[FFML] [fanfic][Sailormoon][C&C] Moonshadow, chapter six (draft)
The Eternal Lost Lurker
lurkerdrome at sbcglobal.net
Sat Sep 8 10:59:12 PDT 2007
> > But she served a master whose will was much stronger. She had her
> > and had been forbidden from doing anything to draw undue attention to
> > herself.
> I actually thought this was Luna until another C&C corrected me. Only
> Lurker could pull off Luna as a youma.
Heh. Nah, I've seen very youma-like treatments of Luna before. There's one
fanfic out there where Luna is very, very bitchy, and "motivates" Usagi by
threatening to claw open her guts, rip out her liver, and wear it as a hat.
> > the entire school--for good, or for ill."
> small nitpick: the ending of Chapter 5 left me wondering exactly WHY
> she was running from Kanzou. My first impression was that he was some
> sort of Yakuza she had insulted.
That was kind of the point. :)
> > Makoto fixed the vice-principal, whose face had turned very pale, with a
> > steely, penetrating gaze. "I became a whore. A twelve-year-old whore.
> I have just read an infodump that actually had me on the edge of my seat.
> Dammit Lurker, you need to start doing this professionally!
I've been trying for years. The problem is, the ONLY thing I can write well
is fanfiction. ;_; Every original idea I've ever had, I couldn't get past
one chapter of before I gave up on it as a bad job.
> > Tugging at the lapels of her magenta blazer and smoothing down her green
> > plaid skirt, Mina walked through the gates to begin her first day of
> > in Japan.
> Isn't that the same uniform Haruka & Michiru wore when they debuted?
> > Fortunately, she had contacts to handle this kind of situation, and by
> > end of the day, would be enrolled in a new school.
> That implies a lot more options than she had in canon? How much can she
> DO with these contacts?
Well, she can keep herself enrolled in school and living in an apartment on
her own despite being 14...
> > *God I hate my life.*
> I would have liked a scene where she jumps up, screams "THAT'S IT! I'VE
> HAD IT!" and starts kicking the guys ass.
> Unfortunately, it would screw with the pacing.
Actually, I *had* planned to go somewhere else with that scene, but decided
to just leave it the way it was.
> > "Class," the teacher said, "This is Mr. King. He will be assisting me in
> > English lessons together for the rest of the term."
> Not Artemis (Minako would recognize him)
> Not Mamoru (BLOND hair)
> Haruka? Only if Lurker flipped the gender switch. (No way would this
> version of Japan allow for cross-dressing teaching assistants.)
I will say nothing at this time. ^_^
> > She hissed, closing her eyes. Her pimp. *Just perfect.* With a
> > groan, she picked up the phone and hit a speed-dial button.
> > //Motoki speaking.//
> That's twisted, man. Very twisted.
I know. XD
> > "I'm...not a Christian," Rei interrupted, face bowed. She seemed
> > almost...ashamed? "I...I just find the Bible interesting. And things
> > to it."
> This interest was inspired by her father, Gendo.
> > "BESIDES ME!" the cat hissed.
> That's ALMOST as funny as Chibi-Usa greeting Hotaru in 'Sailor Moon:
> Crystal' (also written by Lurker)
> > "Jupiter Power, MAKE-UP!"
> Final analysis: This is rapidly becoming Lurker's second best work.
> The best being Sailor Moon: Crystal by a HUGE margin (read it NOW). The
> 'infodump' he complained about weeks earlier actually came out better
> than he wants to admit. The overall feeling of this story is something
> that's more 'real.' than the canon. The cast has to deal with real life
> and sometimes its as bad as the monsters. The villains aren't
> two-dimensional cutouts, some of them end up being 'four-dimensional.'
> Throughout the fic, he covers details that the anime and manga never
> touched on.
*bows* Glad you're enjoying it. :) Chapter seven may be a bit in coming
because I've been very under the weather lately and have been trying to
catch up on some reading/other stuff. But it's...well, give it a week at the
This is a test of the Emergency Ass Dance System.
The Eternal Lost Lurker
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