[FFML] [fanfic][Sailormoon] Moonshadow, chapter 13 (first draft)

David McMillan skyefire at skyefire.org
Mon Dec 8 14:22:41 PST 2008


The Eternal Lost Lurker wrote:

> Something dark loomed in the centre of the courtyard, and the cries of the 
> ravens grew in volume and intensity. planting her feet firmly, Rei began 
> moving through a series of hand seals. "Rin. Pyou. Tou. Sha. Kai. Jin. 
> Retsu. Zai. Zen--"
> 
> "Oh, *shut up*, you ridiculous creature!" a voice hissed. Something heavy 
> and black slammed into the priestess, sending her sprawling.
> 
> "Really. That spiritual garbage is the best you can come up with? How 
> utterly foolish!"

	Hm.  I don't recall Rei's miko powers being this useless in canon.

> Rei rose to her knees, wincing in pain. "What...foul manner of..."
> 
> "Demon? Yeah, that pretty much sums it up." The shadows around Rei coalesced 
> into the form of a great black panther, its crimson eyes blazing with unholy 
> fire. It bared glistening fangs at her in a feral grin. "I haven't had a 
> nice juicy human in a *looooong* time," the creature purred. "I hope you 
> don't mind...I like to play with my food."

	Oh, dear.
	<later> well, my first thought was the Artemis sicced Luna on Rei in 
order to force her activation (which seems like something he's capable 
of in this version).  But the truth is even stranger....

> "SERENITY!" a voice roared from the shadows. "WE'VE GOT A SERIOUS PROBLEM!"
> 
> Mina shrieked and jumped several feet from the swingset as a massive black 
> panther descended in their midst, crimson eyes trailing flames. "The hell!?"
> 
> "Luna, what's going on? I can feel..."
> 
> "LUNA?! *THAT'S* LUNA?!"

	Then I thought that Art was pulling an illusion or something....

> "Yes, Venus, nice to meet you, save it for later, we've got to help Mars! 
> Fast!"

	Heh.  You could just about leave out the commas in that sentence...

> The demon suddenly roared in pain; the roar was mixed with loud, angry caws 
> and croaks. The pressure of the panther's breath left her; Rei chanced to 
> look up, and saw the beast clawing at the air, head swinging to and fro 
> blindly. The two ravens she cared for were fluttering around the demon's 
> head, scratching and pecking and screeching.
> 
> "ENOUGH!" the monster roared, and its eyes opened. Jets of angry red and 
> black flame lashed forth, entrapping the birds; they began screeching in 
> pain and anger, wings beating madly as they struggled. The demon leapt high 
> into the air and batted at them with a savage claw; the crows pitched 
> through the air like a volleyball, landing with a sickening thud in Rei's 
> lap.
> 
> She stared, horrified, at the battered, broken bodies of the two ravens. 
> *No...you...to protect me...no...*

	...oh, crap.  This cannot *possibly* bode well.  And if there's anyone 
who could be turned into a WMD by sheer guilt, it's Rei....

> "I never did like poultry," the demon snarled, shaking its head angrily. 
> "Now, where were we..."
> 
> "They died...for me..."
> 
> "And you'll join them very shortly."
> 
> "They...for me..."
> 
> The demon advanced, slow and menacing, eyes blazing.
> 
> A very different sort of blaze began to stir within the core of the young 
> miko. A warm, invigorating heat, a fire more pure than any water. She lifted 
> her head slowly, eyes smouldering as she beheld the evil, unclean *thing* 
> before her...

	Charbroiled pussycat, coming up.

> A second panther appeared in a shadowy blur, slamming into the first one and 
> sending it flying across the courtyard.
> 
> Rei blinked.
> 
> "Are you injured?" the new panther rumbled.

	Ah.  So, real-Luna shows up to deck Art's fake-Luna-- no?  Oh....

> "I...what..."
> 
> "WHO DARES..." The first panther had risen to its feet, back arched angrily. 
> "I WILL KILL--" The demon's enraged snarl cut off abruptly, replaced with 
> confusion. "--broodsister?"

	...bwa?	

> The second panther crouched low, eyes flashing crimson. "So. My broodsisters 
> survived the Fall."
> 
> The first panther padded slowly closer, Rei all but forgotten. "No...it 
> cannot be..."
> 
> "BEGONE, WRETCH!" Yet another demon panther appeared from the shadows, 
> tackling the second panther around the neck with massive forepaws. The two 
> beasts rolled away and down the temple steps, yowling and hissing.

	I think I need a scorecard.

> Rei could only stare in uncomprehending shock.
> 
> The original panther shook its head. "My my, what a crowded place this 
> becomes. Perhaps I should finish my meal before we are interrupted again..."
> 
> "STOP RIGHT THERE!" two female voices chorused.

	"I GOTTA KNOW RIGHT NOW!"
	(sorry, it's just... that line forced me into a "Paradise by the 
Dashboard Light" flashback)

> "Oh, what NOW?!" the panther snarled, glancing around...

	I actually sympathize.

> "This is a Shinto temple, not a zoo! There's no place for you here!" one of 
> the Senshi called out.
> 
> "Yeah, and didn't you see the 'no feeding the animals' sign?" the other 
> added.
> 
> "You've got about two seconds to go back to whatever circus you escaped 
> from--"
> 
> "--or we're gonna skin us a couple of cats!"
> 
> *This...has to be a nightmare. Or one of the hells I have not read about...*

	They're *tag-teaming* the Senshi Speech!  Oh, my HEAD....

> "The only thing you're eating tonight is CRESCENT MOON!" Golden ponytails 
> fluttering like gymnasts' ribbons, Serenity descended from the torii like a 
> wrathful angel, a shining sliver of silver energy spinning away from her 
> outstretched hands. The panther leapt nimbly away, and the attack gouged a 
> deep crack in the pavement.
> 
> "A little light for my tastes," the panther said with a purring chuckle.

	What, no "tastes like green cheese" joke?

> "Then here, try the next course! LOVE MACHINE!" The second Senshi mirrored 

	O_O

> her partner's leap, one hand extended; a steady stream of glowing 
> heart-shaped projectiles erupted from her finger at high velocity, tracking 
> the moving demon and leaving a trail of chips and gouges in the ground.
> 
> The two Senshi landed side-by-side, dropping into combat stances. The 
> ponytailed one turned to the other and asked, "'Love Machine'?"
> 
> "It just came out that way, okay?" the orange-skirted Senshi replied, 
> blushing furiously. "I think you buggered up my attacks when you Awakened 
> me."

	Leave it to Usagi....

> "Will you two PLEASE GET SERIOUS?!" a voice snarled from the shrine steps. 
> One of the panthers had reappeared, covered in bleeding gashes and limping 
> badly on one leg. "Or did you forget why you came--BEHIND YOU!"

	Luna's looking worse for wear.

> The warning was only a half second too late, as yet ANOTHER demon panther 
> appeared, slamming into the two Senshi and sending them skidding face-first 
> across the courtyard.

	RING OUT -- FATALITY!

> "NO!" The injured panther tensed, flinching in agony. The other panthers, 
> all uninjured, converged on the two fallen Senshi, circling, prowling, 
> tensing for the kill.
> 
> The Senshi with the long golden ponytails glanced up, and locked gazes with 
> Rei. Spitting blood from between her lips, she rasped out, 
> "Awaken...Senshi..."

	The ensuing fireball was visible from Mars (coincidentally enough...).

> Hino Rei's world became an inferno.

	"Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme that which I desire--"

> =-------------=
> 
> Luna's gaze shifted nervously from the two fallen, surrounded Senshi, to the 
> priestess, who had just risen to her feet as though in a trance. Whose body 
> was slowly being engulfed in a pillar of white-hot fire.
> 
> Whose forehead shone with a burning red sigil.
> 
> Wasting no time, Luna produced a gleaming ruby-red bangle, seized it in her 
> teeth, and used all her remaining strength to leap to the newly awakened 
> Senshi's side. She tossed the bracelet high into the air. It flew in a 
> graceful arc, straight into the blazing inferno.
> 
> A hand shot out of the flames, catching the bracelet neatly and rapidly 
> snapping it in place.

	One-handed?  My, how flexible.

> A voice rose over the roaring of the flames...
> 
> "MARS POWER, MAKE-UP!"
> 
> =-------------=
> 
> The three demon panthers paused in their slow prowl, tensing, hackles 
> raised. As one, they turned, hissing, to the new source of danger they felt.
> 
> Serenity and Venus gingerly rose to their feet, watching the youma warily, 
> yet not taking their eyes off the blazing fire which had erupted just metres 
> away.

	Metres:  Brit spelling?

> The dead bodies of two ravens, broken and forgotten on the cold, hard 
> ground, burst into flames, and were consumed within seconds.

	...oh.  Dear.  I'm not sure that's a good sign.

> The flaming pillar contracted, whirling brighter and hotter, rings of 
> orange-red pulsing upwards along the blinding yellow-white heat.
> 
> And as quickly as it had been summoned forth, the fire was snuffed as though 
> it were a candle.
> 
> A female figure, curled in a foetal position, slowly stretched to full 
> height. Her feet, clad in glossy red high-heels, did not touch the ground. 
> Her red miniskirt flared about her hips in a nonexistent wind, which 
> likewise stirred the violet bows attached to her Senshi uniform. Long raven 
> hair fanned behind her, cascading neatly over the centre of her back.

	Centre:  more Brit spelling?

> As she looked up, her violet eyes locking gazes with the Senshi and the 
> youma, two great, black-feathered wings burst forth from her back, spreading 
> wide.

	O_O  that's new.  Something do do with Deimos and Phobos, I bet.

> With two powerful beats of her wings, she moved closer to the rapt, 
> wide-eyed audience.
> 
> "Upon my right, I bear Fear. Thou who strivest to cause Fear in others, I 
> now control thine own. Upon my left, I bear Dread. Thou who bearest with 
> thee the Dread of death and suffering, I now control thine own. Look upon me 
> now, and Fear me. Look upon me now, and Dread me. I am Mars..."
	
	Wasn't it Fear and Terror?  Although I suppose there's more than one 
way to translate the names of the Hounds of Mars.

> A bolt of swirling flames emerged from her right hand, coiling into the 
> shape of a blazing fiery sword.
> 
> "...and I am come to destroy thee."

	At this point, smart youma RUN!

> =-------------=
> 
> "Now see, THAT was a good entrance," one of the panthers rumbled softly. 
> "You girls should take notes from your friend."

	Instead, they play Statdler&Waldorf.

> "Wh...what in the...?" Venus asked, staring in wide-eyed shock. "...Rei...?"
> 
> "You know her?" Serenity asked.
> 
> "Yeah, she's my best mate from school...and she's *MARS*?!"
> 
> Luna coughed pointedly. "Girls? Not out of danger yet."

	I do love how Luna keeps pulling these "Ahem, *reality* calling"  moments.

> The two Senshi remembered their situation, and leapt clear of the circle of 
> demon panthers, coming to rest alongside their newest ally.
> 
> "Nice wings," Venus commented. "Hey, how come she gets wings? I didn't get 
> wings."

	That is just SO Mina...

> "I don't know," Serenity replied.
> 
> Mars' head snapped around, her violet eyes crackling with barely-restrained 
> fury. "I bear upon my back the weight of guilt, the guilt of my sin of life. 
> I bear as my cross the souls of the angels, the angels who gave of their 
> life that I might live."

	...oooookay, *that's* not healthy.

> Serenity blinked. "Um...okay?" Aside to Venus, she whispered, "Does she come 
> with subtitles?"

	<faceplant>

> Venus was just staring at Mars in utter disbelief.
> 
> "I believe the power of Mars absorbed the souls of the two crows that died 
> protecting her," a calm voice spoke from above. "Which became those lovely 
> wings."
> 
> Serenity looked up at the figure standing on the temple roof. "Artemis-san!"
> 
> "Your Highness," the mage replied politely, inclining his head. He frowned. 
> "Well, this is quite a party."

	For some reason, I keep hearing that line delivered the way Jeremy 
Irons did his "My, *somebody* had *fun*" at the scene of the Big Wall 
Street Explosion in "Die Hard With a Vengeance."

> Mars had risen high above the youma, which were crouched low, watching her 
> warily. Her sword of fire spat sparks into the air, and her wings beat 
> slowly, ponderously.
> 
> "Enough," a new voice intruded.
> 
> A blonde man in a grey uniform appeared behind the panthers. "Beruche, 
> Karaberas, Petz...withdraw. This night shall not be ours."

	First, it's "blond" (no e) when referring to guys, IIRC.
	Secondly... BWA!?!?  Team Nemesis?  Wow, you're squashing *all* the 
seasons together.  Next we'll find out that Beryl is actually Galaxia or 
soemthing.

> "As you command, Lord Jadeite," the lead panther rumbled. Its unholy crimson 
> gaze bore into the fourth youma, who now stood beside the Senshi. "Traitor," 
> the demon hissed.
> 
> "The choice was never mine, but I now do what I must," Luna replied.
> 
> "As do we," the youma snarled. "But know this: side against your 
> broodsisters again, and you WILL die, Cooan."

	And that completes the set.

> The panthers vanished into the shadows. Their master remained for but a 
> moment, eyeing the Senshi, the lone remaining demon panther, and the mage 
> calmly. He then bowed. "Well met. I anticipate future engagements...which 
> will not end in withdrawal. Fare well until then, Senshi."
> 
> Then he, too, was gone.
> 
> Mars lowered herself to the ground, folding her wings behind her. Her sword 
> extinguished itself, and she turned to face the others.
> 
> "An explanation would be welcome," she said primly.

	From psycho to prim in zero seconds flat.  *Why* do I think this is 
*not* a good sign?

> "A whole LOT of explanations," Venus corrected, arms folded. She glanced at 
> Serenity, Luna, and Artemis in turn.
> 
> "I warned you it might get messy," Artemis offered lightly.

	I can't tell is Artemis is doing a Xanatos Roulette, or if he's just 
*faking* being in control of everything that's going on.





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