[FFML] [C&C] Re: [fanfic][Sailormoon] Moonshadow, chapter two

[The Eternal Lost Lurker]

> Moving right along...

Yes, quite ^_^

> > An odd one he was, too. Who the heck wore formalwear to commit a felony?
>
> Should maybe be "formal wear"?
>
> Although, knowing English, it's probably a valid word that I'm just not
> familiar with. ;)

It can be written either ways. Many stores that actually sell such clothing
call themselves "formalwear botiques" in their marquees and invoices.

> > He sighed. "Or else..." He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out
a
> > small black snub-nosed revolver. "what?"
>
> ...well, I suppose it's easier to threaten with it than a rose.

This is a slightly more edgy, gritty Tuxedo Kamen than the poofy rose-boy
we're all used to. ^_^

> > "Your mother BACK THEN the Queen," Luna snapped, causing Usagi to
flinch,
> > "sent you and her little whor--*warriors* forward in time when you died
to
> > be reborn so that you could all fight again if you needed to. Though why
she
> > sent *you* is beyond me, but...anyway."
>
> My, this Luna seems to have enjoyed her job _so much_.

Oh did she now? You're assuming this Luna had the same job canon Luna had...
;)

> ...although, it's rather interesting that you have Mina transforming
> into her Sailor Moon-like Sailor V outfit when the "who's the real
> Princess?" plot doesn't look like it's going to come into play at all.

I have an explanation for that, though it involves a lot of bullshit.

Basically, it's like this: There are two ways for the true power of a Senshi
to Awaken: dire stress from a potentially deadly situation (or close enough
to deadly to count--see chapter three), or for Serenity to Awaken them
herself. However, if a girl is believed to be a Senshi, but has shown no
actual signs of it, a certain type of item can be used to activate a
"training mode" which doesn't draw on their actual Senshi powers, but still
enables them to transform and fight, albeit at a low-powered capacity.
Hence, Sailor V.

> > "Because my que--" Luna coughed. "Queen Serenity's enemies are returning
to
> > this world. Without you and the warriors, Earth will be overrun with
> > darkness. Humanity will be enslaved by demonic hordes."
>
> ...hmm.  So this Luna was originally a servant of Beryl and/or Metallia?

Good catch. :) A lot...and I mean A LOT...of people haven't cottoned on to
that one without it being spelled out for them. Yes, Luna is a youma, and a
rather powerful one at that.

> Wonder what that means for Artemis.  Timothy's definitely a bit...
> slimier than canon Artemis, but thus far he doesn't seem quite... primal
> evil enough to be the same as Luna.

Oh, Artemis is something else entirely. I don't want to spoil it too much,
but basically, two points:
1. Artemis WAS a servant of Serenity.
2. Artemis controls Luna through VERY potent blood magick, as well as a geas
on his AND her True Names. "Luna" isn't even her True Name, but a
convenience, and she can't speak Artemis' Name *at all*.

> > The thief stood nearby, casually hefting a grenade launcher from which
> > trails of smoke curled into the night air. He grinned at her. "So, still
> > want me to go to jail?"
>
> ...hah.  Well, that's one way to pull off a special attack.  :)

Indeed. :)

> > unholy monsters into nothingness, leaving little more than piles of ash
and
> > soiled, foul cloth.
>
> ...well, that's a _little_ more impressive than Moon Tiara Action.

Just a bit, yes. :)

> > Morganite gasped one last, painful wheeze, and fell dead at her sister's
> > feet.
>
> Out of curiosity: is Morganite a Beryl-analogue from the Sailor V manga,
> or is she original to this?

Original to this. I needed a disposable villain, basically, and came up with
the notion of a sister to Beryl who would be killed very early on. This is
not to say Morganite was entirely pointless; on the contrary, some things
about her brief appearance will become VERY important later on.

> > With that, he vanished in a pulse of darkness.
>
> "I shall replace the owner of a jewelry store with an energy-draining
> youma!  There's no way the Senshi could possibly uncover my plan.
> Unless the owner's daughter's best friend happens to be the Princess,
> but that would  just be silly."

Heheheh. Actually, the Senshi and the Shitennou will not come into direct
conflict for QUITE some time...

> More minimally useful comments to follow once I've read chapter three...

Looking forward to it!

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The Eternal Lost Lurker
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