[FFML] [fanfic][Sailormoon] Moonshadow, chapter five (draft)

The Eternal Lost Lurker lurkerdrome at sbcglobal.net
Sat Aug 25 05:08:00 PDT 2007


> I was a little surprised by the history lesson, in that it was so
> close to canon (albeit with a lot more detail than the canon ever
> gave us).

Ahh. It SEEMS close to canon now. But remember--Luna does not necessarily
know *everything*, and there are things...very important things...she has
absolutely no awareness of. :)

> Other than that -- it felt rather flat, lifeless.

Yes, this has been the major complaint so far. My style of dealing with
exposition is to crap it out in one massive infodump and have everyone react
to it later, because interreaction tends to break narrative flow, but even I
admit that this particular infodump needs to be spiced up a little.

> more entertaining to read but could easily make it twice the length
> as well, which may not be a goal of yours!

Exactly why it's written the way it is. But I think I know a way to make it
in-between both, with some simple attention to already-established
characterisation. :)

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The Eternal Lost Lurker
www.lurkerdrome.com




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