[FFML] [Naruto]Memories Lie chapters 1-2, the 3rd story arc of People Lie [2nd try]

[croaker at rochester.rr.com]

My first impressions: I liked it, although there were some strange 
twists. 

I kept feeling like I had missed a chapter somewhere between the last 
bit of "Clients Lie" and this, there's a serious disjointedness to the 
transition - and it feels deliberate, on a second re-read, especially 
with the weird mythos tie-ins.

I have to wonder, now, how this Naruto would react to something like 
the Wave Country mission. Seeing in Zabuza's relationship with Haku the 
eventual evolution of his own with Hinata might be the spark he 
needs... or it might just confuse him further. Not sure. And the 
timeframe may not be right, either.

Hmm. Interesting, definitely interesting.

*pokes you with kunai until you write another chapter of 'The Lie of 
Night'*

-- 
"This is the price of freedom: Your last pint of blood, ounce of pain, 
drop of courage. Paid in advance."

----- Original Message -----
From: Kevin Callahan <midn.callahan at gmail.com>
Date: Tuesday, January 22, 2008 3:43 am
Subject: Re: [FFML] [Naruto]Memories Lie chapters 1-2, the 3rd story 
arc of People Lie [2nd try]
To: The Fanfiction Mailing List <ffml at chez-vrolet.net>

> Entirely out of the blue, I will give some feedback when I get off
> work in a few hours.
> 
> On Jan 22, 2008 4:36 PM, The Eternal Lost Lurker
> <lurkerdrome at sbcglobal.net> wrote:
> > > No, no, it's cool.  Like I said, I know you don't owe me shit.
> >
> > However, it IS a good story that I have legitimate interest in. 
> And I have a
> > huge pile of such stories that I just haven't gotten around to, 
> because over
> > the last...call it 8 weeks or so, I haven't really been doing 
> much that
> > involved fanfiction at all. My time has been--and still is--
> largely taken up
> > by efforts to slog through the massive backlog of anime and 
> video games I
> > have piling up.
> >
> > But lately, I have been TRYING to pick my way back into my 
> fanfic backlog,
> > just...easing into it with smaller stuff. :)
> >
> > Anyway...I digress.
> >
> >
> > ================================
> > "Sheik Protein? He's a mean ol' ass, Cid."
> >               ~~*~~
> > The Eternal Lost Lurker
> > www.lurkerdrome.com
> >
> >
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> 
> 
> 
> -- 
> Very Respectfully,
> Kevin M. Callahan
> 
> "It takes strength to be gentle and kind." - The Smiths, "I Know 
> It's Over"
> 
> http://www.kickmagnet.com - Violently Attractive Design
> 
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>