[FFML] [Naruto] One Hundred Days - Chapter Sixteen: The Hundredth Day

[Matthew Campbell]

>From: Eimii <eimii.sensei at gmail.com>
>> Not quite sure how to fix it, though, but I'll see what comes to me when
>> I'm revising.
>
>I'm not really sure how to fix it either. Naruto's important people
>are all elsewhere, so there's really no way to better resolve his
>story unless you want to delve into his mind a bit as he fight Sasuke
>and the Kyuubi, to show how his experiences have changed him.
>
>Most of Sakura's important people are present, though, so she could
>probably be a little more emotionally involved. She's got a lot of
>connections that she didn't have before; she's connected to Homura, to
>Tsunade, to Midori, to Ren, to the Mist, to Anko, to the snakes (and
>by extension, the other snake-users). She's killed her own mother, an
>aunt that she never knew she had tried to kill _her_, her cousin is
>still trying to kill her (incidentally, Midori is now one of sakura's
>closest living relatives), she's friends with a girl who is
>technically her enemy...
>
>I suppose, as ninja, it would probably be best if they could just
>sweep all of this under the rug when they need to in order to
>function, but the fact remains that Naruto and Sakura are collecting
>bonds faster than Sasuke can cut his, and a central theme is that
>those bonds make them stronger, not weaker (as Sasuke would claim).
>Doing things to emphasize that might help...

I agree with that.  (Sorry for not getting my comments out, Aaron.  I keep meaning to.)

This fic has been all about relationship-building.  I think for a really satisfying ending, it needs to touch on briefly on all the new friendships (and enemities) that Naruto and Sakura have forged.  You might want to consider expanding the epilogue, not in terms of time but in terms of geography by doing a quick jump to all of the secondary characters and sum up where they are right now.

It was rather disappointing to have Anko's last appearance in the fic be unconscious, after all the character development she's gotten and the strong relationship she built with Sakura.

---
Matthew