[FFML] [AYA] The Wild, Wild East - Chapt. 6 - Whitewater Waffing

[David McMillan]

GL Sandborn wrote:


> The list is back!  I guess I'll submit something.

	YYYYEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
	Long live the FFML (again)!  Arm C&C Chicken Cannon!  All batteries,
stand to and prepare to deliver commentary!

> [This has some... eh, 'almost lemon' parts.  So, beware.  ;-) ]

	<rubs hands, cackles evilly>

> **********************************************************************
> 
> This story has been written without the knowledge or approval of Kou
> Fumizuki - Hakusensha/ AIAO Project and Pioneer Animation. It is for
> the enjoyment of Ai Yori Aoshi fans and written with respect for its
> original creators and copyright holders.
> 
> **********************************************************************
> 
> 
> The Wild, Wild East
> Chapter 6 - Whitewater Waffing

	I'm going to take a wild guess and say that's not a misspelling of
"waffling," which would put a whole different spin on things....

> by GL Sandborn
> 
> 
>     Friday morning, Kaoru Hanabishi stopped in before his regular
> classes to see Professor Isemoto.  Despite Tina's disappearance, he
> tried to keep to a regular schedule.
>     "Ah, Hanabishi, what brings you here so early?" Professor Isemoto
> said as Kaoru entered his office.
>     Kaoru held up his research book.  "Just wanted to check in with you
> before I finished the last of your research project."
>     The Professor chuckled and waved a hand in an embarrassed way.  "I
> suppose I should have told you earlier but the conference has been put
> off a month," he said.  "There's no real hurry now."

	<dry> and he's known about this for *how* long, I wonder?

>     "Oh, well, I suppose that will give me time to check everything
> again," Kaoru replied, tucking the book under his arm.
>     Professor Isemoto leaned back in his chair, ignoring its loud
> squeak as he did, and reached for a large envelope.  Taping its edge on

	"Taping"?  Is he using Scotch, masking, or duct tape?

> his desk for a moment, he appeared deep in thought.
>     Kaoru's eyes went from the envelope to the old man's face, unsure
> of what he was pondering.
>     "Damned lot of nonsense," the professor muttered before dropping
> the envelope on his desk like it contained bad news.
>     "What is, sir?" Kaoru asked, not certain he really wanted to know.
>     "Oh, it's just something the Dean sent me," the professor replied
> with a heavy sigh.  "The university is supposed to send a representative
> to some overblown affair across town.  All the universities are sending
> someone.  Since the Dean is going to be away on business, he gave the
> invitation to me with instructions to find a suitable person to attend."

	"Across town."  Given that we're talking about Tokyo here, that could
be quite a ways.

>     Kaoru relaxed at the news.  "Is that all?" he said more to himself
> than the professor.  "Shouldn't be too difficult.  The department has
> several prominent professors who would be excellent representatives for
> the university."
>     "You would think so, wouldn't you?" the professor said with another
> chuckle.  "The fact is, everyone I've asked is already scheduled this
> weekend."

	Yeah, all those sock drawers *really* needed rearranging.

>     "Even Professor Maeda?"  Kaoru couldn't believe the most senior
> member of the school's Economics Department - a man who had more awards
> to his name than all the other professors combined - couldn't find time
> to attend an important local function with other academics.

	Which says something about this particular event, I'll bet.

>     "Ah!" the professor exclaimed with a snort.  "The old coot said
> he's too busy with his next book to grace them with his presence."  The
> professor leaned forward.  "If you ask me, he's planning on taking that
> stupid dog of his out to his summer place for the weekend.  While the
> rest of Tokyo is fawning over whatever empty suits show up at this
> function, he'll be napping on his front porch."
>     "Well, he is entitled to a little free time, now and then," Kaoru
> said.  He wasn't surprised that Professor Maeda would want some time to
> himself at the age of seventy-five.
>     Professor Isemoto just grunted again.  "If I don't find someone
> soon, I'll have to go myself.  My wife has plans for me this weekend, so

	Lawn work, hedge trimming, whitewashing that fence AGAIN...

> that will be difficult."  With a sigh, the professor seemed resigned to
> his fate.  "I hate this trying to corner some poor sap into spending a

	Suggest dropping "this," or maybe "I hate this: trying..."

> day listening to boring speeches and practicing their small talk with
> people who define the very essence of the 'Peter Principal'."
>     Kaoru chuckled to himself.  "I can't say I envy your task,
> Professor."

	Kaoru is forgetting the *real* reason grad students exist....

>     Isemoto eyed Kaoru in a strange way.  It caused Kaoru to feel a
> slight chill in the air.

	Yep.  Called it.

>     "How's that girl of yours?" Isemoto asked with eyes narrowed as if
> he had something in mind.
>     "Aoi-chan?  Oh, she's just fine," Kaoru answered, tucking a hand
> behind his head and laughing aloud.
>     "I suppose she's got plans for you this weekend."

	Run, Kaoru!  RUN NOW!!!

>     "No, not really.  She's doing something with her family, so I have
> all weekend to..."  Kaoru's voice tapered off as he suddenly realized
> what the professor was getting at.

	*Just* too late.

>     "My, my, all alone with nothing to do," Isemoto said with a tiny
> smile that grew just enough to cause Kaoru to go from chilled to a
> sudden sweat.  "Hanabishi, you are one of the best students we have in
> this law school."

	Huh!  I never knew he was a law student.
	Deny it, Kaoru!  Go into Humility Mode!  Point out all the other
students who have better scores and *also* have no life this weekend...
oh, nevermind.

>     Kaoru swallowed before answering.  "Thank you, sir."

	Plan B:  Take It Like A Man.

>     "So!" the professor exclaimed, slapping a hand on his desk hard
> enough to cause Kaoru to flinch.  "It's time you started meeting the
> right people in a social setting."
>     "I appreciate the offer, sir.  I mean, I agree that I need to start
> socializing more but the fact is,... uh,... I don't have anything to
> wear to such an event."  Kaoru congratulated himself at coming up with
> such a clever dodge.

	Yaright.  Like that trick ever works.

>     The professor's smile grew.  "That's not a problem, Hanabishi."  He
> pulled out a small pad of paper and started writing.  "You just take
> this down to Mr. Takano's shop just off campus and he'll fit you in
> appropriate formal wear for the occasion."
>     As Isemoto held out the folded piece of paper for Kaoru to take, a
> thought occurred to the young man.  "Sir, I can't afford--"
>     "Don't worry, the university will pay for everything," Professor
> Isemoto said with a broad smile.  "It's the least we can do for our
> official university representative."

	It's like watching a car cut off a mouse's escape routes, one by one...
	Does K at least get to *keep* the suit afterwards, or is it just a rental?

>     "Are you sure about his, sir?"  Kaoru hesitantly took the paper.

	His what?  ITYM "this"

>     "Of course.  You'll make a fine envoy," Isemoto leaned back in his
> chair again, causing it to squeak even louder than before.  "You'll fit
> right in.  I've heard that even Tokyo University is sending one of their
> top graduate students - along with some overpaid gaijin professor."

	I have a weird feeling I should be making a connection here, but it's 
not happening.

>     "Oh," Kaoru said, looking at the paper.
>     "Just stand in the back and act interested in whatever blather you
> hear, shake a few hands, drink some lousy fruit punch, and duck out in
> time for dinner.  Speaking of which..."  Isemoto rummaged through his
> top drawer before finding what he was looking for.  Holding out another
> envelope, he smiled again.  "I won this at a raffle last week.  It's
> good for two free meals at that new French restaurant up by Hibiya Park.
> I hear all the big-shots from the government show up there from time to
> time.  It's a perfect place to be seen with a pretty girl, Hanabishi."

	Somehow, this conference (or the restaurant) is going to end up with 
Kaoru getting shot at, kidnapped, arrested, or all three.  I just know it.
	Either that, or Tina and Steve will show up, and *then* K will get shot 
at, kidnapped, and/or arrested.

>     Kaoru couldn't believe his luck.  He'd been thinking about taking
> Aoi-chan out to someplace nice but never felt like he had enough money.
> It wouldn't look right for her to pay the check, even though she
> probably carried around with her enough money to treat everyone at the

	Mmmm... maybe "...though she could probably treat everyone at the 
mansion just out of her regular pocket money..."

> mansion.  "Thank you, sir," Kaoru said with a respectful bow.  "I'll do
> my best to represent the university in a dignified manner."
>     Professor Isemoto dismissed Kaoru with a wave of his hand and a
> relieved chuckle.  "I have no doubt you will, Hanabishi."

	Doomed.  Unless the Uni ends up looking good b/c their representative 
manages to accidentally stumble his way into looking like a Bondish 
action hero (Steve needing to stay covert, after all).

>     Outside the office, Kaoru couldn't contain his curiosity.  He
> gently opened the invitation and pulled it out of its envelope.  An
> embarrassed smile grew as he read where this special event was to take
> place.

	The same place that Aoi was supposed to be attending that 
family/zaibatsu gig at?

>     Tina woke to a smell of smoke.  Blinking her watering eyes, she
> coughed and tried to cover her nose with the futon comforter.  There was
> a fire somewhere in the mansion.  Judging by the amount of smoke, it had
> to be a big one.

	Steve:  "Tina, that's my shirt."

>     Crawling out of her bed, she headed for the door on her hands and
> knees.  Every gulp of foul air caused her to choke as she slowly made
> her way to the relative safety of the hallway.  As she approached her
> door, the smoke seemed to billow up around her, choking off what little
> breathable air remained in the room and driving her back towards the
> window.
>     She couldn't remember why she had fallen asleep in the mansion.
> After all, her room was in the servants' quarters.  But it didn't make
> any difference now.  She was trapped in a smoke-filled room by a fire
> raging out of control.

	"You've got me burning... in the thiiiiiiird degreeee....."
	(from the soundtrack of the first "Terminator" movie, oddly enough)

>     As she reached the window, sounds of the fire and commotion in the
> mansion reached her ears.  She could hear Miss Manager shouting about
> finding Uzume and Taeko yelling at Chika-chan to hurry up.

	Maybe a comma after Uzume -- I at first thought MM was shouting about 
Tae yelling at Chika.

>     Coughing, Tina pushed open the window and hung her head outside,
> teased by patches of cleaner air that appeared only briefly and
> disappeared just as fast.  Great balls of smoke billowed up from the

	Balls<>billows?  Or maybe palls?

> level below causing the terror of being trapped in a dark, smoky second
> floor room a very real possibility.

	Sug: comma after "below", and ITYM "making" rather than "causing".

>     Footsteps outside her door were accompanied by the screams of a
> terrified female from somewhere down the hall.
>     "Kaoru!" the voice called.  Tina recognized that voice.  It was Aoi
> Sakuraba.  She must also be trapped somewhere inside the mansion,
> probably in her bedroom.
>     With her own situation every bit as dire as Aoi's, Tina called to
> Kaoru.  He had to be close enough to hear.  Judging by the sounds in the
> hallway, he must have been just outside her door.

	Uh oh.  It's one of THOSE dreams.  This can't end well... unless it 
convinces her to give up on Mr Right-but-Taken, and give Mr 
Might-be-Right-and-Definitely-Right-Here-Right-Now a chance.

>     "Kaoru, I'm in here!" she called again, but the footsteps never
> hesitated, fading away as he heard Kaoru's voice.
>     "I'm coming, Aoi-chan!" he yelled, his voice sounding farther away.
>     "Kaoru, not that way!  In here!" Tina screamed before being
> overwhelmed by the smoke.  She gagged on the oppressive black cloud that
> seemed to envelope her more than the room itself.  "Please, Kaoru!"

	Geez, the imagery is getting thick in here.  :D

>     From just down the hall, she could hear Kaoru's voice.  He sounded
> calm and reassuring.  "I'm here, Aoi-chan.  I'll get you out."
>     "Kaoru!  Help me!"  Tina shouted to the gathering darkness of her
> room.  The sounds of Kaoru's comforting voice faded as he and Aoi
> Sakuraba moved towards the stairs and safety.
>     "KAORU!"
	
	"Don't leave me for that almost-perfect girl who loves you at least as 
much as I do (maybe more) but is probably better for you, and rich, 
and... um... I'm not helping my case here, am I?"

>     With a gasp, Tina woke.  Her body shuddered as she hugged herself
> and trembled.  The rocking of the train car and sound of the ventilators
> reassured her it was just a dream.  Instead of being trapped in a smoky
> second floor room in the Sakuraba mansion, she was sitting in a window
> seat on the train, her feet up on the facing seat.  A large bag of ice
> lay draped over her abused ankles.  Steven sat in the aisle seat across
> from her, eyeing her with a concerned expression.

	SP:  eying.

>     "Nightmare?" he asked, almost as if he was interested.

	Ooo, cold, Tina.  He *is* interested, you know.  More than he wants to be.

>     All Tina could do was nod and hug herself tighter as she stared at
> the seat in front of her.  The fire, the smoke, and even the sound of
> Kaoru's voice made her dream seem so real.  The details continued to
> swirl in her head, especially the part where Kaoru didn't hear her calls
> for help.  Or, perhaps, he heard but chose Aoi to rescue.  Could that be
> why she suddenly felt so chilled?

	Nah, it's the ice.

>     Tina licked her dry lips as her chin dropped to her chest.  In her
> dream, it hadn't scared her so much that she and Aoi were both in
> danger.  It was who Kaoru chose to rescue.
>     "You okay?" Steven asked, sounding more like he was more concerned
> than before.

	Double use of "more"	

>     "Yes," she answered, her voice sounding hoarse and far away.
>     "From the sounds of things, that must have been a bad one," he
> said, referring to her dream.  "You were starting to get loud.  Almost
> woke up the other passengers."

	I'd chop "referring to her dream"

>     "Sorry," she whispered, too embarrassed to say it louder.
>     Steven sighed and stood up, grabbing the back of his seat to keep
> his balance in the rocking train car.  "I better get some more ice for
> your ankles," he said.  "You stay put.  I'll only be a minute."
>     As he turned to leave, Tina felt another wave of panic come over
> her.  It was almost as bad as the dream.  "I didn't mean it," she said,
> still looking at her lap.  She could tell Steven was rooted next to his
> vacated seat, listening to her every word.  "What I said in my dream
> last night."  Her eyes scanned up to Steven.  She wasn't sure just how
> to say what she really meant but knew she had to try.  "It was just a
> dream, Steven.  When I returned from high school in California, I met

	Mmmm... being as it's Tina, I'd sub "came back" for "returned"

> Kaoru.  He was my only friend in Tokyo.  He made me feel like I wasn't a
> gaijin.  He made me feel like I belonged."  Tina drew a deep breath,
> averting her eyes again.  This was a confession she hoped she'd  never

	double space.

> have to make.  "I know he liked me but not... in that way.  I mean, it's
> not like he didn't have a chance to... you know.  I guess, all along, he
> didn't want to hurt my feelings by telling me how it really was."
>     Admitting it out loud to anybody, much less a virtual stranger,
> left her feeling miserable.

	Because saying it out loud makes it more *real* somehow.  Strange, the 
little games we play on ourselves...

>     "I sometimes don't know where I belong," she said softly.  "I mean,
> I'm not Japanese, so I don't belong here.  I'm too Japanese to belong in
> America."  She folded her arms and slid deeper into the seat.  "I guess
> I really don't have anyone, Steven.  I thought I was helping Kaoru with
> his loneliness by being friends with him, but all I was really doing was
> trying to cover my own."
>     For several long seconds, all that she heard was the train rolling
> over the tracks.
>     "Do you want to go home to that place in Tokyo?" Steven asked in a
> soft voice.

	Is home a place, or is it the people you left there?
	I suddenly have this mental image of a middle-aged Tina sadly 
reminiscing about how nothing since has ever felt as much like home as 
the servants' quarters at Sakuraba House....

>     "Yes!  Well, maybe," she said with a frown.  "I guess..., I just

	no comma after ellipsis.

> don't know anymore.  The only friends I really have are there.  I mean,
> it would be nice to talk to Miss Landlord again.  She's so much smarter
> about things than I am.  She always has a way of making complicated
> things simple."

	And how much hilarity might be avoided, I wonder, if Tina ever referred 
to Aoi by *name* during this little cross-country escapade they've been 
on...?

>     "Look, Tina, this is probably a bad time to be making plans about
> the future," Steven said.  "I'm sorry, about back at the station.  I
> probably jumped to conclusions."  He sighed heavily.  "I told you
> earlier that I'm no good at this 'relationship' stuff.  I guess that's
> why I've always had trouble with girls."  He paused as if choosing his

	"Well, that, and how they always seem to see me as a brother/cousin 
type, instead of a potential romance object.  Am I wearing a *sign* or 
something?"

> words carefully.  "When I'm done with this job, I'm quitting.  I'll
> probably have to pay my own way home.  Before I go, I'd like to take you

	Boy, civil service has *really* gone downhill.  They used to at least 
guarantee you a ticket back.
	Usually, if you go to the embassy and cry Distressed Traveler, they'll 
help you out somehow.  Although it might be a 5th-class ticket on 
third-world flagged tramp steamer...

> out just one time.  Maybe we can talk more about where you belong then."
>     Tina blinked at him as his words slowly settled in.  "You... you
> mean you're asking me to go on a date?" she said wide eyes.

	"Well, if you want to *call* it that..."

>     "If you're willing to be seen with me," he replied with a sheepish
> grin.
>     With a nervous sniff and embarrassed smile, she felt like a
> drowning swimmer who had just been thrown a rope.  Of course she would
> go out with him.  Two Americans, together in Tokyo.  What could be more
> romantic than that?

	...okay, even for Tina, that's... well, she's technically on the 
rebound, so....

>     "I'd like that," she said with a blush.  She had to admit, it was
> probably the most tender offer she'd ever had.  Steven was right, of
> course.  Just another day or so and it would all be over.  He'd turn
> over that stupid card key and the Koreans would then be hunting someone
> else.  She and Steven could slip back into Tokyo and begin to think
> about a future.

	<snerk>  Now she's getting ahead of herself.

>     They.  She rolled the word around in her head.  She had never
> really considered making 'they' kind of plans.  It was always 'me'
> plans, as in, plans for her and her alone.  She wasn't' sure she even
> knew how to make 'they' plans.

	extra ' on "wasn't"

>     "I'll get that ice and be right back," Steven said.
>     Tina's hand shot out to grab his arm.  When he looked questioningly
> her way, she felt herself blush again.  He really was good looking, even
> in a darkened train car.  "Don't be long," she said.

	Awww.

>     He patted her hand and chuckled.  "Not to worry.  I really think
> you fixed it so the Koreans can't track us anymore.  If it wasn't for
> you, they'd probably already have the key back and I'd be..."  He
> shrugged as if the getting killed in the line of duty didn't bother him,
> or at least it was now only a hypothetical exercise.
>     When he returned a few minutes later with a fresh bag of ice, he
> took the aisle seat next to her.  She slowly flexed her feet, testing
> how well the ice was working.  Despite a little stiffness, her ankles
> felt better than ever.
>     With a heavy sigh, she leaned against his warm body and snuggled
> for a comfortable position.  The gentle rocking of the train and soft
> hiss of the ventilators soon lulled her to sleep.

	Awwww^2.
	And, it occurs to me that, minus the ice, this is pretty much the way 
Kaoru and Aoi's first post-childhood meeting goes, way back in Volume or 
Episode 1.  Gee, GL, you wouldn't have done that *deliberately* or 
anything, would you?  :D

>     They spent almost six hours in the Nagano train station waiting for
> the first morning train down to Aomizusaki.

	Gesundheit.  Sorry, but some Japanese place-names just...

>  Tina dozed in her seat,
> resting her head on Steven's shoulder.  She couldn't tell if he slept at
> all, he was awake every time she checked, but he remained close all
> night and that gave her the comfort to doze off again.  Unlike before,
> her sleep was free of nightmares.

	"Brother, or teddy bear.  That's what girls always see me as."

>     Kaoru yawned as he sat alone on the sofa in the mansion watching
> television.  Aoi and Taeko were still in the kitchen, probably preparing
> something special for breakfast.  He had tried to help but Aoi just
> shooed him back in front of the TV with promises that the wait would be
> worth it.

	As long as she's un-Akane-Tendo'ing Tae's efforts at "helping," yeah, 
it'll be worth the wait.  :)

>     He hadn't told anyone that he was going to be at the opening of the
> Sakuraba Center.  He wanted that to be a secret.  He thought it would
> give him a chance to see Aoi in a formal setting without her worrying
> about him or how people might react to seeing them together.  He would
> just stand in the back, out of sight, and watch her from afar.

	Watch, or worship?  ;D

>     The morning news was playing and the weather girl had just finished
> describing how beautiful the weekend would be.  He smiled thinking how
> it will make things perfect for the opening.

	"smiled," "it would make"

>     The next scene was a reporter down in front of the national
> telephone building talking about how a system failure had blanked out
> all the lines from Japan to a certain exchange in Washington, DC.  The
> reporter indicated it was almost certain that an unauthorized person or
> persons had switched the circuits into test mode so that whenever
> someone tried to dial that part of America, the phone would ring and
> then hang up.  There was some concern since the person responsible for
> doing this had used the telephone computer system to secure the change
> in such a way as to be unnoticed for three days.  As this exchange only

	Sug:  "go unnoticed"
	
> disrupted a small number of phones, it did not effect diplomatic phone
> service or in any way disrupt communications between the Japanese and
> American governments.

	....except for a small No Such Agency.  Oh, crap.  From the American 
end, it would look like Stephen just dropped off the map.  So the home 
team has no idea that he's out in the cold.

>     Kaoru yawned again.  It was the same old thing; somebody made a
> mistake and everyone was trying to publicly cover it up while trying to
> locate the culprit.  Well, good luck with that, he thought.  Of course,
> he couldn't think of anyone outside the government that might want to
> call Washington in the first place.  No wonder nobody noticed.

	No so!  DC's 900 numbers have a very loyal Japanese night-shift 
following.  Really.  Would I make this up?

>     When Aoi called everyone to breakfast, he dismissed the whole issue
> in favor of finding out what specialty she had prepared today.
> 
> 
>     Tina was awake when they arrived in the seaside resort town of
> Aomizusaki.  Right away, she recognized the place.
>     "Hey, this is where we spent last summer," she said as they exited
> the train at a leisurely pace.  "Taeko's grandmother has a place here."
>     "Do you remember where it is?" Steven asked, still looking round
> for trouble.  It was probably just a habit, she thought but said
> nothing.  After all, they hadn't seen a Korean all night.

	Because they're *so easy* to tell from Japanese....
	Well, I suppose if you live in that part of the world, you learn to 
tell.  Still, Steve has to assume that *these* Koreans have at least 
some skill in covert surveillance.

>     "I think so."  Tina squinted towards the ocean.  "I remember it was
> somewhere on the beach."
>     It took her a few tries - the beach area being much larger than she
> remembered - but she eventually found Mrs. Minazuki's beach front cafe.
> By then, it was late in the morning and the temperature was rising fast.
>     "Tina!" Mrs. Minazuki crowed as they entered the cafe.  "How
> wonderful to see you again.  Are the others with you?" she asked,
> leaning over to see behind the blond.  Instead of her granddaughter and
> friends, all she saw was a large American, grinning sheepishly.

	Hidden behind Tina?  He can't be *that* large.  :)  Or is Tae's grandma 
just that short?

>     Tina just gave a little shrug.  "No," she said, almost
> apologetically, "it's just me... er, us."
>     Mrs. Minazuki looked disappointed until her gaze caught on Tina's
> left hand.  With a delighted gasp, she clapped her hands together.  "Oh,
> Tina, you got married."

	Oooooops.  In front of strangers, it was one thing, but NOW... I feel 
the Drivetrain of Destiny switching gears from Spy Novel mode to 
Romantic Comedy of Errors mode....

>     "Huh?"  Tina hesitated before remembering her cover.  "Ah, yeah.  I
> guess so."

	<facepalm>  Great recovery, Tina.

>     "When did that happen?  Is this the lucky young man?"  Mrs.
> Minazuki seemed to bubble with enthusiasm over the young woman's
> apparent change in marital status.

	Because, hey, maybe it's contagious.  And Tae does hang out with Tina a 
lot.
	
>     Tina rubbed the back of her head with her left hand, more to hide
> the evidence than embarrassment.  "Oh, it was kinda sudden.  Steven and
> I have only been married for two days."
>     "Then this must be your honeymoon," Mrs. Minazuki exclaimed
> happily.  "No wonder the others didn't come with you."
>     "Yeah, well, we were wondering if you could think of someplace we
> could stay for the evening," Tina said.
>     "I'm sorry, Tina.  It's the tourist season.  All the hotels and
> inns are booked."  The old lady paused to think as Tina held her breath.
> "I know," she said as if it were an original idea.  "Why don't you and
> your new husband stay here?"

	I can see the next morning already:  "Tina, dear, I noticed your room 
was awfully quiet last night.  Have you worn him out already?  I know 
some surefire old folk remedies for that..."

>     Tina tried to hide her relief at the invitation.  They really
> didn't have enough money to stay in a proper hotel and she had hoped
> Mrs. Minzuki would ask them to stay.  "Really?" she replied with all the
> mock surprise she could muster.
>     "Of course."  Mrs. Minazuki clapped her hands like she had just won
> a game show.  "You can use Taeko's room.  She pretty much cleaned it out
> when she moved to Tokyo.  I can bring in another futon and some
> comforters.  Of course, you won't need comforters in this heat."  She
> chuckled to herself before eyeing Tina in a sly manner.  "Besides, you
> have your new husband to keep you warm at night."

	And bang her head off door jams, and drop her on the floor, and hang 
her by her ankles, and... y'know, taken in the wrong context, that 
sounds downright kinky....

>     Tina blushed and nervously played with her ring at the mention of
> sleeping with Steven.  In the same room was okay but... well, she wasn't
> ready for actually sleeping with him - at least, not yet.

	"But by the time the sun goes down, who knows?"

>     "Let me show you the way."  Mrs. Minazuki turned towards the back
> of her shop, Tina and Steven followed along in her wake.
>     Up on the second floor, she indicated a modest room overlooking the
> ocean.  "You'll get a wonderful breeze up here in the evening.  I should
> know, my room is right next to this."  The old lady blushed as she
> suddenly noticed what she had said.  Leaning closer to Tina, she said in
> a loud whisper, "I won't say a thing, if I hear anything."  She giggled
> like a school girl.

	I *knew* there'd be at least one "loud" joke.

>     Tina could only blush and glance at Steven.  He acted embarrassed
> and tried a painful little smile.
>     The call from a delivery man downstairs caused Mrs. Minazuki to beg
> their pardon as she had to deal with running a business.
>     As Mrs. Minazuki scurried off, Tina turned to Steven.  "I hope that
> didn't give you any ideas," she said in a low voice.

	"None I'm willing to talk about."

>     "Of course not," Steven replied, stepping into their room.  "The
> mission comes first."
>     She was both relieved and a little disappointed in his answer.

	Gah!  Women!

> Naturally, she didn't want something to REALLY happen, but it would have
> been nice if he at least tried - a little.  After all, they were
> married.  Okay, not really, but something in her wanted to pretend - if
> only for an evening.
>     Dropping their bag in a corner, Steven looked out the window.  The
> view was wonderful.  Overlooking the wide, sandy beach with the ocean
> beyond, it was a suitable romantic hideaway for a young honeymooning
> couple.  With a sigh, he turned away from the inviting view.  "I better
> find that contact and get rid of this thing," he said, patting his pants
> pocket.  "The sooner that happens, the happier I'll be."

	Odds of success:  ZERO.  We need some excuse for all these various 
parties to collide explosively at the Sakuraba Expo Center....

>     "Want me to come with?" Tina asked.
>     "No, you stay here with Mrs. Minazuki."  Placing his hands on her
> shoulders, he looked into her eyes and hesitated.
>     Something in her silently begged him to finish, to bend over and
> give her a kiss or something.  Anything was better than just standing
> there looking at her like it was the last time they were going to see
> each other.

	Cue:  "Go on and KISS THE GIRL!"  Say what you will about Disney, 
sometimes their music is just appropriate.

>     Patting her shoulder like a guy would his pal, Steven stepped
> around her in the doorway and quickly disappeared down the stairs.
>     Tina suddenly gasped and took a deep breath.  She hadn't noticed
> that she had been holding her breath throughout 'the moment that never
> happened'.  With a couple of cleansing breaths, she dropped her hands to
> her side and slowly shook her head.  Perhaps, it was never meant to be,
> she thought.  Maybe he was right when he said he didn't know how to be
> romantic.

	Or maybe "don't get any ideas" pushed him away, baka.

> 
> 
>     Steven quietly slipped out the back way.  Mrs. Minazuki didn't seem
> to notice as she was bargaining with the delivery man over some extra
> cases of beer he had.
>     Pausing on the path that ran behind all the seafront shops, Steven
> tried to figure out where a particular pastry shop might be.  Thinking
> one direction was as good as another, he started towards the string of
> shops that extended to where the breakwater came ashore.  Maybe he would
> get lucky.

	No, she's back in... never mind.

>     Get lucky, he thought with a silent chuckle.  Chancing a glance
> back at the building where he left Tina, he shook his head at her
> expression as he held her shoulders.  Poor kid, he thought.  She was
> probably expecting something romantic when they found themselves alone.
> She must be taking this 'married' business too seriously.  Maybe he
> could afford to take her out for dinner or something when he got back.
> Since they didn't need to pay for the room, he might just be able to
> afford it.

	"Poor kid"?  He's not *that* much older.  And last chapter, he was 
practically *pining.*

>     Passing shop after shop, finding everything but a pastry shop, he
> was beginning to think he had chosen badly.  His luck seemed to turn
> when he got to the last shop before the stone wall that marked the end
> of the beach.  "Ichibon Pastries," he said softly to himself.  This was
> it.
>     Looking around casually to make sure he wasn't being watched, he
> cut between shops and emerged on the beach in front of his target.  The
> awnings that usually doubled as security walls were up, opening the
> entire front of the shop to prospective customers.  The left side of the
> shop was where the serving counter and display cases were.  Two women
> were stocking pastries in the displays and happily chatting about some
> TV show they had watched last night.  The right half of the shop was a
> large open area with a number of tables and chairs.  A bored-looking
> younger woman was idly sweeping her way around the tables.  With a deep
> breath, he lightly skipped up the steps towards the two women behind the
> counter.
>     "Good morning," he called cheerfully.
>     "Good morning, sir," the two women answered together.
>     The older-looking woman bowed and smiled.  "I'm sorry, sir, but the
> shop doesn't open until ten," she said.
>     "That's quite all right," Steven replied with a dismissive gesture.
> "I was actually wondering if one of you could help me find something
> special for my wife."
>     "Oh, what would that be?" the woman asked with a friendly smile.
>     "I have some friends who came through here last year and they said
> this was the only place in Japan where a person could find blue
> watermelon," Steven said innocently.  He needed to sound like a clueless
> gaijin.  From the expressions the two women exchanged, he was playing
> his part well.
>     "Blue watermelon?" the older woman asked.
>     "Yes, blue."
>     The two women appeared uncomfortable at his question.  "I'm sorry,
> sir, but we've never heard of such a thing," the older woman replied.
>     "Oh," Steven said in an embarrassed way.  Rubbing the back of his
> head with a hand, he smiled apologetically.  "I guess my friends were
> playing a joke on me.  They said everybody in Aomizusaki knew about blue
> watermelons.  I'm sorry to have bothered you."
>     He bowed a few times and scurried for the beach like a college kid
> that had been tricked.
>     Stopping on the sand in front of the shop, he tried to figure out
> where he had gone wrong.  Perhaps there was another Ichibon Pastry shop
> in town.  Maybe he was at the wrong place.  That had to be it.  It was
> just at the wrong place.
>     As he turned back up the beach, he heard a soft voice quietly
> trying to get his attention from around the other side of the shop.
> Casting a glance at the two women behind the counter who had gone back
> to stocking their displays, he followed the voice.
>     As he rounded the corner, he was surprised to see waiting for him
> the young woman who earlier had been sweeping the shop.  Motioning him
> to follow her further, he cautiously moved her direction until they were

	"in her direction"

> both fully out of sight of the beach.  In the narrow space between the
> shop and the stone wall, the girl looked nervously around to make sure
> they were unobserved.
>     "Are you looking for blue watermelon?" she asked in a hushed voice.
>     "Yes, do you know where I can find one?"
>     She hesitated and looked around again.  "They only grow on Yoro
> Shima."
>     Steven sighed.  That was the right response.  He had found his
> contact.

	This is too easy.  I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.

>     "What happened?  Why are you here?" she demanded.
>     "My cover has been blown.  My partner is dead and I've got
> something I need to get back to our people right away," he said very
> quickly.
>     As he began to pull the card key out of his pocket, the girl
> suddenly grabbed his arm to stop him.  "Not here.  Not now," she said
> urgently.  "Come back tonight, after work, at ten o'clock.  I'll meet
> you out where the breakwater comes ashore."

	Bring backup, Steve.  I don't like the way this smells.
	...okay, his only backup is Tina.  Um....

>     She quickly turned to leave but Steven stopped her.  "Can I at
> least have a name?  What should I call you?"
>     The girl smiled and pinched a strip of red highlight that ran the
> length of her long dark hair.  "They call me Akai."
>     With a saucy turn she quickly disappeared around the side of the
> shop, leaving Steven alone in the narrow alleyway.
>     "Well, I guess I can wait until ten," he said to himself.  "It's
> just a little longer."

	Cue "Jaws music."

>     Steven backtracked his way to the Minazuki shop and arrived just as
> Mrs. Minazuki was hanging up the phone.  She didn't look happy.
>     "Something wrong?" he asked like an innocent gaijin.  It was a part
> he was getting good at.
>     "That worthless kid," the old woman said with a sad shake of her
> head.  "What's wrong with kids today?  I mean, when I was younger, we
> knew how to keep a job."
>     Steven chuckled.  "Yeah, I guess kids are different now."
>     "There are exceptions," Mrs. Minazuki said thoughtfully.  "Take
> Taeko, for example.  She just can't do enough.  She's always working
> hard and doing her best at whatever job she has."
>     "Yes, I think I met her once."  Steven tried not to remember how he
> almost shot the young maid in Tina's room.

	But he certainly won't forget her!  :)

>     "Now I don't have a dishwasher for the lunch shift," Mrs. Minazuki
> said ruefully.
>     That gave Steven an idea.  "Well, since you've been nice enough to
> let us stay here, why don't I take his place."
>     "Oh, I couldn't do that," she said with a wave of her hand.
> "You're on your honeymoon."
>     "What couldn't you do?" Tina asked from the bottom of the stairs.
>     "Tina, your husband just offered to wash dishes for me until the
> dinner shift comes in at four.  But I can't ask him to work and leave
> his new wife all alone.
>     "Well, then Tina can help, too," Steven said with a grin Tina's
> way.  She didn't look like the idea appealed to her.

	Wicked, boy.  I *like.*

>     "I thought we might go to the beach," Tina said softly with a tiny
> pout.
>     "There'll be plenty of time for that later.  I can wash dishes and
> you can help out front."  Steven cocked his head, hoping Tina wouldn't
> refuse.
>     Tina started to say something but the look he gave her in return
> stopped her in her tracks.  "Yeah, I guess that would be fair," she said
> in resignation.
>     "My grandson will bus tables, so you don't have to worry about
> that," Mrs. Minazuki said thoughtfully.  "Just take the orders and I'll
> help Mr. Maruta get the food ready."
>     "Sounds like a plan," Steven said, reaching for an apron.
>     Mrs. Minazuki happily scampered off to finish getting ready to
> open.  Tina approached Steven with a worried expression.
>     "I guess, I was just being selfish again," she said, looking down

	I'd drop the comma after "guess".

> at the floor.  "You're right.  We should be helping out since Mrs.
> Minazuki has been so nice to let us stay here for free."
>     Steven patted her shoulder.  "That's my girl."  When she didn't
> appear any happier at the compliment, he bent over enough to look her in
> the eyes.  "Cheer up.  You'll enjoy it.  Besides, how many beach front
> cafes can boast of having a pretty blond waitress?"
>     "Yeah, it might even be fun," Tina said, her voice filling with
> hope.

	Ranma Saotome:  "Yeah, RIGHT."

>     Despite having her afternoon plans spoiled, Tina threw herself into
> her work - greeting people as they entered, taking orders, and generally
> flirting with the cute guys that seemed to swarm Mrs. Minazuki's little
> cafe.  Word had obviously spread up and down the beach that the place
> had a new waitress, a blonde American waitress.

	"With a great fantail!  And turret guns that would put the _Yamato_ to 
shame!"
	"...Yoshi, what *is* it with you and comparing girls to warships?"

>     Sometimes, between delivering orders to the kitchen and taking
> meals out to the customers, she checked on Steven.  To her amusement, he
> seemed to be having the time of his life.  More than that, he actually
> seemed to know what he was doing.  Plates and glasses practically flew
> from the bussing tray into his steamy soap water only to reappear
> moments later washed, rinsed, stacked, and ready to dry.

	He's done this before.

>     Despite the flirtatious guys and an occasional pinch on the butt,
> she continued to maintain her composure, comporting herself in a happy
> and friendly manner.  She had to admit, even without taking time to


	<shudder>  I'm sure the patrons would appreciate a drunk Tina (well, 
some of them), but Steve and Grandma Minazuki wouldn't.

> drink with the patrons, working for Mrs. Minazuki was kinda fun.
>     All too soon, it seemed, the evening shift reported for duty.  As
> Tina hung up her waitress apron, Mrs. Minazuki waddled towards her,
> wiping her hands on a towel.
>     "Thank you so much, Tina," the old lady said.  "I don't know what I
> would have done without you and your husband."
>     Tina dismissed the compliment with an embarrassed wave of her
> hands.  "That's okay.  It gave us something to do."
>     Mrs. Minazuki chuckled, her eyes twinkling with mischief.  "I'll
> bet there was something you two would rather be doing."
>     Tina blinked for a moment until it dawned on her what the old lady
> meant.  "Oh... uh, no.  That's okay," she said, blushing furiously and
> waving her hands even faster.
>     With a nudge from her elbow, Mrs. Minazuki winked and leaned
> closer, keeping her voice down.  "I understand completely.  But I want
> to make it up to you and your husband."  She reached under one of the
> dish drying tables.  Struggling a bit, she finally pulled out a bucket
> full of ice.  It contained cans of beer and a small bottle of sake.  "I
> want you to take these upstairs to your room.  Mr. Maruta is making you
> two a basket of food."
>     "Oh, that's not necessary," Tina stammered.
>     "But it IS," Mrs. Minazuki insisted.  "You two are such a lovely
> couple.  You deserve a night in a fancy resort.  But, since we can't
> provide that, I'm sure you two can think of something to do up in your
> room."  She leaned closer and almost loud whispered.  "The patrons down
> here will be making so much noise, I'm sure nobody will hear you."
>     "Hear me?" Tina asked in a small voice while accepting the bucket
> of drinks.

	"Oh, deary, you're a screamer, I can tell -- after all, it takes one to 
know one."

>     "Well, you know how it can get when two people are in love," the
> old lady replied with a wink.
>     All Tina could do was stare at the far wall, her eyes glazed.  Sex
> in a room directly over a noisy cafe with dozens of people only yards
> away, wasn't her idea of a romantic rendezvous.  

	What, no exhibitionist streak?  :)

> She swallowed hard and
> tried to object, but all that came out was a tiny squeak.
>     "I trust you have sufficient protection," the old lady asked in her
> soft voice.  "That is, unless you want to get pregnant."  She paused as
> the thought brought a smile to her face.  "That would be wonderful," she
> gushed.  "Tina pregnant.  Won't Taeko and the others be surprised."

	Yow.  Missus M, you're going to be scraping Tina off the floor if you 
keep going down this road.  Can't you smell the smoke coming out of her 
ears already?

>     Surprised wasn't exactly the word Tina would have used.  It would
> be more like, shocked, stunned, or even flabbergasted.
>     "Now you take this bucket upstairs and I'll send your husband up -
> after I make him clean up a bit," Mrs. Minazuki said with a chuckle.
>     Tina could feel her face growing red as she slowly turned towards
> the stairs.  Her first instinct was to drop the bucket and run.  But
> that wouldn't look very good.

	And besides, Tina never wastes booze.

>     Feeling trapped, she lurched towards the stairs.  All the time, her
> mind toyed with her, issuing dares and vague promises of what she was

	All she needs is a little devil and angel on each shoulder.
	"Go for it!  You know you wanna!"
	"I must agree -- he certainly is a well-mannered young man, and we know 
we could do much worse."
	"Wait -- you're *agreeing* with me?"
	"Well, this one is certainly a more virtuous prospect than chasing 
Kaoru-sama, who is, after all, very much taken."

> about to experience.  It wasn't like she was too young for this.  She
> was twenty-four and had barely kissed a guy.  That wasn't sex - it
> wasn't even good foreplay.  Sure, she was curious about sex - what girl
> wasn't - but it all seemed so rushed.  It wasn't as if she and Steven
> were really married.  Their marital status was a cover - nothing more.

	Cue:  "Love and marriage, love and marriage..."

>     The top step almost tipped her, causing an embarrassing stumble.

	Tipped or tRipped?

> Not a good sign, she thought.  When she stepped into Taeko's old room,
> she felt her body tremble uncontrollably.
>     Setting the bucket down, she hugged herself and tried to think of a
> way out of this.  She couldn't have sex yet.  She didn't even have a
> boyfriend.  Well, not a real one.  All she had was Steven and he was
> just a spy guy she was just tagging along with to stay out of trouble.

	I'm not proponent of sex on the first date, or the first cross-country 
desperate escape from international intelligence agents, but at this 
point I'm hoping she'll simply snap and jump Steve's bones just to get 
it OVER WITH!
	But I don't think the author is done torturing her (or us) just yet.  ;)

> Sure, he was nice and all, but no romantic double oh spy or anything.
>     Instinctively, she pulled out a can of beer and quickly emptied it.

	Uh oh.

> That was quickly followed by another - and then a third.  She continued
> pulling cans and opening them until she had consumed all the beer in the
> bucket.  The small bottle of saki - the only alcohol left - was her last
> resort.  She figured that if she got enough booze in her, she might just
> pass out and avoid the whole sex issue altogether.

	Well, it has the benefit of being a *novel* approach to the problem.
	Of course, she's working herself into a tizzy over nothing -- I mean, 
what's given her the idea that Steve would try anything?  Or that she 
has to?  After all, they've managed to be faux-married for days so far 
w/o anything happening.
	Face it, Tina: you're afraid of something *mutual* happening, and not 
being able to find a convenient excuse not to when it does.

>     Draining the last of the saki, she lowered the bottle in time to
> see Steven standing in the doorway with a curious expression.  Take
> that, mister spy guy, she thought.  He wouldn't dare try anything with
> her in her current condition.  That would be... well, rape.

	Well, she's fiendishly managed to sink Grandma's plan to get them 
*both* drunk enough to make mad, passionate love into the wee hours of 
the morning...

> 
>     "You okay?" Steven said with a tilt of his head.
>     All Tina could respond with was a silly low chuckle.
>     His eyes fell to the bucket containing only some forlorn ice
> floating in its melted brethren.  "I see you started without me," he
> said, entering the room.  "Should I go see about some more to drink?"
>     Tina slipped away from him with quick, tiny side steps.  "No," she
> squeaked.
>     Steven's eyes looked left and then right.  "Oooookay.  Why are you
> acting so strange?  Did I scare you?"

	<snort>  More like she scared herself, thinking about what could happen 
*with* you.  I wonder if she chased Kaoru partly because he was safely 
unobtainable, so that she wouldn't have to actually *make* this decision...

>     Tina giggled nervously.  "Yeah, that's it.  You just scared me.
> Silly me."  She giggled again, much more forcefully than before.  "I
> really have no reason to be scared.  After all, we're sorta like, you
> know, married and why shouldn't you be in my room - I mean, OUR room?
> It's not like we're going to have sex or anything."
>     Steven stood dumbfounded at the suggestion.  "If you say so."
> Remembering what he had brought from downstairs, he pulled out from
> behind his back a small picnic-style basket.  "Look what Mr. Maruta
> fixed us.  That was really nice of him, don't you think?"
>     Tina stared at the basket like it contained an assortment of sex
> toys.

	Grandma:  "I TOLD him to cut those cucumbers into *slices*!  And the 
bananas, too!"

>     With a frown, Steven cocked his head.  "Are you sure you're okay?"
>     Taking a deep breath, Tina forced a smile.  "Of course.  What would
> make you think otherwise?" she said, trying to cross her arms but her
> breasts kept getting in the way.

	<facepalm>  It's not *Steve* who's got the dirty mind, here.

>     "I don't know.  You're acting all... weird."  He frowned in
> confusion.  She usually didn't act THIS strange.  Something must be
> wrong, he concluded.  "Sure you don't want me to get you more to drink.
> I think Mrs. Minazuki has more beer, if you want."
>     Tina's eyes narrowed.  "You'd like that, wouldn't you?  You just
> wanna get me drunk," she warned in a low voice.

	Maybe "warned"<>"accused"?

>     "I doubt you need my help for that," Steven replied, setting the
> basket on the floor.  "I'm just trying to figure out what this is all
> about."

	Denial.  And I ain't talking about the river.

>     Still eyeing him, she quickly sat down on the window sill
> overlooking the beach and eyed him suspiciously.  For a few moments, the
> room was silent allowing in the unimpeded sounds of people outside
> packing their things to go home mixed with the more raucous folks down
> in Mrs. Minazuki's cafe.  "Then Taeko's grandmother didn't say anything
> to you?" she asked with narrowed eyes.
>     Sighing, Steven dropped to the floor next to the basket of food.
> "Only that I should not disappoint my wife - whatever that meant," he
> replied with a shrug.

	O_O  He *can't* be that oblivious.  Unless he's been trying so hard to 
resist temptation that his innuendo meter is offline....

>     "I KNEW it!" she snarled, jumping to her feet.  "You've come to
> have your way with me."

	Grandma <pulling her ear out of the glass she's holding against the 
wall>:  "Oh, dear, this isn't going well."

>     Steven froze in the act of pulling out a grilled shrimp from the
> basket.  Slowly lowering the shrimp back, he eyed her with a curious
> expression.  "Have my way with you?"

	One Ugly Newlywed Spat, coming right up.  And they haven't even gotten 
to the GOOD parts of the honeymoon yet.

>     "That's right.  You're here to ravage me and deflower this innocent
> young body."
>     Things were coming together in Steven's head.  All the drinking,
> the comment from Mrs. Minazuki, and Tina's sudden strange behavior - it
> all added up now.  With a heavy sigh, he shook his head.  "Nope.  I told
> you before.  I'm not going to do anything that would compromise--"
>     "WHY NOT?" she gasped incredulously.  "What's wrong with this body?
> Am I not pretty enough for you?  Are my boobs too small?"  She absently

	<Beating!  Head!  Against! Desk!>

> grabbed her own breasts and gave them a squeeze.  That act caused her to
> pause a moment with a curious frown.  "Actually, they're not bad."  She
> squeezed them again.  "I wonder, have I been squeezing other women's
> breasts in compensation for my reluctance to touch my own?"

	<NOSEBLEED FAULT -- CRITICAL BLOOD LOSS.  Shutting down>

>     Steven leaned over and propped his head on a fist.  "I see you've
> had some psychology classes at that college.  I wonder what comes next?"

	"I can't look away -- it's like watching a train wreck."

>     "Well, it's NOT touching these!" she yelled as she continued to
> fondle her charms.  Her attention quickly switched back to what she was
> doing.  "I really need to do this more often."

	Steve:  "No matter what I do or say for the rest of this conversation, 
it's going to be wrong, isn't it?"

>     "You want me to leave you alone with yourself?  You seem to be
> getting along so well."  Steven yawned and pulled another grilled shrimp
> from the basket.

	...then again, complete disinterest might just save-- no.  It won't. 
Hello, Catch-22.

>     "Aren't you the least bit turned on by this?" she gasped, her
> fingers still kneading her breasts.
>     "Of course," he replied.  "However, I also remember promising you
> that I wouldn't do anything to you."
>     "YOU COULD, AT LEAST, TRY!"  She released her breasts to flap her

	I'd drop the commas.

> arms in frustration.  "What's wrong with me?"
>     Steven sighed.  "Tina, you're a beautiful, sexy young lady - with a
> small drinking problem."  He paused as she snatched an empty beer can
> from the floor and threw it his way.  He just frowned at her as it
> sailed past him, missing his head by more than a foot.  "Okay, a big
> drinking problem.  You also throw like a girl."

	oh.  no.  he didn't.

>     "I AM a girl, stupid!"  To prove her point, she ripped open her
> shirt, exposing her bra-encased breasts.  "I've got all the right
> equipment to be a girl!"  She unsnapped her shorts and quickly slid them
> down her legs.  Stepping out of them, she kicked the discarded shorts
> his way.  As they settled over his head, she did a complete pirouette,
> ending with reaching behind her back for the bra catch.  "I'll show you
> how much of a desirable woman I am."

	Honestly, if this isn't "TAKE ME NOW!" behavior, what *is*?

>     Steven whipped the shorts off his head.  "I told you before, NOT
> until we're done with this mission.  If you still feel this way then,
> we'll go somewhere and... you know."
>     The bra snap came free but she didn't seem to notice.  "You mean
> it?" she asked in a tiny voice, as if she couldn't believe what he just
> promised.

	Now she'll accuse him of plotting... something vague, hentai, and that 
she'd probably enjoy if she wasn't too busy beating him over the head 
with it.

>     A light breeze from the open window flowed around her body, causing
> her shirt to flutter open, revealing her white cotton panties.  Her body
> tilted slightly back an forth.

	anD

>     "I promise you.  We'll go somewhere nice and do whatever you feel
> like doing - except drink ourselves silly.  I read somewhere that
> alcohol kinda inhibits a man's performance."

	Never tested it empirically?  He *is* a country boy.

>     "Really?"  She smiled as if it was the best news she had heard all
> day.  "I didn't know that.  You must read a lot."
>     He started to answer, but was interrupted when she dropped to her
> knees.  He had just enough time to lunge forward to catch her before she
> fell flat on her face.
>     For a few moments, Steven held the Tina's unconscious form.  He

	"The Tina"?  What, she's a title now?  :)

> could tell she was okay, the shirt she was still wearing that covered
> her down to her white cotton panties slowly moved with her breathing.
> He also noticed that in catching her, both his hands had found her
> breasts.

	So cliche.  But at this point, I think genre conventions require it.

>     "I think you're right, Tina.  These are real winners," he said,
> lowering her gently to the floor.

	<head 'splodey>

> 
>     Tina woke with a groan.  Her head felt like someone had hit her
> square in the forehead.  As the cobwebs slowly cleared from her mind,
> she began to notice her surroundings - and how she was dressed.  Judging

	Uh oh.  She's going to have memory problems and accuse Steve of giving 
her what she wanted but won't admit to, isn't she?

> by the ceiling, she was still in Taeko's old room.  She figured that the
> fact she could see the ceiling must mean she was on her back.  The
> caress of soft tatami confirmed she was on the floor.  So far, so good.
> The small blanket covering her from her neck to her knees was self
> evident.  Judging by the tactile feedback from her butt and upper legs,
> she wasn't wearing her new cargo shorts anymore.  She wondered why.

	Somehow, she was sure it was all Steven's fault.  Whatever it was.

> Without moving, she slowly wiggled just a bit in an unsuccessful attempt
> to determine if she was still wearing the panties she bought yesterday.
> Try as she might, she just couldn't tell if what she felt was direct
> contact with her butt or passing through her panties.  Gulping silently,
> she moved a hand under the blanket to check.
>     "You okay?" she heard Steven ask.
>     Her hand froze short of its mark.  Tilting her head as far back as
> she could, her companion's smiling face slowly swam into focus.  Without
> answering, she frowned and eased up the blanket's edge to looked
> underneath.  Everything seemed to be in place - except that her shirt
> was completely undone and her bra felt a little loose.  Slowly, she
> pulled the blanket over her head.

	R!O!T!F!L!M!A!O!

>     "Steven, did we do anything... you know?" she asked from under the
> blanket.
>     "We sure did and you were great," he replied with just a touch of
> admiration in his voice.

	Oh, I like this guy.

>     "Noooo," she whined.  "Then I lost it."
>     "Lost what?"
>     "My virginity.  I can't believe I lost it and don't even remember
> doing it," she moaned.

	"Don't worry, I'll help you find it again.  And again, and again, and 
again...."

>     "What did it look like?  I'm sure it's around here somewhere," he
> replied.  "Maybe we can search for it together."
>     "That's not funny," she whined.  "A girl is supposed to glow after
> sex."

	<faceplant>  Too many Harlequin romances.

>     "Only if she does it in a nuclear power plant."

	ROFL!

>     "This is serious, Steven!" she snapped.
>     "Okay," he replied with a chuckle.  "You're fine.  All that
> happened was you danced around the room naked, dared me to catch you and
> then passed out.  I have to admit it was a pretty good show."

	ROTFL^2

>     She snatched the blanket from over her head to confront him.  "NO
> WAY!"
>     He just laughed out loud.  "Okay, truth is, you got part way there
> but passed out before you showed anything improper - except for your
> panties.  I must say, you made a good choice in choosing them.  They
> look good on you."

	Revenge, my dear Tina, is a dish best served cold.

>     "Ack!"  She quickly pulled the blanket back around her head to hide
> her embarrassment.  Wishing she could pull up one of the tatami mats and
> crawl under it, she hunkered down a little lower and tried to pretend
> she wasn't there.  It wasn't easy.  Only then did she realize that her
> head was on Steven's thigh.

	Only NOW?  Bwahahahahahahahaaaa!!!

>     "You really are amusing when you drink," he said as his hand
> caressed her blanket-covered shoulder.  "But, I think I like you better
> when you're sober."

	"Although I could think of a few good uses for you when you're 
*halfway* drunk...."

>     Slowly lowering the blanket until she could see Steven, she looked
> at him differently than before.  "Really?"

	I wonder how many people have ever said that to her before?

>     "Really.  Tina, you are the first girl I've ever said this to.  If
> I had to pick one girl to be on the run with, it would be you," he said
> softly.
>     Tina sniffed and rubbed her nose on the blanket.  "I really like
> you, too," she said.  "I'm just not ready to... you know."
>     Steven sighed.  "That's okay.  I kinda like you this way."
>     "I don't know how," she grumped.  "I haven't had a bath in two
> days.  I must smell of beer and all that cooking downstairs. Maybe,
> after a bath..."  Her voice trailed off as she fully considered what she
> was suggesting - or if she was really serious about doing what she was
> considering.

	Good grief, all the thinking her hindbrain has been doing is finally 
percolating up into her forebrain.

>     "A bath would be nice.  But, I'm afraid that will have to wait," he
> replied, checking his watch.  "It's almost ten.  I have to meet that
> contact out by the breakwater."

	Uh oh.  If she finds out that the contact is an attractive young woman...

>     Tina reluctantly moved her head from his thigh so he could stand.
> Still clutching the blanket to her partially naked body, she struggled
> to sit up.  Turning her head to look up at him, she tried to think of
> how to say what was in her heart.  "Be careful," was all she could say.
>     "Don't worry, all I have to do is get rid of this Korean magnet and
> we can get out of here," he said, patting his pocket where the card key
> was hidden.  "No more problems."

	Magic 8-Ball says:  "Keep Dreaming."

>     Tina had heard that before but forced herself to nod and smile
> reassuringly as he helped her to her feet.  Their luck seemed to be
> holding since she had encased the key in that discarded metal mint box.
> She sighed.  Perhaps, everything was going to work out, after all.
> Steven seemed confident that everything was going to work out.  So, why
> worry?

	Cue Bobby McFerrin:  "Don't worry... Be happy..."

>     She felt his hands on her slim shoulders.  Almost shyly, she looked
> up to his smiling face.  For the first time since they'd met, she felt
> like throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him for all he was
> worth.  She might not be ready for sex but the thought of pressing
> herself against his strong body caused her to breathe faster.

	Cue Berlin:  "Take my Breath Away...."

>     Instead of taking advantage of what she was offering, he just
> patted her shoulder with a hand.  "I'll be back soon and then we can go
> get that bath," he said.  "And, if there's no bath houses open this time
> of night, we can go try out that private grotto everyone is talking
> about."
>     "Sure," she whispered, her eyes dropping to his feet.  A regular
> bath would be nice but a moonlight swim in the same groto that Kaoru and
> Aoi used a couple of years ago would be even better - even if she would
> insist they swim in their underwear.

	"The better to enjoy *unwrapping* you, my dear..."  ;D

>     "Stay here with Mrs. Minazuki and I'll take you out afterwards," he
> said, turning to leave.
>     She wanted to say something - anything - but couldn't find the
> right words.  All the romantic movies she had watched over the years
> went to waste as all she could do was nod.

	It's amazing how hard it is to come up with something to say in these 
situations.  The movies make it look so EASY....

>     She watched him leave and looked over her current attire while
> considering what to do.  She could do as she was told and stay in their
> room but something about that didn't feel right.  After all, she was his
> partner - well, almost.  Anyway, perhaps she could follow him and just
> keep an eye on things.  Someone watching for trouble might just keep
> them both safe.

	Mmmmaybe.

>     With renewed determination because she had a plan, she quickly dug
> out a new shirt from their bag and dressed, picking up her cargo shorts
> and fastening everything as it should be.  Adjusting her new shirt and
> finishing with the last button, she checked the hallway.  It was empty.
> Nobody would see her leave, she thought.
>     She crept down the stairs as silently as the old wood beneath her
> feet would allow and easily gained the back door.  Checking to make sure
> no one had noticed her departure, she slipped on her sneakers and
> silently escaped outside.

	No surprise from Grandma?  Uh oh -- I feel the Drivetrain of Destiny 
shifting gears again....

>     Behind the cafe, she found herself on a rough stone walk that ran
> the entire length of the beach along the flood wall.  However, she
> quickly discovered a problem with her plan.  She didn't know which way
> he went.  Looking both ways, she figured one way was as good as another
> and set off to the right.
>     Creeping along the walkway, she passed shop after shop.  Most of
> them were closed and dark.  There wasn't much light behind the shops -
> mostly moonlight and the occasional struggling florescent bulb
> flickering away on the back of a darkened building.
>     As she got closer to the end of the walkway, the flood wall gave
> way to a dimly-lit parking lot with only a solemn car and
> abandoned-looking old panel van backed up nearest the buildings.  Not a
> soul was in sight.
>     She decided to cut between two buildings and get her bearings.  As
> she turned towards the beach, a sudden sound ahead caused her to jerk to
> a halt.  Scarcely breathing, she hugged one of the buildings and
> listened.  Another noise sounding suspiciously like someone in distress
> urged her forward.
>     When she reached a couple of stacked crates, she paused to listen.
> A low groan came from just on the other side, sounding distinctly like a
> man who had just been beaten.  That had to be Steven, she thought.
>     With a rush, she started around the crates only to screech to a
> halt in the soft sand as she discovered who had made the noise.  Instead
> of an American secret agent laying injured on the warm sand, there were
> a pair of young lovers in the throes of romantic copulation.

	Don't you just HATE it when that happens?  PEOPLE!  Get a room!  Don't 
you know we have dangerous international spies running around this town 
doing who-knows what?!?

>     Choking a gasp of surprise, Tina's eyes went wide as she slowly
> edged back behind her cover.  Her natural instinct was to run, but there
> was a touch of voyeur in her that demanded she make sure of what she had
> just seen.

	I swear, I read that as "make use" the first time through.

>     Swallowing hard, Tina peeked over the crate to confirm what she had
> seen earlier - a scene of raw sex.  A girl, her bikini on the ground
> next to her, was writhing under the undulating body of a young man
> wearing only a sleeveless t-shirt.  Tina's eyes went even wider as they
> caught on his firm buttocks repeatedly clenching and relaxing as he
> slammed his hips sharply against the girl's loins. Other than the time
> when she accidentally turned on the TV in that love hotel she and Kaoru
> were forced to occupy did she ever see anything so... disturbing.
>     Is that what it looks like?  Does the girl always have such a
> pained expression when she...?  Tina's thoughts derailed almost as
> quickly as they came as moonlight caused where the couple were joined to
> glisten with their shared... moisture.  The sheer pornographic image of
> the act burned itself into her memory, assuring she would see it over
> and over again in her dreams.  She blushed furiously and slowly backed
> away.

	Not a porn fan, our Tina.

>     How can she possibly...?  Why would she...?  No way am I doing
> that!  Bath or no bath, Steven was going to sleep on the other side of
> the room tonight - and maybe every night they were together on this
> crazy trip.

	Aw, c'mon Greg!  You're KILLING the audience here!

>     With a tiny squeak of distress, echoed by the girl's orgasmic cry,
> Tina beat a hasty retreat back to the walkway.
>     For a few moments, she leaned against the building - gasping for
> breath.  Despite her best efforts, she could still see the couple -
> especially the guy's butt - giving her a strange feeling in the pit of
> her stomach.  It suddenly felt hotter than before.  Fanning herself, she
> pressed on down the pathway towards the last few shops on the beach.
> 
> 
>     Steven cautiously rounded the pastry shop and stopped in the
> shadows.  A lone figure stood outlined in the moonlight on the beach
> only twenty yards away.  That had to be Akai, he thought as he checked
> all around to make sure nobody was watching.
>     Confident, they were alone, he emerged onto the beach and slowly

	Drop the first comma.

> approached his contact.
>     "Akai?" he called in little more than a loud whisper.
>     The girl snapped a startled look towards his voice before slowly
> allowing it to dissolve into a smile of relief.  "I was beginning to
> wonder if you were coming," she said softly, her body still tense.  "Did
> you bring it?"
>     "I've got it," he replied as he approached.
>     At his answer, she seemed to relax.  Her smile looked like a small
> beacon.  "Good.  Let's get this over with.  I don't feel safe out here."
>     Steven nodded his agreement and reached into his pocket.  Before he
> could remove the mint container, Akai's eyes went wide and she quickly
> grabbed him.  "What the--," he gasped.
>     "Shut up, you fool," she hissed back.  "We're being watched."
>     "Watched?  By whom?" he asked, turning his head slightly and
> straining to see behind him.

	If Akai grabs him and kisses him for cover, it'll be Tina.  If she 
doesn't, it'll be the Koreans.  He's just having that kind of week.

>     "I don't know.  We have to appear to be simple lovers on the
> beach," she said, her voice strained.
>     "We have to WHAT?" Steven exclaimed, a bit louder than he intended.
> Drawing a sharp breath, he felt her body mold itself to his, her arms
> wrapping themselves around his neck.
>     "Kiss me," she ordered.
>     "Why?"
>     "So they think we're just a romantic couple on the beach."
>     Steven was about to protest when her lips mashed against his.
> Instinctively, he responded as best he could with one hand still in his
> pocket and a beautiful Japanese girl plastered to his chest.

	I'm sure I've got a putty knife around here somewhere...

>     His body had gone rigid at the first contact - he could feel her
> small unencumbered breasts pressing themselves hard against his chest
> and one shapely leg between his caressing him in a most sensual way.
> Slowly, he responded to the kiss - not to mention all the other
> stimulation he was receiving.

	Steven's Brain:  TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES -- PLEASE STAND BY.

>     He was just beginning to enjoy this spy business when he felt
> something prick his neck.  It felt like an insect bite - a big one.  He
> tried to see what it was but Akai was holding him too tight.
>     As she continued to try and suck his tonsils out, he felt the beach
> beginning to spin.  The sounds coming from Mrs. Minazuki's cafe further
> up the beach began to fade as his legs started to protest holding his
> body in a standing position.

	Okay, I was wrong.

>     "The name's Bond, James...," was all he think of as he sagged
> towards the still warm sand.
>     "Are you all right?" Akai gasped, still clinging to him only now
> she was looking directly into his eyes with a terrified expression.
> "What's happening?  What's wrong with you?"  Her voice seemed farther
> and farther away.

	Oh.  She wasn't setting him up.  The act just didn't fool whomever was 
watching.

>     The last thing he remembered seeing was Akai's frightened
> expression as the darkness engulfed him.
> 
> 
>     Tina pressed on after her encounter with the amorous couple.  Just
> getting as far away from them as possible was her primary objective.
> Still, she couldn't believe how hot it had gotten.  Sweat made her shirt
> stick to her body.  She was certain her bra was soaked by now, not to
> mention her panties.  No doubt about it, she was going to need a bath
> when this was all over.
>     When she reached the last shop, she cautiously turned towards the
> beach.  There were fewer things for lovers to hide behind so it was
> easier for her to gain the beach without detouring again.
>     Just as Steven said, someone was already out by the breakwater -
> only it wasn't a 'he' - it was a 'she' and she wasn't alone.  Squinting
> in the moonlight, she gasped as she discovered Steven fully wrapped
> around the girl's young body.  Worse yet, it wasn't just any girl.  It
> was a beautiful Japanese girl who was even now grinding her body against
> 'her' Steven.

	Oh, *now* she gets all possessive, after deciding that she doesn't want 
anything to do with that icky "sex" stuff.

>     That was bad enough but watching the two of them kiss caused her to
> sweat even harder and relive the earlier encounter with the romantic
> couple.
>     As she watched, her stunned surprise slowly dissolved into anger.
> The nerve of him, she groused.  I'm practically naked with him in a
> private room and all he does is pat me on the shoulder.  Out here on a
> public beach, he's practically molesting some strange but attractive
> Japanese girl.  What's more, she appeared to be willing to imitate the
> couple she had run into earlier.
>     Her breath came in tortured gasps as she watched Steven and the
> strange girl collapse onto the warm sand.  Despite the voyeur in her
> wanting to stay and watch, her sense of betrayal overruled everything
> else.

	Oh, crap.

>     With her jaw trembling with the first signs of her natural reaction
> to what she had just witnessed, she turned to run.  She had to get back
> to Mrs. Minazuki's.  She'd pack her things and clear out before he
> returned.  She'd find her own way home.  How dare he!
>     She had just run a few paces when she collided with a large body.
> Without looking, she mumbled her apologies and tried to go around it.
> But instead of freedom, she encountered another large body.  This time,
> she looked up, her anger rising.
>     It quickly dissipated when she got a look at what she had run into.
> Two men - two VERY familiar men - quickly grabbed her.  As she
> struggled, one slapped a rag over her face that reeked of the same odor
> as the one used on her in the back seat of that phoney 'police' car.

	Phoney or phony?  My spellchecker says the latter.

>     The results were the same as before.  The strong aroma of chemicals
> attacked everything including her taste buds as the world seemed to spin
> into darkness.  Her last thought was how fitting an end it was now that
> she knew about Steven and his little 'girlfriend'.

	This is going to turn into a "True Lies" interrogation scene, isn't it?

	What, the end already?  Dang.  Fun chapter, all in all -- managed a 
full does of gutbusting comedy while still advancing their relationship 
-- then torpedoing it (again) while plunging the plot back into Spy 
Novel territory.  It didn't *seem* to advance the "A" plot much (and 
let's face it, the main purpose of the A plot here is to Get Tina A 
Boyfriend), but looking back on the amount of ground covered, the A plot 
actually does move quite a bit -- it just does so in the background 
behind all the sex-comedy stuff.
	If this were Shakespeare, the title would probably be "An International 
Spy's Sex Comedy."   :D