[FFML] [fanfic][Sailormoon] Moonshadow, chapter 13 (first draft)

David McMillan skyefire at skyefire.org
Mon Dec 15 04:56:28 PST 2008

The Eternal Lost Lurker wrote:
>>> "Really. That spiritual garbage is the best you can come up with? How
>>> utterly foolish!"
>> Hm.  I don't recall Rei's miko powers being this useless in canon.
> We left canon behind a LONG-ass time ago :P

	I keep forgetting....

>>> "Yes, Venus, nice to meet you, save it for later, we've got to help Mars!
>>> Fast!"
>> Heh.  You could just about leave out the commas in that sentence...
> Well, the one after 'Yes' is a comma splice, but the rest of them need to be 
> there or the sentence would read very strangely.

	I was thinking more of Luna talking fast enough that the commas kind of 
fell by the wayside.

> Luna IS a youma, remember? You didn't think there wouldn't be more than one 
> demon panther running around, did you?

	I did, actually.  Not that I ever stopped to really *think* about it.

>>> "--or we're gonna skin us a couple of cats!"
>> They're *tag-teaming* the Senshi Speech!  Oh, my HEAD....
> Usagi and Mina get a little...silly in tandem.

	*Little*?  <checks sarcasm meter>

> Venus' attacks are going to be a running joke. She's the only native English 
> speaker among the Senshi, so naturally she's the only one whose attacks get 
> Engrished to hell and gone.

	Oh, poor Mina.

>>> One of the panthers had reappeared, covered in bleeding gashes and 
>>> limping
>>> badly on one leg. "Or did you forget why you came--BEHIND YOU!"
>> Luna's looking worse for wear.
> Getting rolled down the shrine steps by a broodsister at full strength will 
> do that.

	Ah.  I had forgotten that Luna's not running on all cylinders, what 
with Art keeping on a leash and all.

>> Secondly... BWA!?!?  Team Nemesis?  Wow, you're squashing *all* the
>> seasons together.  Next we'll find out that Beryl is actually Galaxia or
>> soemthing.
> Actually, no. Moonshadow is only going to deal with two story arcs: Dark 
> Kingdom and Deathbusters. The use of the Ayakashi Sisters' names for the 
> shadowbrood is more or less an Easter egg, since I have absolutely no 
> intention to use any characters or plot elements from Sailormoon 
> R--ESPECIALLY Chibiuseless.


More information about the ffml mailing list