[FFML] [Fanfic][Naruto] Suiren, Chapter 13: Mission...

[Eimii]

> >And i'm never quite sure how to react when people tell me that the
> >scene changes are 'jarring.' Part of that is intentional, as each
> >scene is written from a different character's perspective, and each
> >character lives and acts at a different 'pace.' In the scene from
> >Kurenai's perspective, Sakura was in the process of calming down after
> >her experience, so Kurenai notices that Sakura's behavior is a bit
> >erratic.
>
> Yeah. I think it's more that the previous scene just /ended/, and
> didn't feel like there was any resolution or transition, and then all
> of a sudden it's Kurenai coming up to Sakura's ANBU office on what
> seems like a perfectly normal day.

That's sort of an... accurate feeling to get, i think. I'm not really
disappointed that this transition causes that kind of disorientation,
because for everyone but Sakura, Yoshinari and Temari, this _is_ more
or less a perfectly normal day. Though it may seem like it to her
(and, to a lesser extent, to the people closest to her), Sakura's
trials are not epic in scale, and she is not very important in the
grand scheme of things in the Narutoverse.

With regard to the scene just 'ending'... hmm... well, the 'Red Queen'
(as i've sort of been referring to her internally, due to a certain
pre-readers comment...), did bring the dream sequence to an abrupt
end, before the other Sakura could really absorb what was going on.
There would be a lot of distress on Sakura's part when she came to,
but more questions would be raised than answered, i think.

Also... hmm, how should i put this... i kind of like leaving readers
in the dark ^_^;? I think the feeling you get when you're forced to
think about something for a while, then find out later whether you
were right or not, can be more satisfying than if someone more openly
leads you to the answer. I'd never think of writing a mystery story,
since i doubt i have the subtlety and calculating mind for that, but i
do try to build suspense into my narrative where i can...

> >Hopefully, this scene will feel better retroactively, like the other
> >recent that has been described as too 'jarring' in its given context.
> >I'll think on adding more transition prose, but i'm not making any
> >promises -_-;...
>
> Yeah... I'm sure it will. I did like the way this was handled,
> especially with the "Remnant-Sakura"...

That's good; i was especially worried about that bit, since in the
previous version i'd given almost no information about Temari and what
had happened to her...

>
> two questions that may be interestingly relevant.
>
> 1) Did Sakura synchronize memories with the "Remnant-Sakura" again
> with this linkup? Did it include any of Temari's experiences in the ANBU cell?

This one, i will answer, because Sakura sort of already answered it:
No, as 'Retriever-Sakura' observed, she experienced no 'merging' while
she was with 'Remnant-Sakura,' so she did not gain any of memories of
'Remnant-Sakura's' experiences in Temari's mind, and 'Remnant-Sakura'
has no idea what's been going on in the outside world except for what
what she's been able to infer from observing Temari...

>
> 2) Does Yoshinari know about 'Inner Sakura', and how it/she helped
> Sakura break free of the Shintenshin the first time around - I'm
> starting to suspect that there's a direct link between this and the
> way this jutsu works without causing serious psychic injury, although
> I know some authors treat 'Inner Sakura' as nothing more than a
> dramatic device, others have taken it far beyond that...

This one, i will half-answer, because half the question was answered
back in 'Release.' Yoshinari does indeed know about 'Inner-Sakura' and
the way she has affected Sakura's past experiences with mind control.
Anko had jokingly suggested that this was proof that Sakura was insane
long before she started experimenting with genjutsu...

With regard to the second part, i'm not going to fall one way or the
other in a public forum, because that hasn't been revealed yet in the
story. If you want to ask me privately, i can oblige you with how i
feel about it _currently_, but be warned, that may change in the
future ^_~...

>
> Oh, and while I'm sure he's ... /busy/... It'd be nice to get a bit
> of Kakashi's POV and see what he's up to, especially with Sakura
> having spent some time in this chapter complaining that he's ignoring
> her. (Maybe if you're working the Tea Country mission into things,
> that would be a good time to bring it up?)

I'm probably not going to do anything with the Tea Country missions,
because i haven't seen the filler episodes and Suiren is pretty
far-removed from canon by this point. I'm also reluctant to linger too
much on Kakashi because... well... after he got over the initial
shock, he might actually be _relieved_ that he doesn't have to think
too much about Sakura at the moment -_-;...

Kakashi, like all of the jounin, has been spending so much time on
missions that even Sasuke, whom he now concentrates on almost
exclusively (with regard to training) feels that Kakashi doesn't spend
enough time with him. I have to wonder if he'd really pay more than
the occasional, absent thought to Sakura. She's not in any danger
(that he knows of), after all...

~Eimii