[FFML] [Ranma] Life is Complicated, Part III
ambket at inbox.com
Sun Mar 9 20:38:42 PDT 2008
Thanks for the feedback!
> From: lurkerdrome at sbcglobal.net
>> "Building codes, master," Sasuke replied. "This is a residential
>> block, and the Neriman government
> Errr...change that to "the city" please? Because the phrase "Neriman
> government" is utter bullshit and reads badly.
I figured Nerima has some sort of local administration (who would arbitrate in the area of things like local building codes), which was what I was referring to, to but I suppose it does sound rather strange the way I put it. I'll fix it in some way.
>> "Would YOU please explain to ME, Kunou-chan," Nabiki broke in,
>> "how in the world you got a dojo AND a brand new house built here OVER
>> NIGHT? I mean, nobody even heard a thing! Not to mention, what
>> happened to the people who lived here before?"
> It's the Ranmaverse. Things get rebuilt overnight all the time, why
> this surprise her?
Well it's not just a 'dojo roof gets magically repaired over night' situation, it's a 'somebody leveled the house right next door and constructed two large buildings in its place, all overnight without anyone noticing' situation. You do have a point though. Perhaps Nabiki wouldn't be as surprised as I've portrayed her.
>> "Well, do bring him in for some desert," Kasumi said,
> "We've got plenty of it, after all. Sahara, Gobi..."
> I really, REALLY hate this character, and I hope she is messily killed in
> short order.
Sorry Emi's not your cup of tea. I suppose in a story where I've idiotically added too many original characters, the likelihood of one of them severely irking somebody goes up with each one. While I'm not sure bloody death would be entirely in keeping with the tone of the story, I hope character development (read: proverbial boot to the head) will straighten Emi out to your satisfaction. She is, at this point at least, very misguided, but unlike Kunou or some of the original cast she's not very funny about it. :P
Drop me a line if you come up with any further insights as to why she's particuarly obnoxious; I'm always looking for angles on minimizing the amount of obnoxious in my stories, difficult though it may be. ^_^
- The Kettle
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