[FFML] [Draft 1][Firefly Xover][1st Draft] Roll Out - Chapter 1

[StudioPC]

Disclaimer: No money is being made from this and no such intent  
should be inferred.

Note: A plotbunny that showed up Christmas morning and refused to  
leave. If the fic is broken up, please let me know and I will mail  
you a copy privately.

---------

Lilac:

In retrospect, it was all Jayne's fault.

His plan to smuggle Simon and River Tam into the hospital on Ariel  
had required the crew of Serenity to build an ambulance out of scrap  
and Kaylee, genius that she was, had gained a powerful interest in  
restoring the old and forgotten. So when she'd picked up that car on  
Trinity, he'd chalked it up to her newfound hobby.

He stared up at the what only moments ago had identified itself as an  
alien. An honest to God, alien. Admittedly, some twenty feet tall and  
made of metal. But still, an alien.

Definitely Jayne's fault.

-------------

Scarlon Junkyards, Two weeks ago . . .

"Isn't a beaut, cap'n?" Kaylee asked, beaming.

Malcom "Mal" Reynolds rubbed his jaw and searched for something to  
say. The it in question was a ground car, sharp and angular. Ugly as  
sin, but then again, aesthetics was nowhere on his list of skills.  
Looked Core-made, so what it was doing out here on Trinity was  
anyone's guess. The metal was dented, the windows broken, but it had  
two doors and all four tires. A strange logo adorned the hood.  
Purple, with three points on the top and what might have been a face.  
However, something had scarred a long, jagged edge across the logo.  
Looked like a laser saw. Damnit, the whole thing looked old, like  
something off the histo-tapes of earth-that-was.

"Fancy, aint it?" The scrapyard's owner hooked his thumbs into his  
suspenders. "Engine's tore up and might as well be a piece of go se,  
and the dials are all in some weird numberin system, but otherwise  
good condition. Fella who sold it to me found it on one of prospectin  
asteroids, sittin in the remains of a crash. Not much call for cars  
out here, so I'll let it go for cheap."

"Aw, c'mon, cap'n," Kaylee begged. "What with Inara and the Sheaperd  
gone, it's been powerful quiet. I kin set it up on the side of the  
cargo bay. Somethin to do." She looked up at Mal with those wide blue  
eyes of hers.

You'd have to be a harder man than Malcom Reynolds to resist those eyes.

"Fine," he said and looked at the owner. "Let's talk."

-----------------------

"How . . . nice," Simon Tam managed as Kaylee, Jayne, and Mal pushed  
the car into the corner of the cargo bay and strapped it down with  
magnetic cables.

"It's m' project!" Kaylee explained, pushing up the engine cover with  
one hand and shining a light in with the other, making happy noises.

"It's only asleep." River Tam was sitting on the steps. Her hair hung  
down over her face as she watched Kaylee. "Not aware. Hurts with past  
misdeeds." With that, she climbed up onto the car's roof and lay  
there. "No dreams," she informed them. Or she might have been talking  
to the car. With River, it was sometimes hard to tell.

Behind them, Zoe steered the Mule in, hauling the trailer of engine  
parts they'd bought.

"Get those parts put away before you start tinkerin," Mal said to  
Kaylee. "You worry about my ship before you worry about that car,  
dong ma?"

"Sure thing, Cap'n," Kaylee promised. "This'll be so shiny!"

"Mal shook his head stalked over to the panel where he flipped two  
switches. The first closed the airlock and exterior doors. The second  
keyed the intercom to the bridge. "Wash. Let's go."

"Sure thing," the pilot replied and the cargo bay began to hum and  
vibrate as Serenity's engines came to life.

----------------------------

Time passed oddly, out in the Black. Gallieo sector was almost empty.  
No planets for nearly ten days in any direction.

Aboard Serenity, time passed serenely. Mal, Jayne and Zoe could be  
found in the Galley, cleaning and tending to their weapons or taking  
care of things that needed taking care of. Wash spent most of his  
waking hours on the Cortex, updating charts and communing with  
various sources. The latter was normally the job of First Officer,  
but Zoe wasn't good with people and Wash was.

Kaylee got several projects done on Serenity that had needed doing in  
the first two days, and spent the rest of the week in the cargo bay  
with the car. River spent most of her time there as well.

About the fifth day, there had been a small commotion when Kaylee had  
triggered something in the car's electrics, but aside from a face- 
full of smoke and a small burn, no harm was done.

"Damnedest thing," Kaylee said three days later as they sat down to  
dinner. "I swear the car is fixing itself."

"Fixing itself?" Wash asked.

"Yeah. Like, there was this part in the cab. Entertainment or  
something. I put in some new lights last night before bed, but that's  
all. This mornin, those lights were all hooked up."

"Maybe you did hook them up without realizing it," Wash suggested.  
"You were probably tired."

"Maybe, but sometimes, I could almost swear its trying to help me."

"You woke him up," River said. "He's listening. Curious." She looked  
around the room, then took her bowl and crawled under the table where  
she refused to come out until bedtime.

---------------------------

Fingo and Manty called as they left Gallieo Sector. The twins were  
one of the most well connected brokers in the 'verse. Mal could  
usually rely on them when Serenity needed a job and they liked the  
fact that Mal didn't cheat, always did the job, and wasn't  
particularly squeamish when it came to employing violence. They  
especially liked the fact that he didn't ask questions.

It was a simple bank robbery. Pay receipts for mercs the Alliance  
used to police the outer planets. Quick and simple, in and out.  
Serenity would get fifteen percent of the take.

Mal liked quick and simple and fifteen percent didn't hurt his  
feelings at all.

River now spent almost all her time with Kaylee's car. She kept  
insisting it could talk, but she said the same thing about most  
machines. No one paid her claims any mind and Kaylee was busy fussing  
with the entry ports to do any real work on the car,

One night, Simon woke to check on River and found her bed empty. This  
wasn't entirely unusual. River was known for taking nighttime walks  
and Simon had learned not to immediately panic. Still half asleep, he  
went to the cargo bay, drawn by the sound of River's voice. When he  
got there, he found her sitting on the the engine compartment,  
speaking to the windshield.

"And that," she was saying as he walked up to her, "is why Zoe is a  
tree."

"River?" He asked around a yawn. "What are you doing?"

"Explaining why Zoe is a tree," she said. "You're a shi tzu," she added.

"That's nice," Simon said, "but you need rest, mei mei."

She pouted at him, but slid off and patted the door. "Goodnight," she  
said to the car and let Simon lead her out of the bay.

As they left, Simon thought he heard a voice reply, "Goodnight, River  
Tam." By morning, he'd forgotten about it.

----------------------------

The day had started to go bad when the entry coupling had fallen off  
the ship while making its insertion into the atmo of Lilac.

Things just went downhill from there.

At the moment, Mal was simultaneously cursing Fanty, Mingo, his own  
father, three religious deities, and whatever black hell had spawned  
the Reavers.

Going well past the safety limits in the Mule's manual, Mal fired  
shots at the Reaver skiff as it pursued them across the wasteland,  
the shots from his pistol bouncing off the skiff's armor. He was not  
foolish enough to fly and shoot, however. Zoe was driving, and Mal  
trusted Zoe implicitly.

"Gee, would be nice if we had some grenades!" Jayne griped, the  
heavier rounds of his gun doing little more than Mal's pistol. Mal's  
response was to give Jayne a "shut up" glare. Privately, he made a  
note to start keeping grenades on the mule.

Over the howl of the mule's engine, the roar of the skiff and the  
noise of their guns, he could hear Zoe talking to Wash.

-------------------------------

"Okay, Zoe, honey, I want you to come around north. We're going to  
try a Barn Swallow." Wash kept one hand on the control stick, the  
other punching up a model into the flight computer, splitting his  
attention between the homer, the computer, and the window. This would  
require precision and -- "what the hell?" Before Wash's very eyes,  
the model on the screen changed, new numbers being fed in, a new  
flight plan being built, and Wash's hand was not touching the keys.

The com crackled to life. "My apologies, Pilot Hoagburne," said a  
deep voice. There was a slight mechanical burr to it. "But there is  
insufficient time for explanations if the others are to be saved.  
Come about to the course and altitude I've given you, and then open  
the main hatch."

"Open the-- who the hell are you?"

"You may call me Oberon." The com clicked off and then clicked on  
again, this time with Simon's voice. "Wash?"

"Little busy, Simon."

"Kaylee's car is moving.

"Moving?" Wash repeated.

"On its own."

Wash blinked at the com, groped with several thoroughly unbelievable  
possibilities, and then decided to worry about it after Zoe was safe.  
Without looking, he flipped the switches for the main hatch.

 From the cargo bay, he heard the growl of an engine and then through  
the window, he saw the car, now with wings, tail, and thrusters speed  
off towards the mule's position.

"Space madness," he muttered and keyed the com again. "Zoe?"

--------------------------

"I hear you, baby," Zoe replied. Behind her, she could hear Jayne  
shouting at Mal, a Reaver harpoon in his leg, as Mal tried to cut the  
cable by shooting at it.

"New plan. Keep on your current heading. Help is coming."

"Help? From who?"

There was a pause and then Wash replied with the tone of someone who  
can't believe the words coming out of their mouth. "Kaylee's car."

Zoe almost lost control of the Mule. "What?"

Before Wash could reply, she saw Kaylee's car speeding towards  
them . . . flying. Mouth open,  she could only watch as it passed  
overhead, and then . . . and then it changed.

The engine folded over, revealing a head, the sides became arms, legs  
forming out of the rear half. But even as it was finishing its  
transformation, the car . . . no, the robot was already coming down  
to land astride the skiff, jostling Jayne loose from his grip on the  
mule. Zoe banked away, backing off on the speed a mite, watching the  
skiff from the corner of her eye.

"YAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" the big Merc screamed as he flew backwards, only  
to be caught by the robot, there was a flash of light, and then the  
hand holding Jayne was cradled to the robot's chest, the harpoon  
cable severed.

Zoe swerved around a rock outcropping.

With Jayne now in its grip, the robot had turned his attention to the  
skiff itself, one leg lashing out to hammer at the smoking engines,  
apparently trying to dislodge it from its mountings. The skiff's  
engines backfired and it lurched, horribly, but the robot held its  
grip. She could just make out Jayne's head between the giant's thumb  
and forefinger.

The engine refused to dislodge and the robot changed tactics, its  
foot hammering at the skiff's rudder.

"Zoe?" Mal asked. "Do you conjure that I might have contracted some  
illness causin me to hallucinate a giant robot attackin Reavers?"

"If so, sir, I've contracted it with you, Zoe replied stoically. Only  
someone like Mal, who was as close to Zoe as anyone could be with the  
exception of Wash, heard the edge of hysteria in her voice.

The robot began to rock, its weight making the skiff lurch and sway,  
its foot now alternating between attacking the engines and the  
rudder. For a moment, Zoe couldn't figure out why it was using such  
odd tactics and then it hit her. It either didn't have weapons or  
couldn't use them as one hand was protecting Jayne and the other was  
holding on to the skiff.

It suddenly stopped, shook its head disgustedly, and then planting  
its feet on the skiff's wings, leapt up and backwards, producing a  
gun from somewhere and firing.

Four well-aimed shots of red laser fire blasted into the skiff's  
thrusters. The engines cut out as the reactor began to go and the  
skiff veered off wildly.

In the air, the robot became a car again, wheels already spinning as  
it hit the ground, engine howling as the tires found traction and  
then it pulled up alongside the mule. Inside the cabin, Jayne stared  
at them with wide eyes.

In the distance, the skiff exploded as its reactor blew.

"Zoe, come around to thirty-five degrees north by northeast and  
reduce speed. There's an old quarry about five miles away, we'll  
roundevouz there," Wash instructed. "Is everyone okay?"

"The captain and I seem to be seeing things, and Jayne took a harpoon  
to the leg, but otherwise all parts are in order," Zoe replied.

"I swallowed a bug," River added.

-----------------------------

The mule had barely slowed to a stop before Mal had leapt out. The  
car quietly pulled up, the door opened and the canopy lifted up and  
forward.

"The car drove itself, Mal," Jayne said, clearly frightened out of  
his wits. Mal wasn't far behind. "And it was a robot 'fore that."

"And you're bleeding all over my upholstery," replied a voice. Deep,  
with a mechanical burr to it.

The gun was in Mal's hand without his even realizing it.

"You can't shoot a car," River said.

"No, darlin, you're right, I can't. But I don't cotton to cars  
driving themselves either. Seems a mite unnatural."

"Jayne is still bleeding," River added. "What happens when he runs out?"

Mal twitched. Take care of your crew. Jayne was crew. He turned his  
head towards the mule where Simon was checking Zoe without taking his  
eyes from the car. "Doctor? We have a patient here."

Simon hurried over, but approached cautiously. "Captain, I don't  
think this a real car. It moves by itself."

"No, I'm not a real car," replied the voice, and then added in a sort  
of pointed tone. "He's still bleeding on my upholstery."

"Oh. Right." Mal and Simon reached in and grabbed Jayne by the arms,  
hauling him out. Mal was vaguely aware of Wash, Zoe, and Kaylee  
joining them.

"Captain, I . . ." Kaylee began and then trailed off.

Mal took a deep breath and then addressed the car. "I'm Malcom  
Reynolds, Captain of the Serenity. I suppose a thank you is in order."

The door and canopy closed, and then, with a noise that rose in  
pitch, the car began to move. Parts slid around, folded over and  
extended. Within the space of a second, a massive robot, slightly  
taller than Serenity itself, stood in front of them. It knelt and  
lowered it's head until it could look Mal in the eyes. The face was  
square, literally. Two blue eyes the size video screens, a squared  
off nose, and a mouth. Mal had the sinking feeling he was not looking  
at the work of human hands.

"I am Oberon, former Archive keeper of the Decepticon Armada, from  
the planet Cybertron. I am what you would call an alien." A pause. "I  
would like to join you."

Mal groped for words even as one thought bounced through his mind.

This was all Jayne's fault.