[FFML] [C&C] [Ranma] Life is Complicated, Part II

[Ambulatory Kettle]

((Okay, I sent this earlier, but it doesn't seem to have posted to the list.  Tryin' again.))

Ooh! Feedback! Thanks!  How did I miss that?  Probably by not checking my email regularly enough. :P  This prompts me to post Part III (yes, it's done).  I'll do that shortly.

> -----Original Message-----
> From: lurkerdrome at sbcglobal.net
> Sent: Wed, 16 Jan 2008 10:16:14 -0600
> To: ffml at chez-vrolet.net
> Subject: [FFML] [C&C] [Ranma] Life is Complicated, Part II
> 
>> (Hakama: often defined as a "gentleman's divided skirt," the legs
>> of hakama steadily widen as they go down, leaving them very loose around
>> the ankle -- think "samurai pants.")
> 
> This aside was jarringly out of place and not especially necessary. If
> you
> feel the need to explain a term, do it in the footnotes at the end of the
> chapter.
> 

Yes, I worried about that.  Despite my inevitable uses of expression like "Chikusho!" I am attempting to write my story to be a little more reader-friendly to the layperson than the average anime fanfic-reader would deem necessary (I'm fairly certain that one of my prereaders woud have absolutely no idea what hakama were had I not explained it).  I'll consider bumping the note to the end.  Hmm, or better yet, I'll put a note about it at the beginning of Part II.

Thankfully, I don't think I've written any more asides like this.  Feel free to call me out if you find any in later installments though.

>> "Well, looks like you know how to land after a fall.  Ucchan, is
>> it?"
>> "That's UKYOU-SAN to you, jackass!"
> 
> "Kuonji-san", I should think. Even "Ukyou-san" would be too informal,
> especially given her general dislike of this man and the entire
> situation.
> 

Excellent point; the sort of comment that makes me go, "Oh, duh -- why didn't I realize that myself?"

Well, I'd better fix these things before I forget, or get distracted by shiny objects or something.

____________________________________________________________
FREE 3D EARTH SCREENSAVER - Watch the Earth right on your desktop!
Check it out at http://www.inbox.com/earth

____________________________________________________________
FREE 3D EARTH SCREENSAVER - Watch the Earth right on your desktop!
Check it out at http://www.inbox.com/earth