[FFML] [C&C] Goddess Fayu

Timothy Groves groves_ca at yahoo.co.uk
Thu Jul 19 04:54:17 PDT 2007


The Eternal Lost Lurker wrote:
> Jan Ken Pow: The variant in which the first one to punch the others in the
> face wins.
>   
Did I spell it wrong?
> It helps that Kasumi has the same divine blood, no? Because otherwise,
> mortals can't even see those...
>   
That was sort of what I was getting at. I just don't care to spoon-feed 
my readers.
>> Urd paused.  "We're not sure where exactly we're gonna have Nabiki
>> working, but I know she's got the qualifications for most of the jobs
>> we've considered.  Probably, she'll be in our Accounts Payable
>> department, but you never know."
>>     
>
> I shudder to think what "Accounts Payable" entails for Yggdrasil...
>   
Handing out wishes, of course!

>> Belldandy considered.  "No, I think we've done enough teleporting
>> today."
>>     
>
> *SNRK*
>   
And everyone thinks that Bell is perfectly nice.
>> "Oh, that is easy to explain."  Belldandy smiled.  "You see, we're
>> Goddesses."
>>     
>
> *FACEFAULT* Oooookay, so this is TV series Belldandy all of a sudden. X_X
>
>   
Possibly. Though she's just as bad in the OVA. However, the fact that 
these are her sisters will likely make her even less likely to try to 
cover up the truth.

>> Akane shook off the surprise, and grinned.  "An android, huh?  Skuld's
>> cooler than I thought."
>>     
>
> Considering how far out of her realm of experience a robot is, Akane's
> taking this awfully calmly.
>   
Combat trance. All that would filter into her brain is that she has to 
change tactics. Though you're right, some kind of reaction would be 
expected.
>> Akane regarded her warily.  Rather than leading with her left hand,
>> Sigel was now leading with her right.  *Did I damage her internals?
>> No--she's out of power on the right fist!*
>>     
>
> That's a little too technical for Akane's internal thoughts. Might work
> better like this:
>
> *Did I break something?*
>
>   
Good call.

> That was a fun read, but I'll be honest: it seems
> somewhat...well...pointless, to have it just abruptly end like that. I do
> get the impression you're probably planning a sequel to this, because it
> just seems to me that there's so much more to be done with this idea. As it
> stands, though, while it was fun to read, it just...didn't go anywhere.
>   
Others have noted this as well.  You are correct, there is a lot more that I plan to do with this - I have the outline for the second part (not really a sequel, but a continuation) halfway done.

Thanks for writing.

-- 
Homepage:  http://www.tailkinker.net
ICQ:       66022322
eMail:     groves_ca at yahoo.co.uk




More information about the ffml mailing list