[FFML] [Naruto][AU] People Lie
mdemouy at mindspring.com
Wed Sep 5 13:00:52 PDT 2007
This does work rather well, and is well executed. Given your skill in handling the subject material I encourage to proceed as you have.
I don't agree with Pale Rider's assessment that getting betrayed again wasn't believable. Naruto's persona is modified into a more... robotic format but it's not like he's actually "paranoid" about people. His apparent cockiness and setup were sufficiently well put together it is certainly believable he wouldn't have spotted a problem. As a matter of fact I can't see how without author's caveat he would given the established stable personality.
Said material is not something I see executed so well usually, and given the permutations on series such as Ranma I fail to see why the series matters when this author has chosen Naruto and can handle it well enough.
Good job. I have no real suggestions at this time beyond that it may not have been that good of an idea to have Naruto get so easily handled by Mizuki. Given this difference between this Naruto and the canon one that could easily come back and bite you in the butt.
More information about the ffml