[FFML] [Fanfic][Naruto] Suiren, Chapter 13: Mission...

[Eimii]

> I have a few comments as well about the begining.  First I really do enjoy
> it as its truely valueble information that we didnt get earlier.  However
> given the fact that they explicitly mention how long the disguise lasted
> last time having no mention of time between scenes is too jarring.  They
> seem to be on the same day from what you have said earlier.  You really
> might consider swapping the scene order or if you enjoy leaving them as they
> are making some reference to it being evening or otherwise late in the day
> to have given the disguise a chance to wear off.  Perhaps with the front
> desk person making a very deliberate check of the time, needing to ask a
> question of someone else before sending her on up.

Hmm... well, her meeting with Yoshinari was early in the morning, and
her meeting with Kurenai was late-ish in the afternoon, so its quite
possible that it actually did have enough time to wear off in the in
between them. I might have to make the timeframes more explicit..