[FFML] [ffml][lemon][fragment][Tenchi] Please help C&C

[doug whiddon]

Hello all! I'm back. I haven't been a member, or even a lurker here 
for years. I stopped when I left college for university and had to 
change email addresses. I just never had time to make the list a part 
of my life. Based on the archive it seems like the list has shrunk a 
bit (maybe thats just me.)

Anyway, this has always been a great place for C&C and was hoping for 
some help.

I've been trying to post a fic segment to Anime Adventures
http://addventure.bast-enterprises.de/recent1000.html

The butt head, shit bag, scum sucking, control freak, moderator keeps
telling me the segment I want to post has 1, count-em 1, grammer
error. (although in the last email he said he thinks he sees another one)
Since its a short segment he won't allow any. And he won't
tell me what the error is, where it is, or what kind of error it is. I think
he's pegging me for a style choice, but he claims it is a glaring 
technical error.
You will find the segment bellow. If anyone can spot the error, they will
earn my eternal gratitude.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
It's a continuation of story where upon release Ryoko ends
up chained to a pole and Tenchi is going to have his way with her.
the previous chapter is here:

http://addventure.bast-enterprises.de/120418.html?
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
(and here's my bit)

The kiss deepened. Tenchi reached down and slid two fingers into her 
cleft. She was wet enough to ease entry, but very tight. He rubbed 
his thumb against her clit making her moan into his mouth. Her whole 
body arched against his, she tightened up until he was worried he 
would lose his fingers.


She broke the kiss. "Fuck me!" she said, almost begging.


Tenchi withdrew his fingers and slid his cock into her. She was 
incredibly tight, and the best thing he ever felt. He slid in and out 
slowly, savoring the feeling. He started to move faster as her moans 
deepened. He gripped her hips as he thrust in as hard and fast as he could.


"Fuck me harder!" Ryoko cried out. Her long legs wrapped around 
Tenchi's waist as she pulled and bounced on the chains at her wrists.


Tenchi came hard.


Ryoko's head fell back. "Oh, Yes!" she cried.


Tenchi's energy drained, he pulled his now flaccid cock from the 
tight grip of Ryoko's pussy and fell to his knees. Ryoko's legs were 
still wrapped around his waist. The part of Tenchi's brain not 
dedicated to fucking Ryoko noticed something wrong. He looked to his 
left. One of the chains that was supposed to be holding Ryoko's legs 
was lying on the grass, its manacle still locked and unbroken. Tenchi 
looked to his right and the other chain was the same. Tenchi looked 
back at Ryoko. She smiled, and seeming to read his mind, slipped out 
of the wrist manacles. Tenchi wasn't sure how she got loose. One 
moment she was locked up, the next she was free, and Tenchi was too 
tired to fight.