[FFML] [For the love of ... why repost this?] [Fic + "Bonus"] [Eva] Asuka's Dark Secret

[Confusing Manifestation]

Wow. Thanks to the new FFML search engine, I managed to dig up all the
crap I wrote to this list many years ago, including this one which I
only posted as "Anonymous Author". Funnily enough, I got a little
positive feedback from it - and no negative - so I figured I'd dredge
it up and repost it. Oh, and if anyone is interested in any more
"bonuses" like this, send me a private email. I've been busy the past
few years ...

ConMan

Asuka's Dark Secret
An Evangelion Spamfic and Bonus by an Anonymous Author, now revealed
as Confusing Manifestation (ConMan)

"Tadaima!" called Shinji as he opened the door to the apartment that
he, Asuka and Misato shared.

After waiting for a few seconds for someone to reply "Okaeri!", he entered.

'Strange,' he thought, 'I know Asuka beat me home today. Where is she?'

'He walked up to Asuka's bedroom door, but lacking the spine to knock
he merely listened in for any hint of why she didn't hear him come in.

"... buttermilk, then freeze, ..." came the unmistakeable
German-accented voice over some fairly loud music.

'Oh, she probably couldn't hear me over the music,' thought Shinji,
who wandered over to the kitchen to get something to eat before
starting on his work.

A few minutes later, Asuka came out of her room, looking as hot and
bothered as ever, albeit slightly pleased with herself - in other
words, her normal smug self.

"Oh, Shinji," she said. "I didn't hear you come in."

"I know. I ... I listened at your door and I heard the music so I
figured you didn't hear me over it."

"You did what?" cried Asuka, enraged. Then, slightly curious, slightly
worried, she asked, "Did you hear anything else?"

"Well, I heard you talking about buttermilk and freezing, so I guessed
... I guessed you were working on a recipe or something."

"..."

Momentarily speechless, (a rare condition for Asuka), she quickly
recovered. "Er ... yes. Yes, I was trying to remember an old German
recipe for, for ... ice cream. Yeah, ice cream."

"I didn't know you could just freeze buttermilk without stirring it."

"Oh ... well, it's been a while since I last made it, see?"

"Oh, I hope you remember it. I-I'd like to try it."

"Sure. If I can remember it." 'Phew!'

That evening while doing his homework, Shinji eschewed his SDAT in
favour of listening to the music coming from Asuka's room. Then a
thought struck him about their earlier conversation. He went up to
Asuka's room, firmed his resolve, knocked and entered.

"Asuka?"

"Eeek! Get out!"

Having rapidly exited Asuka's room and flattening himself against the
wall outside until his heartbeat and breathing returned to normal,
Shinji paused to consider what little he had seen. Asuka had certainly
been fully dressed, unlike that incident with Rei, so why did she
react so scared? In fact, Shinji seemed to remember Asuka wearing a
considerable amount of clothing, including ... a hat with a large
brim?

Curiosity overcoming his normal sense of self-preservation, Shinji
braved Asuka's room again.

"Asuka, I'm sorry I barged in, but I can't see why you ... Asuka?"

Shinji was justified in his confusion, as the person in front of him
still sported the red hair tied into ponytails and other Asuka-like
features, but was dressed in a white blouse, red skirt, leather
jerkin, boots reaching up to her knees and, yes, a cowboy hat.

"Asuka, you mean you ... that music ... " Shinji stammered.

Asuka sighed. "Yes, Shinji, I'm a closet line dancer."

Asuka Strikes - the Line Dance
Song: 'Asuka Strikes' from Eva OST1
Choreographed by: Anonymous Author (ffml-anon at mail.com)

Beats: Steps:
1,2 Step forward on right foot, rock back onto left foot.

3&4 Coaster Step: Step back on right foot, step together with left foot,
step forward on right foot

5,6 Step forward on left foot, rock back onto right foot.

7&8 Moving slightly backwards and turning 180 degrees counter-clockwise,
shuffle left, right, left.

9,10 Step forward on right foot, pivot 180 degrees counterclockwise.

11&12 Shuffle foward right, left, right.

13,14 Step forward on left foot, pivot 180 degrees clockwise.

15&16 Kick right foot forward, step together on ball of right foot
lifting left heel slightly, change weight back on to left foot.
[NOTE: Right foot is already forward, so just straighten the knee]

17-20 Buttermilk x2: Twist heels out, in, out, in.

21-24 Frieze w/ turn: Step fright on right foot, step left foot behind right,
step right on right foot turning 90 degrees clockwise,
touch left foot beside right.

25-28 Step left on left foot, touch right toe behind left,
step right on right foot, touch left toe behind right.

29-32 Step forward on left foot, pivot 180 degrees clockwise,
step forward on left foot, scuff right heel forward (leaving weight on
left foot).

Repeat dance 90 degrees right of start.