[FFML] [Teasers][Various] What Happens After Three Goons in Eva
rick_spiff at yahoo.com
Thu Sep 6 10:26:57 PDT 2007
Just some stuff we've been working on. Notes below.
[La Blue Goon]
"This place... is weird."
"It can't last long. But I should remind you that many of our insults
are invitations here. Just have fun, relax, it's like Vegas. What ever
happens here, will stay here, and then die when we blow up their moon
and crack their world in half."
"You said it was an accident!"
[Real Goon High School]
"AH! We're teenagers again! I hated being a teen!"
"No booze, no tittie bars..."
"No gun lisence..."
"This is all your fault! I hate this panty-shot wanne-be-action anime!"
"Looks like we have a K-Fight starting between the new students!"
John grunted towards the hastily put up sign. Andy jumped over to slap a
large sticker over the first letter.
"What? A G-Fight?"
[Three Goons in I, My, Me! Strawberry Eggs]
"And if all else fails I've still got half a bottle of chloriform, a
roll of duct tape, and a nondescript car with a roomy trunk."
"That wasn't funny Andy."
"Who said I was trying to be funny?"
She stood as tall as she could, a petite 4'10", and posed heroically
and dramatically. It was a very effective pose and made it obvious
that a Japanese girl that small should not possess a chest that big.
Even more bizarre was the otherwise striking similarity to Hotaru
Tomoe, aka Sailor Saturn. Her outfit was close enough to the senshi
uniform, short skirt, over-all sailor theme, the apron was a new touch
"What," began Shin, barely containing a rage, "are you doing?"
"Posing." Hotaru said, striking another glamorous position.
"In that outfit." Shin clarified.
"Oh. VG is a Martial Arts tournament. I'm a martial artist. Therefore I
will tour it."
"I see." Shin was calming down. Talking was a good way to do that. This
wasn't the best person to talk to for calming one's nerves, especially
if you took things seriously, but talking was still nice. "And the real
"What would I have to do?"
"Power up fully. You need to be at maximum power when I take the
"I only reach my maximum when I'm fighting, it's not something I can
on and off. And not just fighting, I'd have to be pushed to my limits."
John sighed, "And in spite of all my precautions, I end up in a fight
handful of M&M's. Fine, give me a few days to get ready, then we'll
"I might be out of M&M's by then."
"Then put the rest of these in a bag and save them."
"You really want these M&M's."
"Any fool with five bucks can get a bag of M&M's, I want _your_ M&M's."
stood up, "So, I'll see you... Friday?"
"I have to assualt a bowling alley on Friday, how about Saturday?"
"He's a professional! He's been trained by the best! He's fought the
best! He's not going to dress like a ninja and drop from the nearest
tree screaming 'Rei Hino, prepare do die!' swipe at you with a katana,
and then run off. Are you prepared to catch sniper bullets fired from a
mile away? Can you out-run an explosion? What about identifying traps of
inumerable types in your home and along your common routes?"
"Well... no. But what can we do to fight an enemy like that?"
Jared was still on his kick though. "You have to be prepared for
anything. He's going to use every trick I taught him and invent a dozen
more. He's going to plot and plan like there's no tomorrow. He's going
to come up with traps so complex you can't even imagine! He's going to
poison food. He's going to--"
Andy, dressed as a ninja, dropped from the nearest tree, screaming "REI
HINO, PREPARE TO DIE!!!" He took a swing at the priestist, which was
blocked by a frowning Jared, then backed off.
"CURSES!" Andy swore, waving his hands in pattern both complex and
meaningless. "NINJA VANISH!" A series of 'whooshing' noises and a flurry
of shadows later, and the katana-wielding psycho was gone.
"--try every damn trick in the book... in completely random fucking
order?!! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO ACCOMPLISH?!!"
"RANMA NO BAKA!"
The Saotome in question came rocketing down the stairs chin first,
ricocheted off the floor, then the far wall, and landed squarely on his
head next to Jared.
"Whoa, dude. What'd you do, take the batteries out of her vibrator or
[But any mention of Goon 1/2 wouldn't be complete without...]
John took note of his comrade's trajectory. "Jared, you really
What emerged looked almost like a copy of Hotaru Tomoe of Sailor Moon
fame, but wearing a plug suit five sizes to large and hauling around a
rack that no fourteen-year-old should posses. "D-cup! YES!"
"... Give me your gun."
"What if you kill him?" Andy asked, handing over the firearm even as he
John's voice dripped with horror. "What if don't?"
Anime these stories take place in should be obvious from the titles.
Every story represented here is either done or in progress.
Also, this list isn't even complete, and there's a whole other file full
of teasers for Goon-related stories we aren't even working on.
Yes, I've been holding out on you guys.
May the beatings commence.
(no, not really)
Rick "Sacrifice a dictionary; please the writing Gods." Spiff
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