[FFML] [C&C][Was: Ranma OL] Ranma Saotome and the Pirates of the Caribo

Henry Cobb henry.cobb at gmail.com
Thu Jul 3 22:41:46 PDT 2008

On Thu, Jul 3, 2008 at 8:42 PM, Mike Ching <wavehawk.geo at yahoo.com> wrote:
> Seriously, if you have any talent at written comedy (i.e. of the Douglas Adams variety), this idea could really take off.

Sorry, but if I was any good at comedy then the story of the girl with
the amazing ability to summon balloon animals verses professional
soldiers with assault rifles would turn out very differently than
you'll see in a few weeks.

Back on topic, he's a rough draft of how to get Ranma into the mess.

I was in the dojo doing some warm up exercises when Pop walked in.  I
turned to him, ready to spar, but I stopped when I saw his face.

"We're going to have to stay at the Tendos for a while longer boy."

"Why Pop?  Isn't our house ready yet?"

"I'm selling it."

"What?"  I grabbed the collar of his gi, "Did you run up gambling debts

"No, it's your mother.  She's in the hospital.  We're going to have a lot
of bills."

"What did you do to her?"

"Nothing.  She's got cancer."

I dropped him and dropped to my knees.  He'd fooled me plenty of times, but
this time, this time it was too real.

Pop explained everything at dinner then broke down in tears with
Mr. Tendo.  I couldn't take any more of it.  I went up to my room and
started to pack.

"What are you doing Ranma?"  Akane stood in the doorway, "It's okay, you
can stay with us."

"Sure, I'll be back.  I just got to go get something.  A rare herb from the
Amazon, a magic charm from Korea, a doctor from Europe.  I'm sure there's
some way to beat this."

"Don't you dare!"  She ran up and slapped me, "Daddy was just the same,
running all over Japan when all mother wanted was for him to be there for
her at the end.  Stop running away all the time," She turned for the door.

I grabbed her hand.

"What?"  She looked back towards me as she wiped her eyes with her free

"Let's go together tomorrow and see her then,"  I released her.

She nodded and walked away.

The next day I sat and watched mother sleep.  She seemed so lively only a
week ago and now it was all I could do to look at her.

She opened her eyes and looked over at me and Akane, "Ranma is that you?"
She reached out a hand towards me and I grabbed it.

"Yes mother."

"You seem to be getting along with Akane now.  The only thing I wanted to
see before I went was that you'd be happy."

"Don't say that mother."

"I'll be back home in a week.  I can't stay here long, it's too expensive
for my tastes.  Where's your father?"

"He's busy."

He was out on the street downtown juggling next to a sign that said "See
the amazing trained panda" while Mr. Tendo collected donations.

"Oh,"  Mother dropped off to sleep again.

The next day I was sitting in an office.

"You haven't graduated highschool?"  The section chief looked over the
resume that Nabiki had helped me with.

"It's just a few classes Sir.  I can make them up in night school."

"Come back when you have that diploma.  You just not qualified, sorry."

"Thank you sir."

The press of the crowd at street level was too suffocating so I took to the
rooftops as I walked home, that is to the Tendo's.  A few blocks later I
stopped, sat and watched the world go by below me.  Then the dark skies
opened up and it rained.

"Perfect!"  I shifted on the roof ledge as I felt my body shape change
along with my gender.  I got up to continue my way then stopped as I saw a
dark shape on a nearby rooftop.

I ducked behind cover and counted three people.  They were in classic ninja
gear and carried swords.  I followed them then stopped as they looked at a
bar below.

An office lady came out, "Come on Sir, you need to go home,"  She was
dragging a man in a suit out by the hand.

"What?  It's barely nightfall?"  He took a swig from a bottle of sake with
his free hand.  It didn't seem to have been his first that evening.

The ninjas jumped down around them and drew their swords.

The office lady dropped her boss's hand and blocked the first ninja's
strike, but the second one stabbed her through the heart.  The third ninja
swung at the man, but I disarmed him.

The other two came at me and I kicked one sword away and used the breaking
point on the other one to shatter it.  The ninjas fled.

I knelt down to check on the office lady, but she was already dead.

"Wow, those are some smooth moves miss,"  The man took another drink,
"That's the third executive assistant I've lost this month.  Do you want
the job?  The pay's good and the health plan covers your entire family."

"Yes please."

"Fine," He handed me a business card then kissed me on the forehead, "I'll
see you in the morning Dear.  Taxi!"

"What?"  I knelt there for a moment then left.  I'd had enough run ins with
the law already.


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