[FFML] [Naruto][AU]Clients Lie chapters 1&2 (sequel to People Lie)

[Bastion]

Nuggar wrote:
>Hmm, first time I sent this seems to have gotten lost in the shuffle,
>so here's attempt two.
>
>
>I actually had a lot of this written back when I posted People Lie,
>but took my sweet time posting it for whatever reason.  Enjoy.  As
>always, comments and criticisms are very welcome.
>
>And, somehow, in the time since I posted People Lie, I've forgotten
>how to best send this to the list and keep my formatting intact.  So
>if this looks like hell, sorry.

Don't worry, formatting has been a bitch to me and several other posters.  For the most part, the formatting wasn't distracting.

As for the story, I like where you're going with this.  I'll be the first to admit that I really don't like Naruto, but your version is so much more grittier and more what you'd expect from ninjas, a bunch of ambitious, power hungry, cold individuals.  I think this is a great logical progression from People Lie and it shows how disturbingly effective a cross dressing Naruto is.  Though I'm still waiting to see how Naruto's childhood trauma is going to effect his sexual identity.  I mean you can see that train wreck coming a mile away with the way Naruko is going.

I also like how you've wrapped Sasuke up in this little power struggle as well as the disturbing possiblities of how Naruto is going to take advantage of Hinata.  I get the feeling that Naruto isn't above having Hinata try to seduce Sasuke.  

Also, I think you played off the humor very well considering the seriousness underlying the entire chapter and made it play well into Naruto's facade.  It just makes him all the more frightening and makes him truly an anti-hero if that's ultimately his true goal.  However I think Naruto's path is only going to get darker and I think he's more likely to become of the one bad guy's lackeys (I can't bring myself to look his name up right now) like Sasuke did in the canon.

I do have one question though, the whole episode with the saltpepper is lost on me.  Why exactly did Naruto do that and why saltpepper?  It didn't seem the old man was trying to have any more kids or anything.

Anyway, great story and I enjoyed reading it.  Here's hoping to see more of this in the future.

Bastion