[FFML] [C&C] [Gantz] Point Total

[Farzad Mansouri]

ROFL holy cow this was funny!  On with the critique!


DB Sommer <sommert at connecttime.net> wrote:

> And to help break in the new list:
> 
> Point Total
> (A Gantz spamfic)
> 
> Any and all C+C appreciated. You can contact me at:
> [sommert(at)connecttime.net]
>
> Writer’s forward: Since the series is still being
> written, and the 
> nature of this spamfic doesn’t really matter how it
> ends, assume this 
> takes at an undefined time down the road.
> 
> Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
> 
> Birth (or rebirth) for Kei Kurono consisted of being
> ‘faxed’ molecule by 
> molecule from his apartment to the apartment with
> the Black Ball. Maybe 
> it was just as well, since he had just cut himself
> when slicing an 
> apple, and thanks to the wonders of Gantz Public
> Transportation System, 
> his injury was healed. It beat the time the vampire
> disemboweled him. 
> Luckily he had stayed ‘in the system’, and was
> resurrected by Kato, of 
> all people, who had gotten sucked back into the game
> after getting 
> caught in a crossfire between aliens and rogue
> hunters. Subsequently Kei 
> got returned as well and ‘volunteered’ to
> participate again, since he 
> probably would have been killed by vampires again
> anyway, and he’d just 
> as soon have memories of what they were, and the
> weaponry to do 
> something about it. Besides, he still needed to
> bring back
> 
> The others were there as well. Reika (hard to not
> look at those tits) 
> Bald Guy (he really needed to learn his actual name)
> that prick, Nishi, 
> a handful that had survived the last mission and the
> usual assortment of 
> newly deceased that had discovered a new lease on
> life, one that might 
> have a short duration if they weren’t careful and
> were 
> dissected/melted/eaten by the newest wave of aliens
> that had decided to 
> make Japan their hangout.

There is the odd sentences structure like this was
written in notepad without textwrapping and then
pasted into an email looks odd in places.
 
> There was just enough time to exchange a greeting
> with Kato while Reika 
> explained things to the guys (they had quickly
> learned the male 
> participants were more likely to at least put on
> their suits and grab 
> weapons if Reika was the one asking them to do it).
> 
> “So, how many points away before you can bring
> Kishimoto back?” Kei asked.
> 
> “Twenty. You?” Kato asked.
> 
> “Thirty-Five.” Kato would be bringing back
> Kishimoto. Sakuraoka was 
> Kei’s. He should have done that rather than asking
> for freedom, 
> short-lived as it was. He owed it to the first girl
> to he had sex with, 
> even if he was in love with another. Besides, all
> freeing himself had 
> done was got him killed.

Wow how depressing but that's what the show was to me
anyway.

> 
> “You’re a bit behind this time,” Kato smiled.
> 
> Was there a time that smile bothered Kei? It had
> been so long ago. “I 
> did come back after you were in the game a while,
> and you’re a lot 
> better at it this time around.”
> 
> He spared a glance to see most of the guys were at
> least grabbing the 
> cases with the suits. The one woman amongst the
> newbies was meek, and 
> going with the flow. That might let her survive.
> 
> And then the music began playing from the ball on
> cue. A moment later, 
> the image of their next target showed on the side of
> the ball. It was a 
> human-looking one this time, with an affable look on
> his face and big 
> black spiky hair. He wore an orange martial arts gi
> with a symbol on it. 
> His stats read:
> 
> Characteristics:
> Strong
> Martial Artists
> 
> Likes:
> Blowing up planets
> Coming back from the dead
> 
> Dislikes:
> Dying repeatedly
> 
> Favorite Phrase:
> Kamehameha!
> 
> On the picture it read: Saiyan
> 
> Kei looked Kato in the eye. “We’re pretty much
> screwed, aren’t we?”
> 
> Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
> 
> End.
> 
> Well, you have to admit, that pretty much is the
> worst alien you could 
> chosen to wack.
> 
> Second disclaimer: I don’t own any of the Dragonball
> characters or 
> concepts either.

Now thats a funny ending I loved it!  Well all in all
it was a nice spamfic grats man and welcome back!


----------

A man earns the title 'Great' by having power and NOT abusing it.
-Old Persian philosophy


       
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