[FFML] Ref: [fanfic][Ranma/MKR] Fire in the Water, Act 2

[Jorge A Pratt]

The Eternal Lost Lurker wrote:
>
> "What's the latest news from our patrols?"

"Farmer Mack lost his cow again, the Chevy brothers were caught vandalizing Presea's outer wall with obscene grafitti, and a drunk Ascot and Caldina jacked one of Mokona's flying dishes and led the Royal Guard on a high-speed chase around Windam's shrine. Captain Hummer just sent that to Cephiro's Wildest Videos."

"Really? That doesn't sound exciting enough for them."

"It wasn't, not until Caldina thought tossing her top at the guards would make a good diversion."
 
> "Not good. The sporadic reports of crops dying and trees
> rotting...it's become more widespread. And now there's some kind of
> plague. Animals are dying, horrible new monsters are appearing...the
> land itself is dead in places. It's getting worse by the day."

You know that's going to cause unrest among the people, which, in turn, leads to more monsters popping up. That's not a vicious circle, that's a downwards spiral.

> "And we still don't have a clue what's causing it. Damn."
> 
> "And the Pillar? Her condition?"
> 
> "Deteriorating. At about the same rate as Cephiro itself.
> There's...not really anything any of us can do. We have absolutely no
> idea what's causing it, nor any way to cure it."

Hm. Who's doing the reporting, here? The dialogue suggests that Clef opened with the request for news, so the way the "And the Pillar?" question is made comes off as insubordinate, or at least not as respectful as it should be.

> A centuries-old mage leaned heavily on his ornate staff, looking out
> the window at the deep blue sky--a brilliant, beautiful, peaceful sky
> which belied the dying land beneath it.
>
> "Perhaps...perhaps this is our punishment for what we did to those
> girls..." 
> 
> *Umi. Fuu. Hikaru. I'm...sorry.*

Well, yeah... but you'd also be a LOT more useful as the High Mage (or whatever his title is) if you went out and _did_ something to help, instead of standing around watching the land deteriorate and bemoaning your fate.

(Not that he was any more useful in the actual MKR2 storyline, but still...)

> 
> ====================================
> 
> FIRE IN THE WATER
> 
> Ranma 1/2 X Magic Knight Rayearth
> 
> a Studio ELL fanfiction production
> 
> Disclaimers:
> 
> Ranma 1/2 property of Takahashi Rumiko, Shogakukan, VIZ
> Communications. 
> 
> Magic Knight RayEarth property of CLAMP, Kodansha, Media Blasters.
> 
> Characters and situations borrowed from or mirroring other series
> copyright the respective owners and used without permission.
> 

Same deal with the uppercase "E" here :)

> ACT TWO

Magic Boogaloo.

> Seven very confused teenagers found themselves freefalling from a
> dizzying height, screaming their lungs out.

Ryouga: Augh! I got lost on a vertical plaaaaaneee!

> After what felt like forever, and with a good distance still
> remaining until a messy and fatal landing, the group impacted a soft,
> bouncy surface. 
> 
> "What the hell just happened?" Ukyou asked, glancing around in a
> panic, hand clutched to her chest to still her hammering heart.
> 
> "What did we just LAND on?" Ryouga asked, picking himself up.
> 
> "It fish. It too too big fish. It flying."

Fyula: *chirping angrily* I'm a Summoned Monster, not a ferry service! I bet Bahamut doesn't have to put up with this. ;_;

> In the distance, a large island topped by an enormous, prominent
> formation of crystal floated serenely in the air.
> 
> Umi gasped. "No...NO!"
> 
> Fuu frowned. "This place."
> 
> Hikaru stared at the distant floating island in shock, eyes wide with
> horror. "We're...we're in Cephiro."
> 
> "Haven't they done enough to us already?" Umi cried. "What the hell
> do they want now?"

Especially so soon (less than an hour?) after reuniting with Hikaru, at that.

> "This is Cephiro?" Akane asked, looking over the edge of the flying
> fish at the land below. "It's...actually really pretty."
> 
> "How the hell did we get here?" Ryouga asked.

Like _he_ should be asking that kind of question :P

> Hikaru gasped. "Look!" She pointed a trembling finger at something
> wavering in the air in front of her. It was faint, distorted, but
> becoming clearer by the moment.
> 
> Akane's heart nearly stopped.
> 
> It was Ranma.

And, as always, it was all his fault.

> Aware of the passage of time if not its measure, Ranma's last coherent
> memory was of speaking to Cologne. Then, he had faded into a grey
> haze of partial awareness. Cut off from his senses, with no idea what
> was going on, he tried everything he could think of to break free, to
> wake up, to...whatever one did when one was in this situation.

Somehow, I figure Akane has more experience in that area. Though I wonder if Hikaru herself had been in that situation while in Jusenkyo/in Ranma's body, or if she just went directly (or almost) from "drowning" to "waking up at Fuurinkan."

> *What the hell's going on?* he demanded. He noticed that something
> was wrong with his voice. Also, he had not actually felt his mouth
> move. Nor could he seem to make any part of his body move. All he
> could do was speak. 

Lacking a body, does he "look down" and "see" himself as a wispy apparition? Or is he a disembodied point of view?

> "You are not a ghost, Saotome-san," one of the unfamiliar girls--the
> one with glasses--said. "We have witnessed this phenomenon before, in
> this land." She assumed a lecturing posture. "Within this world,
> Cephiro, everything relies on the strength of will. Exceptionally
> strong-willed persons are capable of performing amazing feats. We
> have seen such a person, whose body was turned to stone by dark
> magic, communicate by sheer willpower over a great distance. That
> projection was similar to what we are seeing now."

It'd be funny, though... since Clef manifested mostly through Mokona's gem, if Ranma could appear on there too.

> 
> "The explanation may have to wait," Ryouga said. "Looks like we're
> coming in for a landing."

So secure your trays and return your seats to an upright position already. And, Fuu, use of electronic devices is forbidden at this time, so put away your DS.

> "SPIRIT BEAST RECALL!"
> 
> The flying fish disappeared in a beam of light after discharging its
> seven passengers (and one eerily motionless spectre). A diminuitive
> figure in ornate robes approached the gathering, face set in an
> intense, studious frown. "Girls from another world," he spoke. "How
> is it that you have returned to this land?"

Um, did Fyula drop them off at the castle, or at the cliff?

> "That's what WE wanna know!" Umi shouted, storming up to the mage and
> leaning down to shout in his face. "Haven't you and your princess done
> enough damage? What the hell was the point of bringing us back here?"

Wow, unusually restrained for her. All things considered, I'd have expected her to pile-drive him into the ground at first sight. :P

> Clef shook his head. "It is not possible for you to have been
> summoned by any resident of this world. Only the Pillar possesses
> this power, and at the moment..." He paused, frowning worriedly. "At
> the moment, it is not possible for Emeraude to do anything at all. As
> it stands, she is only just alive." 

(...as an aside, although MKR2 can explain who/why/how they were summoned back, it would make for a unique plot device if Emeraude or a similar power had called them precisely to _end_ the Princess' suffering.)

> *I ain't no projec--whatever,* Ranma began to protest. Then,
> remembering Fuu's earlier speech, he added, *Well...I don't think I
> am. I ain't sure what th' hell's goin' on here.*
> 
> "Also, your appearance has changed considerably," Clef noted, studying
> Hikaru.

Clef: *thinking* Yes, _considerably_... H_H

>"I know that in this land, the will determines the physical
> aspect for those of exceptionally strong hearts, but it is not the
> case in the world from which you hail, is this not true?"
> 
> Hikaru sighed. "It's a very long story. This isn't actually my
> body...I died a very long time ago. This is Ranma-kun's body--I'm
> kind of wearing it right now, and we're not entirely sure why."
> 
> Clef's eyes widened. "You're..."
> 
> "Dead, yes," Umi snapped. "And what she went through is a HELL of a
> lot worse than what Fuu and me went through. So if you don't mind,
> we'd like to go home now."
> 
> Clef sighed. "Again, this is not possible, for the only one who
> possesses that power is Emeraude, and..." He paused. "Perhaps it is
> best you follow me. There seem to be a great many things to discuss."

Hmm. Throughout this scene, many paragraphs start with "Clef [action]ed. The weary sigh from various characters is also starting to get repetitive. I suggest shuffling around the paragraph openers and substituting reactions for responses with similar, but not identical, attitudes.

> With Cephiro dying all around them, the Pillar decided to take your
> words to heart, and learn once and for all whether the one charged
> with praying for the peace of this land could also find happiness for
> herself." He bowed his head. "Cephiro was reborn in an instant, more
> beautiful than ever. The happiness and love of the Pillar bled into
> the very land itself. The monsters disappeared entirely from this
> world. Cephiro once again became a paradise." 

Emeraude: D'oh!

> "What happened?" Hikaru asked, genuinely concerned.
> 
> "That will come later. First, I would hear of what has transpired
> since you were last here."

Once again, this should be a barrel of laughs.

> Clef led the group into a large hall within the palace, where they
> were promptly served tea by palace maids. Once the servants withdrew,
> Clef gestured for the Magic Knights and their entourage to speak; the
> next hour was spent explaining the entire situation (including a
> summation of the Magic Knights' first journey to Cephiro for Ranma's
> benefit), Hikaru's fate at Jusenkyo, and the current predicament.
> 
> Once everything was explained, Ranma felt incredibly uneasy, and Clef
> looked extremely concerned.

Hm. The "need-to-know basis" and deliberate leading-on notwithstanding, Clef is usually much more sympathetic than that, and CLAMP depicted him as prone to dramatic overreaction even to less important things. I'd expect him to be genuinely horrified and deeply, deeply ashamed towards Hikaru. Moved to tears, maybe, or random stuttering. The following paragraphs, while they convey his intellectual concerns appropriately, are a bit too cool and collected for him.

> Hikaru gulped. "And...and what happens to me, then?"
> 
> Clef bowed his head and remained silent.
> 
> Nobody spoke for some time.

That's twice you've used that phrase now :P

> "I...I see," Hikaru said at length, voice breaking.
> 
> "Now, allow me to explain the current situation within Cephiro," Clef
> began, standing and walking to the window. "Many terrible things have
> begun to happen of late, and I am afraid this is not an ideal time
> for further complications.

Er, a sudden change of subject ^^;; Again, considering Clef's usual demeanor, I'd have him wallow on his shame and sympathy a little longer before bringing up the plot.

> "During the third week, Princess Emeraude fell into a death-like
> sleep. No healing magic we tried roused her. Zagato has stayed by her
> side the entire time.

Some help _he_ is. Meanwhile, a little elf boy in green robes is working hard to find the Triforce of Courage, all on his lonesome. 

> "Then unless a way can be found to revive Emeraude-hime-san, you are
> essentially saying that we are, once again, fated to die with this
> land," Fuu said.

I wonder if she and Umi would see this as a huge bother, having to help someone they don't exactly like in order to save those they _do_ like.

> "But yeah, that's a good question. Why not ask him to send us back?"
> 
> "That is not within my power," a voice spoke from the doorway.
> 
> Umi and Fuu turned, eyes wide. "Zagato!"

"No, it's just my voice. Having heard what you went through, do you think I'm foolish enough to meet you in person? Outside my Mashin?"

> "You've got a hell of a lot to answer for, pal!" Ukyou cried, marching
> across the room and grabbing the priest by the front of his robes.

Heh! An impressive feat for a sixteen year-old Japanese girl, seeing how Zags could dwarf an American basketball player :P

> "Ucchan! It's...not worth it, really." Hikaru looked at Zagato
> sympathetically. "What he did, he had...his own reasons for, and they
> were not..."

I like how she hesitates in her defense of him. She's still not quite ready to forgive him, sounds like.

> Zagato chuckled mirthlessly. "Girl from another world, you lack
> understanding of the true power of will in Cephiro. For those of
> strong will, that will affects even our very appearance. Master Clef,
> for example, has that dwarfish appearance out of personal preference,
> though he could easily choose to be as tall as a tree. I..."

Style suggestion: "Master Clef, who keeps a dwarfish appearance out of personal preference, could easily..."

> He
> sighed. "The strength of my own will has cursed me in this case, for
> I am so wrought with grief and worry over the stricken condition of
> Emeraude that..." 
> 
> "He has allowed himself to wither," Clef finished.

That's counterproductive. If he really loved Emeraude that much, he'd put all his will into projecting himself as a pillar of strength (er, no pun intended.) Then again, the fact that she's in a death-sleep and can't actually receive his support (or could she?) makes it a moot point.

> "Then...how...?" Hikaru asked. "I mean...when you blasted me out of
> Cephiro..."
> 
> "The spell I cast was intended to erase you from existence.
> Permanently." Zagato sighed.

Ukyou: You're not helping your case, jackass.

> "Emeraude was responsible for your removal from Cephiro, not I."
> Zagato bowed his head. "She sensed what I was about to do, and prayed
> for you to return to your own world. However, because of her state of
> mind at the time, and the desperation with which she made that
> wish...she was not convinced it had worked."
> 
> "It worked alright. Too bad her aim was way off."
> 
> "Like you one to talk, boy who get lost on train."
> 
> "Shut up..."
> 
> Clef coughed.

I don't think the dejected "Shut up..." is needed there. That, or make it an exasperated "Oh, shut up." instead.

> At the questioning looks of the teens, Clef explained, "Since Princess
> Emeraude fell ill, as the land has begun to rot...so has she." He
> sighed deeply. "Parts of her body are dying and turning..." He shook
> his head. "It's best not to dwell on it."

Ow. The Land and its King are One, just like Granny Weatherwax said.


> Clef sighed. "My apologies, but I must attend to these affairs. I
> will see to it that rooms are assigned for you all in the meantime."
> He and Zagato left.
> 
> The seven teens (plus one apparition) exchanged glances.
> 
> "So...what do we do now?"

"Well, this was usually the point where Clef would grant us magic and someone would give us weapons. Anyone see a bouncing fluffball around here?"

> "He was caught by a woodsman in the orchards of Corsica," the guard
> leading them said. "He was pouring something into the river. There's
> enough of it left, we think, to be analyzed."
> 
> "Poisoning the water supply," Clef said, shaking his head. "A
> deliberate act...unthinkable."

"Nothing can beat the music of hundreds of voices screaming in unison!" *tinny laughter*

"...oh, great, it's this clown again."

> The man spat at Clef's feet. "I have forsaken my name at the behest
> of my master. As to why..." He grinned toothily. "The master has
> spread word of the disease that is the indolence of this world. 'A
> world where the will rules all'...feh! The master has shown me the
> truth. This world is controlled by those who have the most powerful
> magic. There is no concept of equality in this backwards society.
> Look at this palace! Why should the few in power live in such
> grandeur, while we, the common folk, toil in squalor? Where is the
> equality? Where is the balance? Where is the justice?" 

Where is the grubby peasant getting his educated vocab? :P

> "And where do we find this...Marquis?" Zagato asked.
> 
> The prisoner laughed. "You have no need to find the Marquis. Soon
> enough, all of Cephiro will know and fear that very name."
> 
> "This is pointless," Clef said, turning and marching from the room.
> Zagato cast one last withering look at the prisoner, scowling darkly.
> 
> Clef froze in place when he heard the man's dying scream. He then
> bowed his head and sighed. *Zagato...*

Er, even if he was unwilling to reveal his master's location, they could have wringed some other info out of him before killing him ^^;; Like, where he got the poison, for instance, and if there were others in his group.

> "Is there anything else of importance about that man I should know?"
> Clef asked the nervous guard waiting outside.
> 
> "Well...we did find a leaf of parchment in his pocket. It's written
> in a completely unfamiliar script." Without waiting to be asked, the
> guard produced it from his own pocket, handing it to the master mage.

"You fool, you've tampered with evidence! Grissom will have your head for this!"

> Clef examined the parchment, brow furrowed. "It vaguely resembles the
> script of Autozam, but..." He shook his head. One small, thick finger
> traced a seal embossed in wax in the corner of the document, a circle
> inscribed with overlapping triangles, as well as symbols along the
> edges which had become smudged and illegible.

"Funny, reminds me of Ascot's summoning circles..."

> When Zagato finally caught up, Clef
> 
> shot him a look of admonishment. "Was it absolutely necessary to kill
> that man?"

This one wasn't Outlook's fault. I caught it in the RTF file too.

> Clef sighed. "I suppose it makes little difference, in the end." He
> handed Zagato the parchment. "Is there anything familiar about this?"
> 
> The priest frowned, studying it, then shook his head. "No, but
> perhaps if it were analyzed thoroughly..."

Idle thought: Zagato's references to "analyzing" stuff make me consider whether Cephiro has any sort of scientific culture. Beyond Middle-Age farming technology and whatnot, I mean. Given the world's inclination towards magic, I keep thinking of a squad of wizards gathered around all this evidence and trying to conjure out clues from it.

> "When...when I thought I was alive again somehow, I..." Hikaru looked
> up at the two girls. "I was happy. I...I wanted to see Umi-chan and
> Fuu-chan again, and my brothers, and Hikari..." She wiped at her
> eyes, sniffling. "I...guess nothing's changed though, has it? I'm
> still..." 

;_;

> "Hikaru-san, please do not do this to yourself."
> 
> "Yeah! Maybe Clef isn't as smart as he thinks he is!"

For one thing, he's completely unfamiliar with Earth magic :P

> Hikaru shook her head. "No...I'm convinced Clef is right. I don't
> belong here. I...sooner or later, I'll have to give Ranma-kun back
> his body, and then that'll be that..." Her head dropped into her
> hands, and her shoulder shook with silent sobs.

Well... it does raise the question: what about all the other people/animals who fell in the spring?

> Across the room, the motionless image of Ranma hovered with Akane,
> Ukyou, and Shampoo. The four of them watched Hikaru and her friends.
> Akane cried silently. "Hikaru...she deserves better than this," she
> said, sniffling. 
> 
> "I agree," Ranma replied softly.

"I agree" rather than "Yeah" from Ranma?

> 
> The four of them stood lost in their own thoughts for a time.

Good thing Ryouga wasn't present. He'd have ended up in Shampoo's thoughts somehow.

> 
> "Aw, dammit, he's lost again!" Ukyou growled, frustrated.
> 
> * * * * * * *

Meanwhile...

"Who might thou be, to enter my abode without permission?" asked a giant wolf seemingly made of fire.

"Uh, I'm just a guy from another world...?"

> Rounding a corner, he spotted a partially-open door on his right, and
> decided to duck inside, hoping someone would be able to guide him. He
> found himself in a vault-like chamber full of racks upon racks of
> weapons: swords, spears, axes, bows, staves, flails, maces, and for
> some reason, a large, old-fashioned cannon.

Uh-oh...

> "Must be the armory," he mused aloud. He took a cautious step further
> inside, momentarily forgetting his bladder crisis out of a sense of
> wonder. "Some pretty nice stuff. I wond--"
> 
> *SNAP-THWIP!* Something tied itself around Ryouga's ankle, and before
> he knew what was happening, his feet were yanked out from under him,
> and the world was suddenly upside down.

...and his bladder gave out.

> "OHOHO! An intruder!"

Oh noes! It's the S&M Queen of Cephiro!

(Or her sister, depending on continuity.)

> "A likely story! Now, shall I stretch your neck until it pops? Or
> maybe I should poke splinters under your fingernails, or..." She
> paused, tilting her head. "Or maybe we can try something really--"

Oh, she's going to have FUN with those daydreams when she finds out he transforms into a small, edible, piglet...

> "My apologies," Ferio, a green-haired, tanned, scarred youth with
> golden eyes and clad in an ornate white uniform, extended a hand to
> Ryouga to help him stand. "You arrived with the Magic Knights, did
> you not?" 

I only have experience with the Mexdub, so... is Ferio really that formal?

> "That's right," Ryouga replied.
> 
> Presea gasped. "The...the Magic Knights? They have returned?"
> 
> Ferio nodded. "They arrived just two hours ago, along with several
> guests from their world."

They liked Cephiro so much, they brought friends!

> "Hey, y'heard? Them Magic Knight gals're back."

...and, having since watched _other_ characters with Kansai dialect, I'm suddenly seeing the role of Caldina played by Osaka.

X_x

> Ferio, Ryouga, and Presea greeted a duo walking from the opposite
> direction; a tall, dark-skinned woman with long, bouncy pink hair and
> entirely too little clothing for Ryouga's comfort,

...and entirely too bouncy _youknows_ for his comfort...

> and a small boy in
> ornate robes, whose shaggy brown hair obscured his eyes from view.
> The latter was hovering on a jagged chunk of rock which had numerous
> small pebbles rotating around it. 

Aaa, I see that the divergent timeline got to him too. Is he his usual, pre-MKR2 self, or did Umi and Fuu's terrible experience (and Hikaru's death) affect him somehow?

> Some time had passed, and more to have anything better to do than sit
> around brooding, the Magic Knights and the group from Nerima

They need a group name. Something like "The Property Destroyers."

> As they talked, a small white creature bounced into the room. Akane
> was the first one to notice it: a fat, rabbit-like creature with a
> silly, happy face and a large red jewel on its forehead.

And looking awfully smug, too.

> "Aww, how cute!" Akane cooed, motioning the creature over. "Look,
> everyone!" 

"Dinner!"

> The others glanced around, and the Magic Knights gasped. "Mokona!"
> 
> "PUU!" Mokona cried, bouncing happily over to the group. "Pupupupupuu
> pupuu!"

*whips out Pokedex*

[Mokona: An insufferably cute Bag of Holding with a mysterious secret. Do not feed after midnight. Its natural enemy is blue-haired fairies, and it likes to nest in the bosom of young girls.]

> "Mokona..." Hikaru repeated, eyes misting over.
> 
> Mokona glanced at her, tilting its head. "...puu?"
> 
> "It's me! Hikaru!"
> 
> The rabbit-creature hopped backwards, seemingly startled. "PupuPUU?!"

"It cannot be! I watched you DIE!"

> "Puuuuu..." Mokona seemed to recover from its shock, and leaped for
> Hikaru, who caught it easily, nuzzling its face with her cheek.

All things considered (as in, that being female-Ranma nuzzling Mokona)...

@_@

> "So what the heck IS that thing?" Ranma asked.
> 
> Mokona glanced up at the source of the voice. "Pupuu?" Hopping out of
> Hikaru's arms, Mokona examined Ranma's floating projection, then

ate it.

> Mokona bounced high into the air, landing right on Umi's head. Hikaru
> giggled.
> 
> Akane laughed. "I think he likes you, Umi."

I still say Mokona's a "she" :P

> "Mokona-san enjoys teasing Umi-san," Fuu replied.
> 
> Voices drifted in from the doorway. "--sorry about before."

"But I just couldn't hold it in any longer and that potted palm was RIGHT THERE..."

> The Magic Knights' eyes widened as the group with Ryouga entered the
> room, one at a time. "Ferio-kun!" Hikaru cried joyfully.
> 
> "Ascot! Caldina!" Umi called,

"I saw you DIE!"

...oh, wait, wrong characters.

> recognizing the next two who entered.
> To their relief, she didn't seem angry to see them.
> 
> Then, the last member of the party walked in, and the Knights gasped,
> eyes wide in disbelief.
> 
> "PRESEA?!"

OK, yes, I guess that settles the continuity :P

(And now I wonder: Innova? Brainwashed Lafarga?)

> 
> An array of beakers, tubes, and flaming devices lined a large table,
> smoke and steam spewing in various directions. Above it all, Clef
> stood on a pile of books, directing the devices with magic while
> perusing a tome, frowning. 

"...add two spoonfuls of sugar, and a pinch of cinnamon..."

> After over an hour of study, he'd finally completed his analysis of
> the poison the traitor had used, and it was not pleasant.

"Aaargh! I never understood chemistry. Now, alchemy, that's more my style."

> With a deep sigh, he snapped the book closed and set off to deliver
> some unpleasant news.

When it came to cooking, he could never be as good as Mama.

> * * * * * * *
> 
> "Presea..." Hikaru said softly, eyes full of tears. "You..."

"I saw you d--"

> "Hikaru? Is...is that truly you?" Presea asked, tilting her head.

"I thought YOU d--"

> "More importantly, we saw you die! I mean--" Umi paused, glancing at
> Hikaru. 
> 
> "Looks like there's a lot of that goin' around," Ukyou quipped.

...........

> "Ukyou!"
> 
> "Sorry."

^_^;

> Fuu suddenly found the tips of her boots very interesting. "Y--yes,
> that is true. It is...good to see you again, Ferio-san."

"...stupid, selfish relatives notwithstanding..."

> "Emeraude's younger brother, yeah." Ferio sighed. "I remembered some
> time back. My memory had been sealed away when I was younger."
> 
> "So...you, without knowing why, were fighting so hard to save
> Emeraude-hime-san..."

"Makes you feel really silly now, doesn't it?"

> His eyes traced the parchment taken from the subversive terrorist once
> again, then tightened in anger.
> 
> A war. Someone wanted a war with Cephiro. And they were using
> subversive lies and deception to turn Emeraude's own people against
> her. 

While I see why it's used, I'm not sure about repeating "subversive" so close after its first instance.

> "This cannot be allowed," Zagato said softly, standing from Emeraude's
> bedside. As he rose, his appearance shifted and blurred; the thin,
> worn appearance he had projected since the Pillar's collapse fell
> away like a shroud, and a flare of black light heralded the
> reappearance of his imposing black armor.
> 
> Dark eyes alight with anger and the promise of vengeance, High Priest
> Zagato strode purposefully down the corridor, ready to begin an
> entirely new war for his beloved.

o.o

Scary.

> "The traitor we interrogated earlier," Zagato explained, "carried a
> piece of parchment we could not immediately identify. In the process
> of examining it, I learned that the seal inscribed upon the parchment
> is some sort of summoning circle. My deduction is that this circle is
> the means by which the poison, and possibly other tools to assist in
> this insurrection, are transported to this land."

At which point, Ascot's knowledge of such things should come in handy.

> "Can potentially cause extreme damage to this land, and to the
> Pillar," Zagato finished, clenching a gauntleted fist. "Whoever this
> Marquis is, he has made it possible for the weaker-willed citizens of
> Cephiro to unbalance and distort our world, regardless of their magic
> or ability. They need only use what he has provided."
> 
> "Death by dumbass," Ranma paraphrased. "Wonderful."

*facefault*

> "Is there anything we can do to help?" Akane asked.
> 
> Zagato shook his head. "I'm afraid the responsibility for ending this
> lies with our army. We must search the whole of Cephiro, and destroy
> every document bearing the Marquis' seal. And, if necessary, arrest
> those possessing them."

Is there even an army, though? Cephiro's "peace" with the Neighboring Countries is maintained by the Pillar's ability to keep invading forces at bay, and what little armed forces there are belong to the Royal Guard. I see how there could be some minor force to patrol the land for dangerous monsters, but a bona fide army?

> "It just doesn't feel right, sitting around doing nothing," Akane
> said, frowning.
> 
> Ranma summed up the others' thoughts succinctly:
> 
> "Man, this blows."

*facefault*

Fuu: *strained* Ranma-san, try to be more polite.

> Thick clouds of smog roiled over the grimy, densely industrial city.
> A crowd gathered in the central plaza, voices raised in varying cries
> of excitement or protest. Banners and signs waved across the square;
> at the center of everything, a group of soldiers stood at attention
> at the front of a raised dais. A podium towered above them, draped in
> crimson tapestries bearing the sigil of the country's ruler.

And Emperor Ghestal proclaimed war against the Espers.

> The cheering and jeering rose in intensity as said ruler strode from
> the doors of the government headquarters, through an honor guard, and
> stood behind the podium. A man with short dark hair, dark, sharp
> eyes, and roguish, handsome features, he did not dress overly
> differently from his soldiers: a severely tailored and pressed deep
> crimson uniform with onyx buttons and piping, highly polished black
> boots, and white gloves. The only significant difference to his
> attire was a black armored bracer on his left wrist, adorned with a
> deep blood-red gemstone. 

(You do know, having learned his identity beforehand, I thought that the "blood-red gemstone" was SOMETHING ELSE entirely.)

 
> "This will not be an easy road, my people. There will be much
> bloodshed and many sacrifices along the way. Our neighbors will not
> be as welcoming of my rule as you have been. However, this I promise
> you: all who follow my path, all who march along the road to supreme
> victory, all who uphold the superiority of our way of life--you shall
> know glory under my reign. This is a time of change, a time when men
> who were as nothing can become as kings, even as gods! Follow me, and
> the path to Heaven itself will lie before you!" 

...somehow, his speech reminded me of the one Vayne gave at the beginning of FF12.

> The man behind the podium swept the crowd with a penetrating gaze,
> then raised his left hand. With a loud, grinding sound, a row of
> three tall stone torches ascended from the rear of the platform.
> 
> "Three neighboring lands. Three great battles. Three fires of hope to
> ignite our spirits."
> 
> He snapped his fingers, and the first of the three torches burst
> aflame. 
> 
> "One of my comrades has already taken Chizeta."

And Cho-Aniki fans worldwide wept bitter, manly tears.

> A figure wreathed in shadow faced off against two irate, armed
> princesses. A hand emerged from the darkness, gripping a massive
> sword. The blue gem embedded in the black steel gauntlet the invader
> wore gleamed darkly. 
> 
> "Blauer Schlag," the dark figure intoned.
> 
> Before they had a chance to react, Tatra and Tarta, rulers of
> Chizeta, were encased in a thick wall of ice, faces frozen in twin
> masks of horror. 

Translation plz ^^

> Winds heavy with the stench of blood stirred at hair, clothes, and
> grass in the courtyard of a grand, elegant palace. The usually
> beautiful, pristine garden was strewn with the corpses of masked
> shinobi guards. 

To be fair, it's not as if Fahren's ninja were anything but faceless mooks.

> The intruder sighed deeply. "If that is your choice." The jet black
> katana that had spilled the blood of many loyal Fahren citizens
> lowered, and the intruder raised his left arm. The emerald jewel on
> his gauntlet flashed brilliantly.
> 
> "Grünes Vakuum."
> 

Traducción, porfa ^^

> "The groundwork has already been laid for the third and final step on
> our path to glory. Within the week, we will launch a full-scale
> invasion of the country that poses the greatest threat to our
> superiority. 

(Again, all things considered,  I wonder if the veil that separates Earth from Cephiro is similar to that _other_ veil between worlds, and if they'd try to conquer Earth if the opportunity presented itself.)

> "Our final objective, my great and noble people: Cephiro."
> 
> Stunned murmurs spread through the crowd. Slowly, scattered applause
> broke out, eventually raising into a great cheer.
> 
> Far above the plaza, standing on the tallest rooftop in the capitol
> city, four figures exchanged weary glances.
> 
> "We have to warn them."

Oooooh.

Oooooooooooh, I wanna see how one of those reacts to the still-ongoing Pillar System. :P Especially since an innocent party suffered dearly because of it.

Will part 3 go the way of the original, and imbue everyone with magic? I dunno if you have anything special planned, but I feel it'd be more fun to let one or two of the NWC tear things up naturally by their own means, kinda like Ferio, Caldina, or Lafarga.

Later!

-- 
Jorge A. Pratt