[FFML] [Ranma] [Alt] Death And Rebirth

[Peter Gallagher]

See the main problem I have with your stories is that though they have
potential, they have no development, no style.  Everything happens too
quickly.     It seems more like you're writing a summary for a story
rather than the story itself.   I'm sure you read fanfiction; you
kinda have to to be subscribed to this list.   Do you see a difference
between what you're doing and what a good writer like say, DB Sommer
or Ozzallos are doing?  Because I certainly do.  Note that even a
oneshot, unless it's a crackfic should be longer than this.  This
probably didn't even hit 500 words let alone 1000.

How did Kasumi learn those moves?   Why did Akane decide she was a
lesbian?  What exactly happened?  That's the story.  This isn't.
Character development and plot involve the story.  Please take this
advice and flesh out your stories a bit more before posting them here.
 They aren't worth reading otherwise.

On 7/4/07, Cute Neko Hibiki <nekohibiki at comcast.net> wrote:
>
> This is something of mine I came across when checking out an old external
> harddrive of mine. I had forgotten I even wrote this thing. I decided to
> post it and see what you all think.
>
> ---
>
>
> Disclaimer : "Here Disclaimer!" *Whistles* "C'mon boy!" *Claps hands now*
> "Come here Disclaimer!"
>
> Disclaimer : Ranma 1/2 and its characters do not belong to me, but to
> Takahashi Rumiko and it is copyright 1987, 1995.
>
> Publishing rights :
>
> Japan :              Shogakukan Inc. Tokyo
> Hong Kong :          Jademan (Holdings) Ltd.
> North America :      Viz Inc.
>
>
>
> Death And Rebirth
>
>
>
> A Ranma Oneshot
>
> By
>
> Cute Neko Hibiki
>
>
>
>     As I stare on the final night I think back at how it all started.
> It started when we discovered the Temple Of Immortality. We all went looking
> for a cure to the Jusenkyo curses, but we accidentally summoned a Demon
> instead. The Demon almost destroyed us but we defeated it. Ranma was
> incredible in that battle. When I thought the Demon had killed him that was
> when I realized that I truly loved him. I attacked the Demon by focusing all
> my negative emotions and letting go a super charged Ki blast. The Demon
> never stood a chance. When it was destroyed the true Power of Temple
> awakened and gave us all the gift of Immortality.
>
>     We would never grow any older and we would never die. I was so glad
> that Ranma had been Healed. I finally told him how I felt. He was very
> surprised and didn't know what to say. I knew that he loved Akane but I also
> knew that Akane didn't love him. I also thought that he didn't love me.
>
>     Imagine how surprised I was when he kissed me. He then told me that
> he loved me too.
>
>     It took some doing but eventually we wound up married. Akane finally
> admitted the truth that she was a lesbian. She and Ukyo decided to live
> together. Ryoga and Akari were soon married. Father and Miss Hinako also got
> married. Shampoo said to hell with the damn Amazon Laws and went back to
> China with her husband Mousse to live. Cologne said that she disowned them
> from the Amazon Tribe and they were free to do what they wanted now. Mr.
> Saotome and Mrs. Saotome got back together. As for my sister she married Dr.
> Tofu.
>
>     And now all this time later we watch as the last light fades from
> the Universe. It is gone now and there is nothing left but a Void. Using the
> Powers we have gained over the millennia we concentrate our energies and
> will the Light to explode.
>
>     There is a blinding flash of brightness and the new Universe is
> born. All 51 of us look at the new Universe we have created. We are the last
> surviving Humans anywhere. It will take time but we will create new planets
> and races to fill them.
>
>     I sense my husband approaching and say "My Ranma. I love you."
>
>     He says, "I love you too My Kasumi."
>
>     It is truly a good day to be alive.
>
>
>
> ---
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-- 
"Evil is merely a perspective, one which is no longer of concern to me."