dragon rumbled, crossing his
> arms.  Dasma caught glimpses of a metallic gleam under the loose
> sleeves of his dark silk shirt, and along the exposed side of his neck.  She
> could see Gar in the lines of his face, but only in broad strokes.  This man
> would never be the trickster rogue that his son was.  "The border is
> unstable.  Her secrets are safe from mortals."
>   
The Old City, ancient capital of the gods.  That's pretty old.  Was it 
sited here originally,
or moved to Saeni from elsewhere, say "the original home of the gods 
when they
first came to Gaia", Nemesis, during the Long Dark?

>      "I understand what we did," Dasma retorted, mouth drawing into
> a thin line.  "We destroyed the natural balance of this place because we
> were told it was necessary.  We were the last, and this the final refuge of
> all that once was.  I came to believe that we were wrong, Dragon
> Guardian.  That is why I joined the rebels.  
This sounds more like the cause of Godswar as we originally understood it,
but it's hard to reconcile this with the Time Gate business.  Dasma sounds
like an ecologist here, someone who might try to restore the "natural 
balance",
not someone out to build the most radical device imaginable, to risk an all-
of-nothing cure.

>      Frankly, it scared the hell out of her.
>      "Some force was set loose to flow through the planes, Dragon.  The
> same force that set me free has had other effects, whose depth and scope
> are still unknown.  If it could seal AsterGate ... or destroy it ..."
>   
So Wynneth's spell, in addition to everything else it did, did something
unprecedented to AsterGate, possibly destroying it.

>      "Listen well, little godling.  The moment that the Gate was activated,
> they came, drawn by it.  Almost as if they had been waiting.  Almost as if
> they knew.  And the Gate synchronised, not with the past, but with the
> distant future."
>      "They?"
>      "Outsiders," he said, and her blood froze in her veins.
>   
Heh.  And we now have a VERY compelling suspect for the Voice behind 
Wynneth...

>      "They are not as we are," he told her, vague menace radiating
>   
Immaterial?  Could the Voice actually be riding along inside Wynneth?  
Might the
Voice, instead of CAUSING Wynneth's vampirism, actually BE the 
vampirism, like
a disease?

>      Damn!  Dragon was right, this notion of time was seductive, but
> ultimately counterproductive.  Much was awry now, and there was no
> sign that the Outsiders were behind any of it.
Wanna bet?

>      "Deandra Asimov."
>   
Interesting name...  That Illianka knows it at all implies that Dee is 
somewhat
older than other parts of this chapter imply.  Even younger goddesses,
like Dee, were born BEFORE the catastrophe, and elsewhere.

>      "She has severed the Raedenbinding."
>   
She being Wynneth, one presumes...

> being could comprehend.  And what she was saying was impossible.
> Inconceivable.  She ...
>      Illianka's gaze flicked to her, and for one heart-stopping moment,
> it was as though she was looking into the eyes of a living Warden.
> Living and aware.
>      "Run," the Warden said.
>   
Heh.  So now we know why and how Wynneth planned to overcome
the existing gods.  Remove AsterGate, for the vast majority;
release this thing, for the few not in Nikhien.


> wasn't a dark goddess hotline or anything.  I thought about suggesting a
> signal to be beamed into the sky, like Batman's, but I didn't think anyone
> would appreciate the idea.  Or would ever have heard of Batman.
>   
"Look, Mistress!  The signal!"

"Quick, Banri, we're needed!  To the Dasmobile!"

>      "You're enjoying this," Minako said slowly.  "Aren't you?"
>      "Nonsense," Rei sniffed.  "We need Peorth's knowledge of the
> key ..."
>      "You miss doing this," Minako whispered into Rei's ear.  "Come
> on, admit it."
>   
Heh.
>      I watched as Usagi ran and jumped into Mamoru's arms.  She
> kissed him all over is face before settling on his mouth, and I felt my
>   
'his face'  (wow, an actual typo!)
>      "She's a goddess, she was sealed in an Osiren, and her name
> starts with 'D'."
>      Mamoru stared down at her for a moment.  Probably trying to
> figure out if she was joking.
>      "Has Minako been giving you those little bottles of chocolate liqueur
> again?" he asked at last.
>   
Heh.  That must have been some scene, when Minako did that originally.

>      She'd certainly refuse to rest.  Perhaps this distraction wold be the
> next best thing.
>   
'would be the' (another typo!)
> telling you what the situation is.  And if this vamp ends up dead, does it
> really matter ...?"
>      "It does matter," Hotaru said breathily.  "Don't tell me that it
> doesn't matter.  I want to see her.  I want to look her in the eye when I
> ask her ..."
>   
Oh, bad idea.  BAD idea.

> again in this time?  My own mother?  I want the chance to drag the truth
> from her.  I want to know why.  I deserve to know."
>   
Uh, oh, Hotaru's serious about this.  Face-to-face with Wynneth, she's 
going to
delay unleashing her attack.  (It's the bad guys who're supposed to 
delay the final
attack so they can gloat, not the good guys who delay their attack, 
yakking it
up, so the bad guys can sneak in a sucker punch first!)

So much for Hotaru EVER unleashing an attack against Wynneth.

>      "Maybe she wants you to hesitate when the moment comes,"
> Setsuna said, and Hotaru scowled.
>      "I would not."
>      "Truly?  You said it yourself, you want to know.  She's a
> manipulator, and she's playing a game.  She's in your head, Hotaru.
>   
Yep.

>      As well they might.  It was done.  She had sounded the death-
> knell of mortal rule, and ridden its echoes down through the depths of
> reality.  All the way.
>      All the way to the bottom.
>      And now it was done.  All the seals were broken, all the ways
> now unguarded.  She'd stood before that final barrier for only a brief
> moment, but that had been enough.  
So the plan really is to open this sphere to Outside.

> again.  A pair of crows sat on a branch outside the window, watching her
> with avian indifference, and for a moment she wished to be such a simple
> creature as a bird, with few cares beyond the moment.
>   
Heh.

> Gar.  "It's the effect that appeared in the clouds above the palace, just
> before it was destroyed.  Captured by a couple of different sources, that
> one's military."
>      "Then you've already linked it to the events at Terrin Saeche ten
> years ago.  Something not only dug up a place cursed by the Underlords,
> it somehow managed to harness the power those archeologists stumbled
> onto in that old temple and use it as a weapon."
>   
Ha!  Now we know what all that stuff about Terrin Saeche was about!
As I recall, Yu's narrative focused partially on just how WRONG things
felt there.  So the Underlords, even if they're native to Gaia, no longer
register that way to humans living here.  I wonder if humans are native
to Gaia?  Maybe they came here with the gods?

>      "I do know.  It was Coronn who forged Galiraithe, after all, a very
> long time ago.  He forged her from the hull of one of the ships used by
> the gods to come here.
That still doesn't make Galiraithe anywhere near as old as the Key, though.

>   Why?  Well, that I can't say for certain, although
> I have a theory.  There was an incident, you see, one which mortally
> wounded my mother.  Coronn was one of the only survivors of what
> happened, and I think he knew what my mother did, that a great disaster
> lurked in the far future.
Gar's and Dasma's mother bothers me a bit, I find.  She's a dead 
goddess, but one not
previously mentioned in this story.  (Well, she was mentioned, sort of, 
in Chapter 17,
but the reference there to her dying had me thinking she was NOT a 
goddess.  So I
was scratching my head trying to identify a non-mortal non-goddess to 
serve as Gar's
mother.)  It might have been better to have alluded vaguely at some 
point to an
old legend of a slain goddess, who could turn out to be their mother.

>      "It's true," Gar told her gently.  "In some way, Galiraithe is
> aware.  And she knows the True Names of the Underlords.  All of them."
>   
Which also means that someone with possession of Galiraithe would have
the ability to summon the Underlords back to Gaia...

>      "So?  So it should have taken longer.  A lot longer.  Whatever
> force was unleashed at Baniesti, it rippled through the planes.  It did
> something, something subtle but pervasive and bloody powerful.  
Not good.  All seals and barriers really are down.

>      "You're talking about the Orvenpactus," Kendra said at last,
> only a trifle petulant.  Always the apt pupil.  He inclined his head, giving
> her a courtly bow.
>      "Indeed I am."
>      "What's this about?" Raine pressed.  "How does some ancient
> alliance help us?"
>      "Because, Raine my love, I'm getting the band back together,"
> Gar grinned.
>   
Presumably fae, sidhe, and who knows what else.  Dragons?

>      "In the throes of passion, a person is vulnerable, you know.  In
> ways they can't imagine.  I worked her with all my skill, insinuated
> myself within her innermost defences, and laid her soul bare.  Then I
> wove a black spell there.  A trap."
>      "One that you could trigger with your shadow," I said.
>   
Since you've brought this spell up, it has to be used at some point, 
when it would
be considered a legitimate action.  When might that be?  I can't think 
of anything
other than being under a vamp's control, frankly.  Hmm, sucks to be Carlina,
I guess

> Damn, I missed big-league martial artists.  When all this was over,
> maybe it would be time to check out what Saeni had to offer in the area
> of fight-crazy challengers.
>   
Ranma is going to be very disappointed if he ends the story too powerful
for anyone around to offer him a fight.  Say, if his synchronization with
the Key were to increase to 100%...

> and higher.  I didn't fight it.  I needed to go high, higher than the
> Varragor.  Which, as I suspected, wasn't a problem.  It was a lot heavier
> than I was, and I rode the edge of the wind up like an express elevator to
> Crazyville.  I passed the howling monstrosity, enduring the battering
> winds as the tower behind me came into view again and again like some
> weird strobing image.  Not yet.  Not yet.  Not quite ...
>   
I like Ranma's plan, btw.  Very nice scene.
>      "Two are the lock," she crooned.  "And one has the key.  And
> soon the lock shall be opened.
Ranma has the key, and Hotaru is one of the lock.  So what's the deal here?
We don't know who is the other part of the lock, although I suspect Yurina,
personally.  And presumably the idea is to open that Final Barrier at the
"bottom" of things, the door to Outside.  So how do the key, Hotaru's
Omega Soldier power, and some third thing (the Black Rose tattoo?)
interact?

Another wonderful read!  Thanks for writing and sharing!